Martina B.
I am 36 years old and I am tired of being FAT! I have battled my weight most of my life and I am just sick of it. While I have been "chubby" since about sixth grade, it has been the last ten years that have seen my weight become completely out of control. In 1995, my husband and I lost our only child at birth. We were devastated, and still are in many ways, but one of my ways to cope was to eat. And eat I did. I gained 67 pounds in a little over nine months. I just didn't care about my health or appearance, or much else for that matter. I am not trying to make excuses, I just want to get this all out in the open as a way of continuing my personal journey toward healing. After much love from family and friends, therapy, and most importantly time, I am trying to get healthy.
I am at my highest weight ever right now and I honestly believe it is killing me. I am tired all of the time, I hurt when I try to do even the smallest tasks, my blood pressure is horrible and I am convinced that I am going to have a heart attack any day. I want to feel like I did before I gained all of the weight. I want to be able to walk for more than a few yards without pain in my feet and ankles and knees. I want to WANT to walk again.
Like most people, I have tried diet after diet only to end up feeling like a failure again and again. I began seriously researching wls about six months ago and feel very confident about it. My husband and I attended the surgeon's conference on February 7th and that made up my mind completely. I am going to do it, somehow, someway!!
2/14/06 After attending the surgeion's conference, I received a letter telling me that the next step I needed to take was to have the psych. evaluation, so that is what I did today. It was quite strange I thought. It felt like he kept asking me the same things just in a different way and then questioning my answers more than I thought necessary. Hey, whatever, it's over and he said he agreed that I would be a good candidate for wls. He did tell me that he was going to "prescribe" attending the support groups, but I planned to do that anyway!
2/21/06 Well, I guess the problems have started. When I had the psych evaluation, I was told that the dr. didn't file insurance but that I would be provided the necessary paperwork to do so myself. Ok, I can handle that. Well, I called M-Plan today to find out what I needed to do to be reimbursed and all hell has broken loose. I feel like I have failed yet again. The insurance rep told me that while wls is a covered benefit for me (which I already knew) he did not have the proper authorizations in the computer. When I questioned him on this, he said that I needed to see my primary care dr. first before I had done anything else. I informed him that I most certainly had seen my pcp first and that he had referred me to the surgeon. Well, however it happened, I guess that never got recorded. Not only that, I learned that M-Plan has a requirement for an 18 MONTH doctor supervised weight loss program. OMG! I cannot prove 18 months of supervised weight loss! I was told that all of that time I spent doing Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig and Nutri System and LA Weightloss and blah, blah, blah, I should have still been seeing my doctor once a month to "monitor" my results. WHAT RESULTS! I think this is absurd! Who goes to their pcp once a month for 18 months??!! I am so down right now. I had been feeling so good and so positive, like there actually was light at the end of the tunnel and now that tunnel has just collapsed. I don't think I can live like this for 18 more months before I can even APPLY to be approved. If anyone is actually reading this and has any advice, please help!!
4/19/06 I always laugh when I am reading the profiles on this site and people say things like "wow, it's been a while since I posted." I LOVE to write and thought that I would just be updating all the time, well... guess what? WOW, it's been a while since I posted!! HAHA! Actually, I was just really frustrated by the whole 18 month diet deal and just didn't feel like I had much to say. I have worked hard at trying to overcome that attitude and accepting that I have to just work one day at a time and leave it in the Lord's hands. SO, here's what I have been doing the last couple of months. Right after I learned about the insurance requirements, I made an appointment to meet with my pcp and explained everything I knew to him. He is more than willing to do whatever it takes to help me be approved and agreed with me that most insurance companies just don't want to pay for this surgery. He feels that they are hoping you will lose interest and just give up. Well, I am NOT giving up. I WILL win this battle, ha! I am now meeting my pcp once a month to discuss my weight and the things I am trying. So far, I have GAINED two pounds! It never fails, I think I actually eat more when I am trying to "eat well." Actually, I go to see my pcp tomorrow morning, so, we will see if I have gotten any better. Along with meeting with my family doctor once a month, he is also having me meet with a nutrionist once a month. It so happens that my family doctor's office is located in a family practice building with three other doctor's, a lab, the nutrionist, and a couple of nurse practioners. It makes it really nice to be able to have so many services located together in one place. In addition to meeting with my family doctor and the nutrionist each month, I have lots of stuff going on outside of "the diet," ha! I have to have my teaching license renewed this year so I am in the process of signing up for a couple of classes at a local college in our area. I can't believe it has already been five years again! My little baby puppy, Louis, is now six and a half months old and is about ready to be neutered. Well, HE isn't ready, but WE are, ha. In about the last month he has earned the nickname Humpy Humperson and that just has to go! (poor little fellow) He is a full blooded AKC toy poodle and my husband is trying to convince me to breed him, but I just think we have enough going on without that. He is a great little pup, very loving and smart and he has been an absolute blessing for me. We lost both of our other babies in 2004. Chloe was a silver beige female who passed of a stroke at 14 years old. Less than six months later, my little guy, Jessie, passed at 13 years old. He was an apricot mini. These losses were terribly hard on both my husband and me and our new little guy has helped us heal quite a lot! He also LOVES to go for nice long walks so that is great for me!
