pjbgranny
My story began from a very early age. I have always been overweight and at this point in my life would love to be the weight I was in High School. If I knew then what I know now things would have been much different.
I come from a wonderful family, my parents are the best, there is no logical reason to have grown up feeling like I was worthless because my parents always told all of us girls that we could be anything we wanted to be. For some reason that just didn't register in my mind.
I have had three failed marriages and through each one I just kept adding the weight on. My first was what I thought to be the love of a lifetime, he gave me my first daughter, (someone who needed me), he took me as I was and didn't expect any changes, little did I know that he got his kicks from drugs which altered everthing, thus leaving me with an additional 55lbs during this phase. My next was only for a few months but added just as much weight, (caught him at a bar in the back seat with some other woman), what that does for self esteem! After this marriage I started Weight Watchers and lost about 50lbs that when I met my third husbnad. This marriage produced another benefit (my second daughter), but was the most tramatic of them all. I suffered much abuse and learned to pray for an escape route while eating my way to morbid obesity. During the 10 years I gained from 190 to 280 and had no confidence in myself at all. I knew what was going on in my life but had no way out. Many things could be said for this marriage and I thought I was so "IN LOVE" but it was just a place that I found comfort because I knew what I could do and what I couldn't. CHANGE was uncertain so scary.
I was brought up in a faith based Bible believing Pentecostal Church of God, so prayer is something that I believe in TOTALY. I prayed many times that God would take this man out of my life (just let him die in a car accident, let a truck hit him anything like that) because I was to SCARED to do anythng myself (afraid of what this man would do). Finally one day God spoke to me just like people talk to each other every day, He said "OK, I will give you what your asking for, but when I do take him I am going to take the girls with him" In that split second I realized how selfish I was being and prayed for God to forgive me for ALL the wrong I had done. I thank God all the time that He gave me the chance to amend my prayers and leave my girls here with me. My prayer changed from take him out God to, "Lord help me find the right way to get out of this if he is not going to change and become one of Your Children.) Shortly after this prayer God opened my eyes to the fact that he was having a affiar, I caught him in the act and this gave me the strength and knowledge that it was OK for me to leave him, but my weight was at the highest it had ever been. I weighed 299.6lbs. (DONT'S BE SAD OR FEEL BAD IT WAS A BLESSING) I have learned so many things and been able to witness to so many other women who are traveling the same road I have traveled. God has his reason for everything that happens in our lives. He doesn't cause everything to happen, many of the things are caused by what WE want and God just steps aside and says OK you asked for it here it is.
Through all this I have become someone who I RESPECT and does not care what others think about me, (before I was a people pleaser, a peace maker, I went out of way to make others feel good about who they were, even in High School I bought my friends). I have learend that "IT'S OK IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME, BECAUSE I AM NOT THE ONE MISSING OUT ON FRIENDSHIP, YOU ARE) BECAUSE WHAT I HAVE TO OFFER YOU AS A FRIEND FAR OUT-WEIGHS WHAT YOU CAN OFFER ME" That leasson took me 40 years to learn but it was well worth it.
Since that wonderful day when I kicked #3 out of the house and he left home my life changed. I just wanted to spend time alone with my girls, I knew then that everyghint we had was because I made it happen and no some man. But God had a differnt plan, He sent me the love of my life. (This man knows what I think even before I think it) God is good and my husband didn't care if I was overweight or not. But in the 11 years that we have been together I have came to a place in my life where I wanted something different. I didn't want to be the fat girl with the pretty face anymore. I want people to look at me and say WOW. So on October 1 2007 after one year of meeting insurance qualifications I was able to have the surgery I prayed for. God met this need and my insurance paid 90% of this. That was Gods answer to me that it was in His will that I do this.
My journey is not yet complete but I am well on my way to making that happen.
LOVE IN CHRIST
