phred
phred posted a discussion topic 15 years ago
Quoth the raven --- - There once was a girl named Lenore,And a bird and a bust and a door,And a guy with depression,And a whole lot of questions,And the bird always says "Nevermore."
phred posted a discussion topic 15 years ago
Delusions --- - At a beach that is nudism-zoned,All my sunscreen and lotion is loaned,To the women who lie,On their bellies, so ICan apply it—no stern's left untoned!
phred posted a discussion topic 15 years ago
Pun-American conference - My recalcitrant hair is a passel,Of tangles and twists, like a tassel.So allow me to gush,On the stiff-bristled brush,For it's clear a man's comb is his hassle!
phred posted a discussion topic 15 years ago
Do I need an attitude adjustment??? - The antiobesity crowd,Has suggested I not be allowed,To eat like a piggy.Well, piss off, Miss Twiggy!Pass the meatloaf. I'm fat, and I'm proud!
phred posted a discussion topic 15 years ago
Dead love life??? - At a point when his sex life is dead,To Jerusalem, Popeye has fled,Saying, "No, not to bawlBy that old Wailing Wall.I yam off to Mount Olive instead!"
phred posted a discussion topic 15 years ago
VSG impact on the mind --- - I am puzzled, befuddled, bemused.From my brain, rhyme and reason have oozed,Till I'm losing my grip.Now I'm really muxed ip,Rather baffled, perplexed and confused!
phred posted a discussion topic 15 years ago
Seeking one's roots ---- - Young Skywalker's caught in a pother,Of feelings that fluster and bother.He's stunned for a while,(Anagnorisis-style),When Darth Vader says, "Luke, I'm your father!"
phred posted a discussion topic 15 years ago
Don't forget --- - The Decalogue, given to MosesBy Jehovah, was no bed of roses.It made moral demands,And today it still stands,Though it's often ignored, one supposes.
phred posted a discussion topic 15 years ago
Almost a VSG????? - I fear that my : is swollen,So my surgeon's cajolin', extollin'A procedure to cut,Away half of my gut,Which would leave but a mere ;
phred posted a discussion topic 15 years ago
Damned May/December relationships --- - A young virgin bestowed her consent,On an octogenarian gent,But the night they were wed,He was dead in their bed.What had happened? He came, and he went!
phred posted a discussion topic 15 years ago
VSG = Memory loss? - My absolver has freed me from sin,But Saint Peter won't let me come in.Here I'm stuck at the gate,With a terrible fate:I've forgotten my password and PIN!
phred posted a discussion topic 15 years, 1 month ago
Enjoying retirement! - Working people frequently ask us retired people what we do to make our days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We ...
phred posted a discussion topic 15 years, 1 month ago
Just so you know! - Mahatma Gandhi always walked barefoot and ultimately the soles of his feet became thick and very hard. He also was, of course, known to be a man of deep spiritual conviction. He un...
phred posted a discussion topic 15 years, 1 month ago
Sick puppy??? - My inquisitive golden retriever,Killed a beaver and now has a fever.So I'm giving the bitch,Acetanilid, which,Is a fevered retriever reliever!
phred posted a discussion topic 15 years, 2 months ago
Nighty night - A bedchamber's what it would seem:A place one can sleep, perchance dream,Or taste the delights,That fill up the nights,Of couples from Kansas to Nîmes!
phred posted a discussion topic 15 years, 2 months ago
It's my burden! - I have a slight problem, you see,I admit, I have A.D.D.So it's hard to design,A limerick that rhymes,When things alwa--ooh, look, a kitty
phred posted a discussion topic 15 years, 2 months ago
Wilf - A leprechaun, Seamus O'Edilf,Had a lisping half-brother named Wilf.Seamus read him a slick,But obscene limerick.Said Wilf, "That is absolute filf!"
phred posted a discussion topic 15 years, 2 months ago
May/December romance--- - A young virgin bestowed her consent,On an octogenarian gent,But the night they were wed,He was dead in their bed.What had happened? He came, and he went!
phred posted a discussion topic 15 years, 2 months ago
Sci-fi fan??? - Young Skywalker's caught in a pother,Of feelings that fluster and bother.He's stunned for a while,(Anagnorisis-style)When Darth Vader says, "Luke, I'm your father!"
phred posted a discussion topic 15 years, 2 months ago
Tapas? - You know tapas? They're tiny but yummy,And my children concur that they're nummy.These delices slip,From my lip to my hip,And have added a pooch to my tummy!
phred posted a discussion topic 15 years, 2 months ago
Ring, ring, ring! - Sam Spade, the old private detective,Is stewing and hurling invective.Though his iPhone's in style,There's no rotary dial,And Sam thinks the damn thing's defective!
phred posted a discussion topic 15 years, 2 months ago
VSG analysis!!! - I fear that my : is swollen,So my surgeon's cajolin', extollin'A procedure to cut,Away half of my gut,Which would leave but a mere ;!
phred posted a discussion topic 15 years, 2 months ago
Think about it! - On the moors Kelly walked in a daze, There she'd bark at the moon and the haze, Still her friends weren't concerned, For by now they had learned, Once a month she would go through ...
phred posted a discussion topic 15 years, 3 months ago
Say what??? - We caught the tread of dancing feet,We loitered down the moonlit street,And stopped beneath the harlot's house.Inside, above the din and fray,We heard the loud musicians playThe "T...
phred posted a discussion topic 15 years, 4 months ago
A waist is a terrible thing to mind --- - It's a problem you've frequently faced:You begin only taking a taste.Soon you're gorging on snacks,Watching corpulence wax.Did you fear it was going to waist?
