penelope78

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5/26/06
Had an endoscopy today, blech. The drugs were fun though. I have a hiatial hernia and GERD. Duh. Isn't heartburn normal??? I have never known anything else. I feel like an 70 year old Jewish grandmother kvetching about my heartburn. OOOHhhhhh my heartburn! It is much funnier when you hear my impression, i promise.
Cost=$250 toward my deductible. Now it is completed, so that is good.

5/30/06
I called my PCP to see if he would pre-write a letter for me and he wouldn't! He wants to see me for an appointment abd charges $60 for the letter!! WHATEVS! I have a feeling this is going to be my holdup. He is my last appointment and his assistant said it takes around 2 weeks for the letter. I hope it doesn't go longer than that. Why can't this go faster!!!!!!

6/1/06
Appt w/dietician. I saw Sheryl Williams. She was nice. Very talkative and informative. She gave me a binder with all the info she went over. Told me to keep in touch, let her know when I get a date. She is very fast with getting the letter to the doc, hand delivered even.
Cost=$150 out of pocket that I am trying to get reimbursed for thru insurance.

6/2/06
Consult w/ Boone. I am a good candidate! Woo Hoo. I love Dr. Boone. He took my gallbladder out in an emergency surgery in 2003. Fantastic guy. He said I am young, healthy and should do great. I am so excited. I also found out I am 5' 6.25" sooo, shorter than I thought. My fat is weighing me down! Higher BMI though, which is good for insurance. He gave me a booklet with a bunch of info and a test I have to complete pre-surgery. Weight=267
Cost=$15 copay
My insurance said approval takes 3-5 working days. Here's to it all going smoothly. I am hoping to have surgery by August so I will be done by the time school starts. In other news, Dr. Boone told me that he only needs a little note saying my Doc approves of the surgery and he can write it on a Rx pad. Yay!

6/7/06
I was able to get an earlier appointment for my internist, so yay! Internist gave me a lab order and letter of support. My doc, Dr. Cecil Bullard gave me his full support and wrote a letter saying I was good to go. I also ordered my medical history to be sent to Dr. Boone.
Cost=$15 copay

6/12/06
OB/GYN appt for pap. Dr. Robert Maly gave me the go ahead and is 100% behind me. He thinks I will have great results due to my age and weight history. YAY! BTW he is the best OB/GYN ever. He even delivered me! It sounds wierd but is actually really cool. My mom totally trusts him and feels a lot better about the surgery with his support.
Cost=$15 copay

6/13/06
Had my blood drawn for TSH and fasting lipid profile today at 6am (ugh). Copies are being sent to Doc Boone and other docs. My cholesterol is super good. The nurse left me a message telling me to keep doing what I am doing. I bet she didn't look at my weight in my chart! Everything else was normal.
Cost=$15

6/14/06
Psych Eval with Dr. Rosik. It all went well. He said I am good to go. The only think that he will mention to Dr. Boone is my portion control issue. Duh dude, i eat too much. No shit. I think my doc knows that. I have everything done now! Psych doc said it should be in by next week.
Cost=$200 up front, office is billing insurance.

6/15/06
Now I wait. I am waiting on pap results, blood work, endoscopy reults (again) and psych to get to the office. Boone's office says they are scheduling surgery in the end of July as of right now. If all my paperwork gets into his office by June 23th and it takes a week to submit to insurance (6/30) and a week to hear back (7/7) barring any authorization complications I should have a surgery date for mid to late august. Keeping my fingers crossed!!! Once they have all my paperwork I am going to try and get a surgery date before they even submit to insurance, tell them I will pay out of pocket if I don't get approval. I just want a date!!!!!

6/19/06
All my paperwork is in except blood work and that damn endoscopy. I have had the GI office send it over twice and Boone says they still don't have it. I left a message with the insurance coordinator about a week ago and she hasn't called me back. I left another this morning so I hope that she finds the time. Ok. So now I am trying to be a zen master while I wait. If I think about it too much I get crazy anxious. On a good note, I am pretty much holding at 265. Not gaining is a good thing. I am 3 pounds away from my highest of 268 in march 2002. Grrrrrrr.
Weight=265

6/22/06
As of yesterday, all my paperwork is in to Boone. I had a hell of a time trying to get a hold of the girl who handles insurance. She will not call me back! I did get ahold of a really nice girl called Kerri who found my paperwork and put a note on it for the insurance girl to submit it asap. Sooooo we'll see, huh? I am going to start harassing people at Boone's office and my insurance on Tuesday. I am now scared that I will get denied. My bloodwork came back perfect, low cholesterol. Blood pressure is high end of normal. My only comorbids are gerd/hiatial hernia, and joint pain. I want a date!!!!!! Just approve me and get me a date, dammit! I need a valium or something, sucka!

6/23/06
My packet is going to insurance today!!!! WOO HOO!!! I finally got ahold of Christine at Dr. Boone's office. They had just had a seminar which is why she was behind on getting back to people. She said everything looks good and I meet all the criteria so I *should* get approved. I'll probably know by next week. After that she'll schedule me in. Boone is on vacation through the first week in July so my date will most likely be at the beginning of August. I can go in at a moments notice so she said i'll probably be able to have surgery even sooner. I am so close. I think I am going to pass out. How am I going to get through the weekend????? Good thing I'm on anxiety meds!!

6/26/06
My new life begins on July 19th 2006. I got a date!!!! I was approved this morning. Blue Shield got my packet on Friday and I was approved this morning! WOW. It hasn't even sunk in yet. I will have surgery at Fresno Heart Hospital at 7:30 AM. I have to be there by 5:30. The rooms are private, with plasma tv's and a pull out so someone can stay with you. Posh, eh. I will finally be a loser in only a few weeks. This is the kind of loser I can get behind. I am going to go to my storage unit this weekend and organize all of my clothes into different size classes. One good thing about being a compulsive shopper and dieter, I have a ton of cute clothes in every size. Seriously. I had to get a storage unit when I moved in with the BF because there was not enough room in our apartment for all of my clothes and shoes. I will totally still be out shopping though. It is my favorite addiction!

6/29/06
Less than 3 weeks until surgery. I have been up and down. I am very excited about the surgery and my adventure but also down about possible complications. I have been thinking a lot about my relationship with the BF. We are great right now. He is very sweet and supportive and always has been. I am scared that one of us may be unhappy with the outcome and our new life. I have read so many stories about people who split after surgery. I know we are strong and I have faith that whatever happens will be for the best, but there is still a teenie, nagging feeling. I cried in the shower yesterday morning and again last night while watching TV. I should probably try to avoid 'true stories of the er' and 'mystery diagnosis' on TLC. I am also reading a book called '90 minutes in heaven' or something like that. It is actually quite reassuring going into surgery. I let my catholicism fall by the wayside long ago but I am finding a new spiritual side due in large part to my boyfriend, impending surgery, and finally coming to terms with my father's death. I don't know if i will ever actually call myself a christian, but my faith and spirituality are stronger than ever. Onto another topic, I have been getting my list together of stuff for the hospital. PJ's, robe, pillow, chapstick, iPod, books, crosswords, sudoku, gameboy, non slip socks, face moisturizer, clearsil face wipes, face soap (don't want to come home with a huge breakout!) and hair things. I need constant entertainment or i will go crazy! My date is so close yet so far away. Ok. I just realized I am rambling. I hope some people are reading my story. It is helping me to write, i just hope i can help someone else!

7/8/06
In the past week or so I have gotten my approval letter from Blue Shield, confirmation from my surgeon and a call from the hospital for my basic info. At this point I am freaked out. I am so excited and so terrified at the same time. I feel like I am operating at some psychotic level that no one else can understand. I cannot relate to anyone!! So I have 11 days until surgery. So close yet so far away. I have to pay the surgeon $200 by my pre-op on 7/14/06. I also have to give the hospital $200. My total estimated cost at the hospital is $1300. That is 10% of my contracted rate. We'll see if it is more. I have a max out of pocket of $2000 so I won't pay any more than that. I am so scared. I am so nervous. I am so excited. I don't think i'll succeed. I know i'll be successful. I HATE THIS!!!!!! It's like the Doppler effect or something. Everything gets slower and louder as it gets closer, faster and further as it comes up and goes away. I am not even going to post until after surgery. Unless something good happens. I am going to get a cute build-a-bear in a robe and jammies (how nerdy!) for the hospital. Ok. I am off. It is 1:30am and i gotta sleep!

7/14/06
I am off to see the wizard today for my pre-op testing. Can I mention how much stuff I have been buying to get ready for my surgery? I am a total shopping addict. I am also feeling HUGE! I feel like I am 9 months pregnant, waddling around. I am actually wearing maternity jeans (just elastic in the back, not the full panel). I hope I don't get in trouble for gaining a little. I usually watch what I eat and maintain but I have been eating all my favorites and drinking ENTIRELY too much rockstar. I am a freaking energy drink addict. No more of those for me. As of tomorrow I am in the final stretch. I am going to practice for my post-op life. Mmmmmm.....protein drinks. Yeah, we'll see how that goes. I am totally excited. My pre-op is at 3:00. After today I have 4 days until surgery. I am not going to get any sleep for the next four days. I have so much to do! It doesn't help that the BF has a fractured foot either. I can just see us both, lying in bed whining, no one to help. HA. Okely dokely boys and girls. I am not sure if i'll post again before surgery. If not, i'll see ya on the other side, sucka! Keep it clever!
Pre-op testing= $76.50

7/17/06
OK. I just wanted to talk about my pre-op testing in case anyone is curious. I arrived at Dr. Boone's office at 3:00, took a test based on a booklet I was given at my consult and weighed in. I gained 10 pounds since my consult. Not a surprise. My BF and I met with Dr boone. He just went over what will happen before and after surgery. I cannot eat as of midnight tonight. Only fluids and jello. He went over which meds i can take and wrote me a Rx for vicodin, an acid reducer and an anti-nausea med to be filled and ready at home after discharge. I will only be in the hospital 1-2 days. He said 50% of patients go home the next day and the other half the day after that. Then I was sent of the Fresno Heart Hospital to get blood drawn and give a urine sample. I also met with a respiratory therapist to learn how to use the incentive spirometer and a nurse who went over everything else. I have to wash from neck to thigh with cleanser stuff tuesday night and wednesday a.m. No lotions, makeup, etc. Be there at 5:30 A.M.!!! She took my medical history and gave me a folder with an advance directive, and other paperwork for reference. So today I am enjoying my last day of food (eating VERY light per doc's orders). I am living in a twilight. It is the only way I can explain it. I am so very excited. I bought a pair of "goal jeans" in a size 6 (!) that were only $10 on clearance. It is my ultimate goal but if i don't meet it, i will be okay. I just want to be in single digits!
Some goals:
Fit into....the many pairs of size 20's i have that are too tight
          ....size 16 Gap jeans I always wore when I lived in Santa Cruz and in senior year in high school
          ....size 14's that I haven't worn since sophmore/junior year
          ....size 13 juniors. Haven't worn since 8th/9th grade
from there it is uncharted territory. I know i had size 30 guess jeans in 6th grade which are like a 9/10.

So here I go. I see y'all on the flip-side.

7/21/06
I am alive, home and feeling yucky! Can't bring myself to post too much. I'll fill in details later.

7/21/06
Well, I went to the hospital at 5:30 am. I got checked in, changed into a ginormous gown and waited. I was poked and prodded by a few nurses. IV started, vitals taken, etc. Then the sleepy-time doc came in as well as my surgeon. Before I knew it I was headed off into surgery. I only remember getting on the table and then, bam, lights out. When I woke I was in A LOT of pain. My abdomen was killing me. I just wanted drugs! Eventually I was moved into recovery. After a bit I got up and walked around (about 2 hours after surgery). Then my BF and mom came up and saw me. The first night was no fun. I was using my pain pump but the reglan for anti-nausea made me itch and I couldn't sleep. I felt like crap! The next day was restless, sleeping off and on, hoping to be discharged. Unfortunately, I was not given my anti-depressants and was told not to take them the day before surgery. By the day after surgery I was an emotional mess. I take effexor and it is serious stuff. You really can't miss doses. I finally got discharged (with some hassling from my BF who is an expert at hospitals and docs) and went home to my own bed. HEAVEN! I slept the rest of yesterday and woke up early today. I have been keeping busy. I feel like I have ADD. I cannot sit still for very long. I am doing well now. I am getting my liquids in and meds with no adverse reactions so far. Of course I HAD to weigh, I am at 268 today. Down from 272 pre-op. I'll keep y'all posted.
Cost= $1337.50 (my 10% of contracted rate)

7/22/06
As I today I am feeling pretty darn good. I have taken a couple of showers and cleaned up a bit. My weird eye-blurry issue is gone. I am thinking it was just from the anethesia. I am able to swallow my effexor, vicodin and protonix without too much trouble. I am snapping the vicodin in half and that works out well. I am living on SF jello (peach is yummy!), SF popsicles and home made chicken broth (thanks to the BF) as well as peach tea crystal light and some off-brand SF lemonade. The single dose packets you can add to water are wonderful! My doc doesn't have us do protein shakes as he says they slow weight loss. We can use them as a meal replacement down the road though. He also doesn't have us start vitamins until about the third week. I am just taking essentials right now. I cleaned all the adhesive off of my tummy and the redness from the bandages has really gone down. Just steri-strips now. I am only feeling pressure/swelling time pain in the belly, like I used to feel after a really big meal. Nothing too uncomfortable. I have been sleeping on my stomach too. Unfortunately I am a hard-core stomach sleeper and i cannot sleep any other way. This is one reason why overnight hospital trips are difficult for me!

7/24/06
Hello boys and girls! I am feeling pretty darn good. The steri-strips on 2 of my incisions came off and it is not too pretty. I am afraid that the one above my belly button will split open. Yuck! Have to be very careful. I am going back to work tomorrow. I don't think I can stay home another day. I am obsessively cleaning house. So far I have had a couple soft foods to see how I would do. I had a slice of pepper jack cheese, a SF pudding, a not quite full shot glass of tuna and mayo and a SF fudgecicle. All went down well! I am drinking TONS of fluids. I just realized something. I think my dream size is a 6 because I used to read 'Sweet Valley High" and in every book the author mentioned the twins were a perfect size six. Funny, huh? How little things from your youth effect you all of your life. I am weighing in at 263.5 as of this morning. So that is 8.5lbs down in 5 days. Cool. I am still amazed that I am down every morning. I am so used to being the same or up. It is hard to believe.

7/28/06
I had my first post-op appointment w/Dr. Boone yesterday. He said everything looks good. Down 14lbs according to his scales which means I have lost 10% of my extra weight! This puts my goal at 135. I would LOVE to be 135 but I think that may look too thin on my frame. We shall see if I can even get close. He said that I will probably lose 65-70% which puts me at 177-184. I am shooting for more like 145-150. He also said that people rarely loose 100%. That kinda sucks. I am offically on a soft diet now. I had pintos and cheese from Taco Bell after I left and they were sooooooo good. I made thin mashed potatoes for dinner. 2 small russet and 2 small yukon gold mashed up with some sour cream and butter, salt and pepper. It is so much better now that I can have these kinds of foods. I am still probably barely breaking 500-600 calories a day but I feel good! I have to do soft foods for two weeks. I have an appointment on 8/10 to see if i can move on to the next stage which is pretty much everything except meats (potted meats and tuna, etc. are okay.) Ok. Gotta get working!

8/3/06
I have been way busy at work. End of month sucks! I am doing good. Down to 253.5 as of this morning. My clothes are fitting better for sure. My boobs are still ginormous though. I went to buy a more comfortable bra today. Size 44DDD. Those puppies are not easy to find.

8/7/06
Hello! I am down 22 lbs now. Right at 250. My BMI is hovering at 40.4. Cannot wait for it to get below 40. My angelette Sharon just got her surgery date and I am super excited for her. Waiting is the hardest part. Oh yeah, the pain too. That passes though. I am feeling good. Hitting my low energy levels right now but it seems to be right on schedule at 3 weeks out (almost). My next appt with Boone is thursday and i should be able to move on to everything but steak, chicken and stuff like that. I want to get a hamburger right after my appointment. Well, half at least, with no bun of course. I can already see a difference. My face thins out pretty fast as well as my waist and hips. Once i get into the 220's i am comfortable and have tons of clothes. Looking forward to that. I am getting in some sort of exercise or physical activity at least 3 days a week. I can't use my abs too much. Still sore. I forgot to mention it before but while i was in the hospital this teeny tiny nurse who was helping me walk around asked why i had surgery because i wasn't very large. My GI doc also said this previously. Um. Thanks? Is that a compliment? Both these women are small and asian. When the nurse asked i didn't know what to say. I mean, i already had the surgery. Obviously I wanted it because i was fat. Whatever. The GI doc was totally against me having it. I have only seen her a couple times and I wanted an endoscopy for my surgeon so I was just like, whatever. She called my the other day and seemed pissed that I had the surgery. It is all kinda lame.

8/10/06
Today is my 3 week post-op with my surgeon. I am sitting at 250 and not moving. I am at the tail end of my aunt Dot though. I am pretty bummed out today. My bike got stolen out of our garage early this morning. Sucks. I hate Fresno. Eveything gets stolen or broken into. I was really looking forward to riding as it gets cooler. No fancy bike for me next time. I am getting an $80 cruiser from Target instead of a $400 Trek. Whatevs. Fresno blows. I am having a little pity party because I am losing slow right now. I know it is the typical newbie bs paranoia. Of course i figured i'd be immune. Nope. Ok. I feel like shit. I'm gonna go work some more. Here's to the 240's!

8/12/06
I had the worst night last night. I don't know if i ate too fast or too much but i got nauseous to the point where I needed to throw up and......nothing comes out. You just dry heave for a while. After that I crawled to my b/f and had him get me a nausea pill and i laid in the hallway waiting for my heart to stop racing. It was beating like crazy, abnormal, unsteady beats. Whoa. That was not fun. On a good note, I am down to 246.5! My BMI is offically out of the 40's. No longer morbidly obese! YAY! My incisions are healing pretty well. I have been putting mederma on them every day. For the most part I feel pretty damn good. I have been getting a workout together from bodybuilding.com that seems doable. I think it will really help with toning underneath my fat to minimize skin issues and maximize results. For cardio I am doing high intensity interval training. It is the best. You work hard for a shorter period of time. Check out bodybuilding.com if you are interested in finding out more. It is the best for losing fat and getting your cardiovascular system optimized and your metabolism maximized!

8/21/06
My one month anniversary was saturday. I am still hovering at 246. Love those plateaus huh? I am feeling a little panicky about not losing but I know it is normal. Nothing new to report, really. I ate a couple bites of steak last night. Went down with no problem. I only have problems when I let myself get too hungry and eat too fast. Fettucini alfredo did me in last week. Hopefully I have learned my lesson. I did learn that I do not dump on sugar. Need to be careful with that bit of info. I have been sick for the past week and I am finally feeling better today. School starts in one week and the last thing I need is a cold.

9/6/06
Hey there. I am so stressed right now. I finally started losing again, which is awesome. I am around 241-242 right now at 7 weeks out or so. so 30 down from my starting weight of 272 (after my liquid diet) and from 275 (doc starting weight). I feel good. I have been going out to eat and feeling normal for the most part. There is so nothing to report. I wish I had more to say but......i don't. I still feel like a super fat ass in class when i have to sit in auditorium seating and the class is full. I swear people are hoping that I don't sit by them. Unfortunately my class before is clear across campus and i only have 10 minutes. Class is totes full by the time i get there. It is a nutrition class, btw. Irony? I don't know. My professor is super cool though. She councils pre and post op bariatric patients so she is sympathetic. I told her about my surgery because we have to enter our own diets and analyze them and i was concerned about the obvious deficencies (sp?) in my diet. She is cool though. A little extra poundage herself. Life is good. Old pants are starting to fit. My boobies are starting to droop and guys are looking me in the eye again. Loves it!

9/27/06
What's up ninjas? I am at 233.5 as of this am. so 41.5lbs down at 10 weeks out. I am not losing super fast but it is steady. My hips are still slow to lose. They are keeping me from my next size down in pants! My angelette Sharon M had her surgery last week. She is doing great! I visited her at the hospital and her roomie was, well, annoying. Poor Sharon! I did get to meet her hottie husband and adorable son! Lucky girl she is. I got her a post-op gift pack that contained a teeny tiny g-string that has a little piggy's backside where the string connect. Sooooo cute. I know she will be prancing around the house in that in no time! I also went to a lunch with other WLS folks. Got to meet a lot of inspiring people. They were all gorgeous. Well, that is all for now. I am still working my ass off with school and work. I am looking so forward to this weekend (even though I have an all day sat. class). I need to do laundry. Ta-ta for now.