Amy C.
11/21/05 I had my first seminar with the Nurse Practitioner @ Albany Medical Center. Also met with the clinical nutritionist, a medical pharmacologist, and had a general physical. I weighed in at 301.25 pounds. At the seminar, the nutritionist explained that in order to have the surgery with Dr. Singh/Rosatti, a 10% weight loss had to be achieved prior to being given a surgery date. She handed out copies of the Mediterranean diet (low carb, low fat) and gave us a calorie range to stay within. I hate the idea of dieting, but it's been about 3 weeks and I've lost over 11 pounds, and I am feeling very motivated to have the surgery, so I guess I'll do what I have to do to get there. I have another appointment to work with the Medical Nutritionist on November 30th. I have researched this surgery to pieces. I've read at least 5 books, spoken to folks who've had a variety of WLSs and a variety of experiences with the surgeries, I've read hours of research articles on WLS. I am an RN and I think I know more than I ought to and that scared me away for a while, but I feel at this point that I have come to an understanding in myself that this is the best solution for me. (I plan to have the RNY proximal). More later. 12/13/05 I have decided to change my surgeon to Dr. Rosatti (as opposed to Dr. Singh) because he does the open RNY and I feel that this will be best for me. I have already attended both required educational seminars, and will be attending my first support group this week some time...although I have to say I have gotten so much support for OH members on the Forums already! I have to lose 10% of my original weight and I've lost 19 out of 30 pounds so far. It feels really good to be successful, but I would never be able to keep up if I didn't know I was preparing to get the "tool" that will help me get the rest off and keep it off. I am finding that as I become less dysfuncitonal around eating behavior, I am less tolerant of other people's dysfunctional behaviors. Downright cranky in fact! I guess that's part of the process.... 1/14/06 Up until Christmas, I was steadily losing my pre op weight. I reached 20 out of the 30 pounds I had to lose. Between holiday parties, food at the office and a few other factors, I gained back 2-3 pounds and then despite getting back on track, couldn't seem to make the scale budge any further down. Well today, after cutting out all bread, pasta, rice, etc for a few days, I woke up to a 3.5 pound weight loss! Yahooo! I've got 9 more pounds to go until I can make an appointment with Dr. Rosatti and hopefully schedule a surgery date. I hope I can lose it quickly. One small thing...all this weight loss recently has messed up my monthly cycle and that's a little wierd. I took a pregnancy test just to make sure....thank goodness, it was negative. Anyway, I guess this is just indicative of all the changes I'll be finding on down the road of WLS.... :-) 2/12/06 I have two more pounds to go and I will have reached the 10% pre op weight loss. Each ounce off seems like it takes a month. I have cut out all bread, potatoes, rice, pasta. I am eating fruit, veggies, protein, and water, water, water...I am exercising at least 5x a week. I have the feeling like my body is saying, "are you sure about losing more weight? You've done this so many times before..." I hope that the surgery weight loss is a bit swifter than pre operatively. I am trying to concentrate on how much better I feel, even with the 28 pounds lost, and increased exercise (and endurance), but underneath, I really just want to get to the 30 pound mark and schedule surgery! Tick tock tick tock... 2/20/06 I had a good day today. I have been having the darndest time getting off the last 10 pounds required for a pre-op weight loss (I had to lose 30) and finally reached it this morning. I went up to the Medical Nutritionist's office today for an "official weigh in" and it turns out I lost 34 pounds! Yowee! I wasn't expecting that! As I was leaving her office, I saw my surgeon (who I haven't actually met yet, but just recognized from photos) walking from the parking garage and introduced myself and told him I just reached my 10% wt loss today and that I was going to be one of his patients. He said, "cool!" which I thought was so REAL of him! How serrendipitous (sp?) to have run into him just after reaching my pre op goal weight! Anyway, the Nutritionist wasn't in today, but will be notified that I reached my goal weight and then will call me to set up my first consult with the surgeon. Once I meet with him, I'll get a date set. All in all, a "cool" day! 3/22/06 My husband and I met with Dr. Rosati yesterday. He spent nearly 3 hours reviewing every imaginable aspect of the surgery with us, answering all of our questions patiently and thoroughly. He drew diagrams, discussed statistics, discussed his own personal views, as well as his professional views. Throughout the meeting, he remained, gentle, kind, affable, and most of all patient. Is was an exhillirating and exhausting experience! My surgery date is finally scheduled for April 27th, 2006. I'm really quite scared, but I imagine this is to be expected. I have several tests (doppler's of my legs to check for clots, a cardiac stress test, and pre op testing) to do prior to surgery. I will be taking 6 weeks off from work, and my supervisor has arranged for me to do "light duty" nursing (desk) work for the first two weeks that I'm back, which has the possibility of actually becomming a new job for me if it "fits". Many changes coming up. I can hardly think of anything else!!! 4/7/6 Since my date was scheduled (April 27th), a few things have been accomplished: I had doppler's of my legs (all clear), I had a cardiac consult (all clear), and last night I got my...drum roll please...INSURANCE APPROVAL!!!! I was so anticipating a fight with insurance and had to read the letter twice to realize that I had been approved! That's the good news. The other news (not necessarily bad) is that I have been struggling with emotional eating and could use some support from you guys. I feel like it's partly nerves, partly last-supper-syndrome, and partly feeling in limbo between having strictly dieted to lose the pre op weight, and wanting to try to "eat reasonably" and maintain the loss, and not really succeeding (I've gained about 4 pounds...) The last thing I want to do is start gaining again, but I've lost momentum and am having trouble getting back on track. I realized something today: The surgery itself takes control away from you temporarily. What you used to do, you no longer can. I guess the idea is that you relearn control, with the use of the tool that the surgery creates, in a whole new way. I'm in a limbo now. No tool, just about to give up control in a big way. Kinda scary!!! Anyway, learn as you live... 5/6/06 I made it through surgery in one piece, and aside from a temp which lasted a little too long (but eventually resolved), I did well. I am happy with my jello and chicken broth and my dining room recliner. I never knew such small things would be so wonderful! I am Relieved with a capital R !!! Will write more when I have more energy. 5/15/06 Tomorrow makes 2 weeks since my surgery. Hard for me to believe, it feels like yesterday. The best part about tomorrow is that I advance from a clear liquid diet to a pureed diet...I am relishing each thimble-sized meal of protein packed power like a newly discovered gem. I have had the energy level of a doorknob since I've been home, and I'm hoping that beyond the pure joy of texture, flavor, and substance, that my new mini dose of nutrition will boost my energy level a bit. I "get" the whole virtue of clear liquids and healing yadda yadda, but bring on the cream of chicken soup (made with skim milk, of course)! I have lost 22 pounds since my arrival home (including 6 pounds of IV fluid weight I put on in the hospital)...So there's a massive pay off so far for a relatively small price to pay. So far so good! Including pre op weight loss, I've taken off 46 pounds so far! Wow! 5/19/06 I tried tuna fish today...with the most infintessimal amout of light mayo. Three bites and I started having SEVERE pain in my poor lil' post operative pouchy. Scared the bejesus out of me. I felt like I wanted to barf but I was scared I would rupture the internal sutures so I called the Doc's office. The nurse wasn't available but the receptionist (god bless her) told me that I should go ahead and let loose and that I'd feel better. She told me that this is a period of trial and error and that "purging" would relieve the pain. ....so I did, and she was right! Thank God!!!!!! I have always been afraid to puke, but with a new post operative anatomy, I was petrified. I feel so much better now and know for the next time around (I'm no fool, I know there'll be a next time!) that I should just go ahead an heave ho... A little barfing lesson for a newbie post op... More than you wanted to know?? The down deep and dirty of WLS recovery.... 5/23/06 I reached 251 today. That's 20 pounds since surgery (3 weeks ago) and 50 pounds lost including pre op weight loss. Wow! I do definitely feel the difference. My rings are too big, my clothes are too big, my arms come in closer to my body, my waistline is slowly returning, I don't get as winded coming up stairs, I am starting to feel my bones again (!), my face looks thinner....wow. Wow. 6/4/6 Time for whining...I am doing ok except for a few things. First, I am having real signs of anemia (fatigue, weakness, dizziness, restless legs at night) and I had blood work drawn last week to test every conceivable thing...I am still waiting on results. I developed thrush and a yeast infection a few weeks after surgery and went through 2 courses of diflucan and started on acidophilus to rid myself of this irritating predicament. I finally got rid of the thrush and yeast infection and then developed a Urinary Tract Infection (watch out me, here comes the thrush and yeast infection again). To top this off, I have not really been losing weight like a champ. Over the past three weeks I might have lost 5 pounds. I know, I know, it's 5 less, my body is adjusting, the infections, and possible anemia slow things down, but I just feel like I'm beat up and have nothing to show for it. Not entirely true, but I'm feeling that way now.... Eating has been an exercise in fear. I've already thrown up twice, once with tunafish, and the other time with chicken. Not like I'm gobbling down Doritos or anything. So I'm scared to death to try anything new. Just don't want to feel $h---ty any more. Speaking of $h-t, I'm constipated, taking 2 colace a day, the citrucel my doc reccomended is a big gag me with a spoon event. There you have it. I'm feeling defeated and used up. There, I've spilled it out. Now if anyone can find me a better attitude, I sure could use it!!! 9/5/6 I am plateauing again! Arrgh! Just when I think I'm starting to break this plateau (which has been about 4-5 weeks now), I stall. I have lost a total of 83 pounds (53 since surgery) and I know it's great, I know I couldn't have done it as fast without surgery, I am thrilled with it, but for about a month, the weight loss has slowed to a crawl. I am quite sure I had been protein deficient, because only recently was I able to break past a vegetarian diet and tolerate things like fish, eggs, and ground beef (in chili), and I also had my labs drawn and I'm slightly deficient in Zinc too....I am SURE these things are adding to it. My menstrual cycle has run a muc completely. I'm 4 months out now and would like to see a bigger loss. I'm exercising at least 30 minutes every day, most days I get 7-8 glasses of water in. I'm not eating crap. I'm doing EVERYTHING RIGHT, and while I feel good about that and want to put new healthy behaviors in place, I also want to keep shedding pounds!!! I've got another 60-70lbs to go!! On the other hand, I can cross my legs, my endurance has vastly improved, I get compliments many times each day from friends, family, and co-workers, I am down from a size 26/28 to a size 16/18, I don't feel like I stand out in a crowd anymore...I am just a normal person, I feel so good about all this. I know that this surgery has given me just what I need in order to succeed at weight loss, and hopefully, by practicing healthy eating and exercise behaviors now, I can really start to prepare for a lifetime of continued success at weight loss and finally weight maintenance. This surgery is definitely not the easy way out...it is the most challenging thing I have ever done...but it sure has helped launch me into a weight category I thought I'd never see again. 9/10/06 I posted a few days ago about plateauing for over a month. I may have broken it this morning. I'm down to 215.5 after hovering around 218 for weeks and weeks. I don't trust the scale! Two things that have changed over the past few days: I started taking a Zinc supplement per nutritionist reccomendation ( I was slightly defficient based on my last labs) and my tolerance for protein has increased, so I am finally able to eat chicken (and fish and eggs too!). I think my body might have been in starvation mode due to malnutrition. Hopefully, I can start losing regularly again. We'll see....
10/15/06
207lbs today. My weight loss is starting to slow down. I'm elated every time I see downward movement of the scale, but it definitely is not as rapid as it had been in the beginning. I have also been losing a lot of hair over the past 6-8 weeks, but I cut it short, so it doesn't look wimpy yet. Every time I go to work, see my family, see my friends, run into neighbors in the supermarket, I get borraged with positive feedback on my weight loss. I admitedly look like a new person, but it's blatant to me when I see and hear people's reactions. It definitely keeps me going in between one pound lost and another. At those times when I am frustrated or disappointed at the slowing down of my weight loss, I'll go in to work and 5 people will come up to me in the course of a day and tell me how "terrific" I look, and in that moment, all my dissapointment melts away and I just feel plain ol' good! I have another 67 pounds to lose. I know some of that will get removed when I get around to doing plastic surgery for skin removal. Nonetheless, the weight loss is not nearly over and the lessons learned along the way will hopefully help me keep it off once I get there.
10/25/06
205 pounds today. I started this journey one year ago just before Thanksgiving. At that time, I was just starting to work on my 10% pre op weight loss and last Thanksgiving I was very mindful of what I was eating, but yet I enjoyed my meal. I ended up losing weight that week. Wow. Now I am 96 pounds less and feel and look like a new person. There is nothing that would be offered on a Thanksgiving table that could replace the joy I feel at the changes I've made to body and soul. This thanksgiving, instead of feeling cheated that I can't eat myself into a sad little stupor, I will be so immensely grateful for the sustinance that this surgery has enriched my life with.
11/12/06
It's official! I've lost 100.5 pounds. It feels like I've been working to arrive at this forever and today the scale finally relented and showed me a 100 lb weight loss. What a ONEderful life this is. One more pound and I'll be in ONEderland. Then, I'll have to cry with joy.
11/17/06
198.5! I did it! I am dancin' in ONEderland! I don't remember the last time I was under 200 pounds. I think it must have been before I was married.
OMG! I am so freakin' thrilled! ONEderous, ONEderful, ONEderland. Yahoo!
12/13/06
Yesterday we had our Christmas Party at work and I discovered how much my new pouch can handle. I ate more in one afternoon than I do in any usual day. Of course, today I was up one pound. I'm getting back on track, about to go for my daily 35 minute treadmill romp, but the experience scared me. I even ate some sugary stuff and didn't have even the most remote dumping experience. I am seven months post op and realizing that now the challange of tolerance is comin' at me strong and fast. I can tolerate most foods, my pouch is expandable to a reasonable size. It's on me to take on the demons that got me to 301.25 pounds in the first place, using the tool that was skillfully crafted for me by Dr Rosati's artful hand, and reject my past behaviors. Woof! Scarey!
5/3/07: Long time no post! One year post op as of yesterday 5/20/07. Wow and what a year it's been! Since surgery I'm down 80 pounds, 110 including pre op 30. I'm off Lipitor, I'm exercising almost every day, I used to wear 26/28, down now to 14/16. I live in ONEderland now, down from Threederland. I feel so good about what this surgery has done for my life. I still have more to lose (maybe another 30), but it's doable now and before surgery it was a laughable idea to think of successfully losing weight.So yippee for me!!! I wish all you newbies the best of luck and send heartfelt thanks to all those who have supported me thus far. What a wonderful ride!!!
7/15/07
Long time no post, I know. I have been travelling on a personal journey of one-year post op plateauing, and a few minor health issues, which has been distracting and demoralizing, but I am on the upswing again, and wanted to share a personal discovery with my dear OH friends in case any of you are finding yourself in a similar position.About 6 months post op, my weight loss slowed down to a dull roar. By 10 months, I was done! I looked into malabsorption deficiencies, exercise habits, eating habits (more on that), hormonal imbalance, and many other possibilites as the reason behind the sudden stop in my weight loss. I wasn't done yet! How could my body not want to lose more weight when I was watching what I ate, exercising, drinking water, etc.?I joined Weight Watchers, and despite journaling, weighing, measuring, and planning, I only lost 3 pounds in 6 weeks. Very demoralizing! I was used to the scale moving down at lightning speed (after WLS), but while I understood that even tho this wouldn't happen now, why wasn't it coming off faster than it was? Such sacrifice too! Sound familiar?I was in a terrible rut. I'm planning a tummy tuck, and really wanted to get more of the weight off first. Now comes the part where I sound like an advertisement: I really don't mean to, but I had a stunning revelation, and I want to put it out there: I tried the South Beach Diet. High protein, high fiber, good fats in limited quantities, no carbs (bread, fruit, pasta, rice, potatoes, and some veggies). This first week, I dropped....drum roll please.....10 pounds! What?Obviously, my heart is singing for my success, but the big whammo lesson for me is how potently influencial carbs are in the chemistry of weight loss and maintenance. When we sign up for WLS, we make a commitment to changing our lives, but one year post op, I'm still learning how to do that. Eventually, I'll wean a light carb diet into the current one (per the South Beach Diet plan), but I am coming from a new strategy level with the idea that when weight starts to creep up, or I'm having trouble losing: check the carb intake.
12/19/07 I have lost 130 pounds. I have made many massive changes to my life and style of living. Since September, my husband and I separated. We had been in therapy and it got to the point where I realized that he was just not willing to make changes along with the ones I had made and commit to a more psychologically and physically healthy lifestyle. So he moved out. I tried and tried, sad as it may be, to convince him to reconsider. Then I finally realized that I have made a stand for myself for a better life. One in which I am committed to my own well being. My ex-husband has clearly chosen not to be a part of that.
That being said, I have to say that as painful as this has been for me, I would have the surgery again in a heartbeat. It was the only way I could to find health and well-being. I am sure, in the long-run, I am better off having this man out of my life. It is very hard, and very sobering, but I am still thrilled that I have chosen health over unwellness.
WLS is a major commitment, not only to changing lifestyle, but also to the consequences that follow. I feel like I am starting to get on board with that, and I just wanted to share it with all of you that have been my friends throughout all this, and those who are new to the process. The change is miraculous, but intense. Again, I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
4/29/08
On May 2nd I will be two years post op and what a two years it's been! Here are all the things that happened in my past two years. I:
*lost 130 pounds
*was able to resume physical activity like I hadn't in years
*regained self-esteem which I hadn't felt in years
*developed a tumor on my right ovary, which was benign but needed to be removed
*had the ovary removed plus a tummy tuck
*separated from a 16 year abusive marriage
*was launched into premature menopause
*started my master's degree to become a nurse practitioner
* regained 10 pounds
I am only just realizing what massive changes this surgery has inspired in my life. While it's been grueling and very painful, I would do it again in a heartbeat. WLS has enabled me to reclaim myself in a way in which I was not successful otherwise. The tool that WLS provides gave me a leg up on a lifelong struggle with obesity. The results have been fantastic and very hard. This is not a free ride, by any means. You have to be ready to commit yourself to personal change in a big way, but if you're ready to take that on, it's a powerful tool and does assist with both physical change and inspire emotional change (if you're open to it).
I look at pictures of myself two years ago and see a very different person than I am today. My hope is that I can continue to learn about the ways in which I am dysfunctional and continue to grow and change.
I consider myself very lucky.
