Nurse343

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currently 170 yeah

oh my goodness i cant believe it has been a year!  It has been slow going but thats all good its at least still going down.  I am trying to always have a PMA (positive mental attitiude about this.  Currently I am 190 so  i am happy under 200 is always a good thing.  I have noticed many people (men usually) giving me the eye.  Boy does that feel good.  The other day my daughter (who is 17) and i were driving to the store and 2 guys were smiling and waving at us boy that felt good haven't had that happen in a long time.  I also went out dancing with my girlfriends haven't done that in a long time due to embarassment and it was so fun.  I am so pumped up now i even ordered a new workout called slim in 6 supposed to help tone and sculpt.  I also went into the lane bryant and noted i wear the smallest size in the store that was a shocker.  So for all of you who feel like giving up dont its a long journey but well worth it.

after the last fill i have managed to loose down to 199 hoping its gonna continue.  Disappointed in myself due to the slow wt loss but it will get there

went to the doctor a couple weeks ago due to the GERD and dec restriction.  He said when he checked I only had 7cc in my band ok well where did the other 1cc go that I was supposed to have.  So he said he put in another 1/2 cc donno if i believe that cause I really think he took some out due to the decrease in restriction i feel?  I think he took it out to try AND MAKE  me more comfortable with the reflux.  But my problem is little restriction little wt loss.  donno what to do

10/23 went to the doctor had my last fill hopedfully I am at 8cc in a 10cc band.  i have only lost 33 lbs in 6 months I feel like a loser and not the good kind feeling discouraged and down.

hopefully my last fill 7cc slow going but I am there

today i have been crying alot.  I took a shower and my hair is still falling out not in strands but clumps big ones.  I noticed on the back of my head you can see the scalp through my hair.  I have long dark hair so the white scalp is easy to see with some hair loss. 

today I had my 3rd fill.  I still hate the feeling of it hehe.  I had 1cc so a total of 6.4cc hopefully this will give me the restriction I need.  I am not doing to bad so far will see though. 

Well today I had my second fill I am currently at 5.4cc in a 10cc band.  I still cant get used to the way it feels when they fish around with the needle to find the port.   Almost makes me a little nauseated with all the fishin around thank goodness for lidocaine. 

I was going through the photos and just realized something.  I am almost completly missing from my family's life.  I have always hidden behind the camera and the pics I find are not good ones because I am not really happy about being photographed.  except the ones  I found after my first wls in 1995 i was always smiling esp in 1996,97,98 those were my good years then the wt started coming back.