Me vs. The Demon - Final Showdown

Dec 28, 2009

20 years ago I went to Jenny Craig and got to my lowest weight since I had children.. 209 pounds.  Due to financial reasons, I had to quit going to Jenny Craig and instead of utilizing what I had learned to finally get back under 200 - I ballooned back up to 301 pounds (my highest weight ever.

10 years ago when I got on the scale and saw that terrifying number, I decided to put myself on a "common sense" diet.  No drive thrus.  No vending machines.  I did the Richard Simmons "Sweating to the Oldies" video every other day.  I drank less pop, ate less.  I lost 60 pounds and was down to 220 pounds.  Then I ballooned back up again.

As I was shoving yet another cookie in my face (ok maybe 3 or 4 a day but that is 3 or 4 too many) - it occured to me, that I was 3 pounds away from my lowest weight since almost high school. 

209 is a HUGE hurdle for me, perhaps more than achieving Onederland will be.. I am so afraid that I will sabotage myself yet again.. that for some crazy reason, I will not allow myself to have this victory. 

Thursday it was so quiet at work so I went to the gym downstairs and did 35 minutes on the elyptical.. I went to the gym on Saturday and kicked my own butt on cardio and did my weights.. I packed my lunch today and pre-made dinner for tonight and am going to the gym on the way home.

It's me against the demon - one final time.. I am not going down without a fight this time.  I'm going to fight with everything I have...

And dammit.. this time I am going to win!

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