mwarren

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I have been noticing that I no longer shy away from talking about my weight.  I used to always feel like I was the reason people would make comments about over weight people - sort of like what they said was directed at me and they just used someone else as a cover up.  I'd always avoid discussing weight or anything about myself that I saw as a defect.

Now that I've lost 45 pounds I find myself actually speaking more often about diet and control and exercise and admitting how much more I'd like to lose.  Guess I'm comfortable about it now.  Also more people seem to talk to me - I've decided before I looked too difficult to get to know  now I'm more accepting.  Funny how things appear differently when confidence builds and one finally feels good about self.

Tomorrow I go back to the doctor.  Don;t know if I'll get a fill or not.  I have been struggling with "snacking" when I'm not hungry, am still eating too fast and having PB's and throwing up some.  Don't know if it's what I'm trying to eat or if I'm not chewing well enough.  Some things go down so easy and some just cause pain.

I'm still pleased that I had the surgery and continue to walk during my lunch hours at work.  Now that the weather is warming up I expect to work in the yard and get more exercise too.

Got on the scales this morning and was thrilled to see I've lost a total of 37 pounds since Jan 8th.  Can't say how wonderful I think this band is!  Work with it and it works for you.  Having so much fun shopping in my closet - can't wait to donate the bigger stuff and go to a "normal" rack for new clothes.

Had my first fill today.  Dr. put in 2 cc's and told me to drink 2 glasses of water before I left the office.  Couldn't even get down one swallow - was so restricted it just backed up by esophogus.  So he took out 1 cc and I felt the water flow.  Guess I was more restricted than we thought.  Go back in a month for perhaps another - glad they made me wait before I left.  Will have to make sure I chew, chew, chew.

I'm very disappointed in myself.  Yesterday I got frustrated and let it get the better of me.  Ate a very large bowl of potato soup and several 100 calorie packs of cookies.  I'm mad at myself for giving in and doing that as I was doing so well on the program.

Today is a new day and I'm back on track but trying to figure out why it was so easy to give in to old habits.  I hope this will make me more aware of what I'm doing in the future as I certainly don't want to relapse to hugeness again!

My first fill is scheduled for Feb 28th.  I think I'm excited....been doing ok so far and was told at doctor's office yesterday it appears I have a good handle on the procedures and requirements.  I've been weighing myself everyday because I've enjoyed the numbers dropping but was told to only do it once a week now that I'm on "real" food.  I know the weight will fluctuate so that's probably a better idea.

Becoming more active just because I feel better and seem to have more energy.  So glad I made the decision to do this!

Finished the 4 week liquid diet and have lost 30 pounds - liquid will do that to you.  I was never so excited about anything as I was with the ability to have cottage cheese for my lunch at work.  Funny when you stop to think about it.  

My incision has healed and looks good.  Can hardly wait for the first fill - had an overeating episode this past week end - oh the pain!  Won't do that again.  Have started using small sandwich plates for my dinner plate - looks like a lot instead of overloading a big plate.

Been shopping for clothes in my closet.  So great to have some new things to wear - can't hardly wait until the rest fit me.  Then when I undergrow them I'm going to go mall shopping and be a real fashion plate for the first time in my life!

Life is good!

Yesterday evening when I got up from my computer to fix something to drink (eat) I suddenly sprung a leak.  My port incision was streaming like a water baloon with a hole in it.  I must have leaked 1/4 to 1/2 cup of fluid.  I called the Dr. - hated to bother him after hours - and he said it was a build up of blood and fluid from the surgery.  Told me to get butterfly bandages and pull it together.  Not really an infection but could invite an infection in. If it continues to leak come into the office in the morning and they'll bandage it.

My husband, being the worry wort that he is, wanted to run me immediately to the hospital.  He went to the drug store and got the bandages - and tried to fix me up when he got back.  Then he was checking every 5 minutes to see if I was still leaking.  Needless to say, I was.  I promised I'd let him take me to the doctor's office in the morning if he would stop worrying.  I know he didn't stop because all night long he'd pat my arm - good thing it isn't something serious I wouldn't have gotten any sleep at all LOL.

So this morning we are up and ready to leave as soon as the morning rush hour lets up.  Have about an hours drive to the doctor's office so we should be getting there about the time it opens.

Researched the leak on the internet and found out it's called seroma - fluid building up behind an incision - blood serum.  I saw where others had to have it removed by syringe.  So I know I'm not special and I know it's not life threatening - and I thought I was doing so well and about ready to go back to work.  Wonder if my age has anything to do with it.  Not healing as fast as I used to.

This journey has been pretty easy so far - hope I'm not doing something wrong.  Have lost 13.5 pounds and feel wonderful.  Have walked every day in the neighborhood - a little farther each day.  A couple of the girls I work with have volunteered to walk with me during lunch hour after I go back to work so I should be able to continue that routine.  I'm also going to look into Curves for after work each day.  That seems to be a good idea since it's 30 minutes varied workout and there are seveal to choose from on my way home.

Went to the store yesterday and bought some different soups (low fat and low sodium) so I can strain the veggies out and just eat the broth.  Have to be real creative on a 4 week liquid diet.  Looking forward to mushies!

I have felt hunger - but so far it's been easy to ignore as it doesn't happen often.  I've begun a regular schedule of eating time - 3 meals a day with nothing but sipping in between.  Figure there's no time like the present to start changing habits. 

Thought I was ready for a walk around the mall - mistake - really wore me out - slept for about 2 hours after I got home.  Was feeling so good at home I just couldn't wait.  This morning I went to church and thanked God for this journey.  Have to go to grocery store today to get some more soup etc for this next week.  Think I'll call the dietitian and ask about protein drinks...I'm not certain I'm getting enough.

Been  days now since surgery.  Learning what that pouch pain feels like when I eat to fast - or should I say when I drink too fast.  Always been a quick eater so this will be a real challenge to slow down.  Besides feeling tired I've had a headache today but otherwise feeling ok.  Getting bored already because I'm so used to working every day - look forward to vacation and back to work.  

Have been taking short walks every day.  Tomorrow I think I'll get hubby to take me to the mall so I have a flatter area to walk.  Got flowers from my work and my parents - beautiful and made me feel like I was special.