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It's 2am and I can't sleep...Lots of worries on my mind... had a discussion with a good friend today about how to get my brain on board with my self image after surgery. I struggle with self esteem issues and even though I know surgery isn't a cure all, I'm hoping to feel a lot better about myself after reaching my wt loss goals. Does this happen? What can I do now to help myself before surgery. I divorced 4 years ago and I would love to date with confidence and choose better men, knowing I deserve better. Any advice?

I'm discouraged today! I keep asking everyone their opinion on my surgery. I've made a good decision to do this, I know I will improve my life. But, some comments have been...

*Why would you mutilate your body? I've already mutilated my body
*Why don't you just exercise? It hurts
*You are not big enough. I'm only 7 different meds and my brother had a heart attack @ 40

Some friends are excited for me, The Dr and nurse I work with are very supportive, my sister is supportive. My children are scared, They love me...

Why do I feel the need to keep asking everyone's opinion when I've already made up my mind?

 

My insurance company approved me today...I WAS SCREAMING!!! This is really happening, I'm so excited...4 1/2 more months till surgery! Some days it seems so far away and some days I get nervous to think it is right around the corner.

I have to wait 5 months. It seems like 5 years right now. BUT I did get a surgery date of February 15, 2010.

Two steps forward one step back...I'm disappointed, my loan was denied today (that's what divorce will do for ya). I'll have to wait until next year for my surgery, (Febuary or March). I'm trying to remember that everthing happens for a reason and there must be a reason that I need to wait.

HERE WE GO...I am going in to apply for my loan today. I am nervous... This life change is so important to me. I didn't realize how important until I woke up this morning and was so anxious about heading to the bank. They just have to approve me! If they don't I'll have to wait until tax time (Jan-Feb) for my RNY. I used to work for an incredible Bariatric Surgeon and patients were so anxious to get started in the process, I didn't understand their urgency...I do now!!! When you finally make the decision to change your life...you want it to start YESTERDAY! Wish me luck...