missdjv
04/24/03 - I have always been 20 lbs overweight my whole life, but it did not bother me. I worked out all the time, was very active with my children and was loving life in general. Then 3 yrs ago, I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, had thyroid removed, became pregnant with my 4th, and had another surgery for a recurrence..all within a 6 month period. After having the baby, and being off medication for 6 weeks in 2001 for the radiation, I ended up gaining almost 100 lbs. Despite trying over 10-15 diets since then, I cannot lose any of it. My energy is non-existant, and I am so tired of "sitting on the sidelines", watching my children and husband. I want to be a participant in their lives! Constantly being out of breath, aching feet from all this weight, the headaches and high blood pressure...its so frustrating. I have heard of a Dr Steeley in Clarksville, TN who does it but has long waiting lists. And since I only have insurance until July, time is working against me, so I may call some of the fine Doctors in Nashville. At any rate, wish me luck!Update: I went to my PCP, a wonderful person, and they are putting in the letter with Tricare now. She also recommend Dr Richards in Nashville, and after talking to a rude nurse at Dr Steeleys office, I will most definitely try to have a consult with Dr Richards if I get approved.
05/03/03 - Argh, I cannot believe my luck. Technically, I am considered Tricare Standard so I will have to pay about 20 percent of the cost! The problem is the reps and I have called every Nashville doctor, as well as some local area Kentucky doctors and they are all booked for two months!! I do not understand how if they care about us, they cannot fit me in somewhere? I just feel like crying...
05/5/03 - The support on this site is unbelievable! thanks so much for the advice. I think my luck is changing. There was a Doctor who i found on this website that I emailed and just poured my heart out to. So much for pride..A nurse for Dr Agbanaug( very embarrassing how emotional I have been lately)wrote back so quickly and was so kind. Determined once again to meet the deadline, coupled with the help of another amazing woman named Susan from my insurance company, Im off to the Pysch Eval today, and the blood work this weekend! Wish me luck!
5/12/03- Passed my psych eval. thats one thing out of the way. I got a letter from tricare, who is "requesting" my consult to be made by MAY 24. I wish I could convince the Dr's secretary of that! I cannot even be seen until all the testing is done, and being that the Army hospitals are so understaffed right now, things are taking so long. Im afraid I am not going to get a surgery date before my insurance is gone. The waiting lists are much too long here. On a more positive note, after reading the Q&A part on here a few days ago, I went on the healthready website, and got approved for a loan! So I am highly considering just going with Dr Aguirre in Mexico. It just seems so selfish of me to spend 6900.00+ on myself when I have 4 children, and the new school year just a few months away. But then again, for them to have their mom back, to be able to do MORE with them - How can I put a price tag on THAT?? I just am so confused and so anxious right now... in the meantime, the scale keeps slowing climbing...
5/20/03.. 1 month and 10 days until I have no insurance. I am so frustrated right now I dont know what to do. The last three days I can barely get out of bed. My results for bloodwork is back. High Cholesterol and low B-12
5/28/03.... Let me tell you what a difference a week makes. I could not even get a consult yet for Dr Agbanug and was so frustrated at all the red tape involved in this, that I decided to write a Doctor in Nashville I had heard so much about, Dr Husted. I heard from so many he was the best anyway from this site, but as he was not in the Tricare network i never attempted to contact him, as I assumed 'the best' would be much too busy for me.I wrote them an email late last week, summarizing what is going on and how it has affected my life and family. I was written back, contacted via telephone two days later, and NOW finally believe there is a Doctor who is on our side, who cares about people enough to listen, and to offer help. I will need to pay the surgeons fee, since he is out of network, but to know there is a Doctor and his staff who understands and they MEAN what they say, who wants to help me see my dream is more than I could have hoped for. Ive definitely learned my lesson; never again will I assume someone is too good or too busy for me
5/30/03...Upper GI is now complete. Oh man, was that stuff ever nasty. My ENT Dr called, and upped my synthroid to .300 mg. My TSH was normal, but for us ex-Cancer peoples, it has to be Below Normal. I love my ENT Doc, He is the most considerate and caring man. BIG shout-out to Dr Stalford of the US Army!! Okay...So all testing is done now. I see Dr Husted Wednesday, and if all goes well with Tricare approving it quickly, I have surgery 27 June 03. It doesnt feel real yet, I guess. I keep waiting for the rug to be pulled from under me, or for Tricare to say "ha, just kidding. Everyone BUT you can get the surgery", or something like that.
06/04/03...I met with Dr Husted today. Extremely professional, but listens too. I liked him. His office staff is just wonderful. You are treated with dignity, respect, and kindness. They CARE about you and helping you improve your quality of life. I am still scheduled for the 27th, but have to wait for final approval from Tricare.
6/19/03: I am so frustrated. Tricare did not even recieve my paperwork until the 17th. I was supposed to pre-admit that day, but with insurance still pending, I could not. Im 7 days and a wake-up away, but the Insurance approval is still being processed. I may not make the time frame after all. I have been so depressed, all I am doing is sleeping 'round the clock. My poor husband is taking over all the chores and going to work, which is so unfiar to him..I got to stop this negativity! If its meant to be, then itll be.
Well guys, I was denied. The tricare MD assigned to review dragged his feet, and lied as well. There were changes to the staff, and as a result my paperwork took longer to send, and then staff went to a mandatory conference to better help obese people, and whatever could go wrong pretty much did. Dr Fitzgerald was the tricare Doctor who denied it, based on current psych eval needed, and Thyroid clearance needed. Two other times prior to this, he'd requested other info. All was already sent. I ACED that psych eval, and got the clearance less than 6 weeks ago. How much more current does he want? So that was re-faxed, my appeal has been re-faxed, and also a letter from my ENT doctor clearing me. No word, from Tricare. I am not blaming anyone for this not working out. I tried my best, and the one Doctor willing to help in this short notice was Dr Husted. It just was not my time yet. But oh I am so grateful for this site, the people on here willing to help and share their stories. I admire you all, and want the best for those I have gotten to "know" thru postings.
Well its my birthday today, July 19. Im 30 yrs old. and I have gained 4 lbs since being denied. Will I ever get help?
21 Sept 03 - These past three days have been a nightmare. First off, on Thursday I went to talk to my Psychology professor regarding a test. I have been in his class, in the front row, for over a month now. I asked him if he had received an email from me id sent a fews days prior because I had not heard from him regarding instructions for this particular assignment. He looks at me, and says in a odd tone, "well, WHO are you??"..I was so ashamed and mortified I sat down and had tears just streaming down my face. Im invisible. I dont even register in a persons mind. I am this fat blob who doesnt count. Then I went shopping for Halloween decorations at Walmart on Friday. It is my favorite holiday, and for this children to help pick out the decorations is a big deal. My child has to use the restroom at Walmart. We are waiting in line. A lady comes out of the large handicap stall, and the lady who is in front of me goes to enter it when she hesitates and looks at me. Mind you, this woman is also a big woman. She looked to be about 210 lbs or so. Smaller than my 255-260lbs, but still a large lady. She tells me I could go ahead in the handicap stall. I was startled, and asked if there was something wrong. She said "Well, no disrespect but its bigger.." I couldnt say a word, I was again ashamed. Then tonight, my 4 year old daughter tells me she wants to sit with me on our swing on the porch. I stained this swing and we installed it ourselves, and it is one of my favorite places to sit. Theres a light rain falling, my child and I are rocking and I feel so great at that moment. She is getting so big and doesnt really like to be held much anymore (very independant), but she is cuddled up next to me and all of a sudden my side breaks, and we both tumble to the cement. Luckily she is okay. But it was the last straw for me. I have been crying for almost two hours and cant seem to stop. I feel so worthless and alone. Hopeless..this whole weight issue is hopeless. I made a date in December in Mexico, but its not really what I want to do...Im still so short on money and if I cant get the rest of it by Halloween, Im cancelling so someone else could get a chance to have my date and live again. Short of a miracle, or SSDI finally coming thru, it wont happen. My family suffers enough embarrassment because of me. I just dont know what to do, besides hide in the house forever.
24 Sep 03:
This is my 3rd time trying to update; Windows XP is being uncooperative today, argh! CJ, thank you so very much for your positive email. You dont know how much it helped that day. I was so down, and after reading it i didnt feel quite so alone. I took
a deep breath, tried to relax, and lo and behold things have gotten better. I checked my bank account today, and was not only approved for SSDI finally, but my backpay was in there, enough for the surgery, tickets, hotel, and even Bambee! Im stunned, and feel like pinching myself to see if I wake from the dream. I went on travelocity.com and bought my plane tickets immediately, i have made reservations at the Hotel Coral for the week or so I am down there in December, and am so grateful to God and this amazing website and group of people who I feel like I have so much in common with and have never ever met.. I am so relieved right now, it just doesnt seem real yet...
19 Oct 03: went to meet my new endocrinologist on Thursday. He is insistant I do not go thru the bypass; hes testing me for Cushings Disease. I cannot imagine cancelling, I really cant. Even if I have some hormonal problem, i feel like if I dont do the surgery then Im stuck being huge forever. I cannot face another year like this
26 Oct: well no cushings disease has shown up. I guess Im just fat, lol...I just have been thinking alot of Dr Husteds office and being home to do it. My medicare plan A /B (not real sure what that is..not exactly used to disability stuff yet, but God Bless 'em!) starts on 1 Jan 04...wonder if i can get it done here? I have no doubt in Dr Aguirre, but Dr Husted is so terrific, AND he does DS...
I changed my name and abbreviated some personal info after reading in the message board about this pervert who has nothing better to do than harrass people on here. I just do not get some people; I guess he or maybe they have gotten our personal information from here. Crazy
2 Nov :ok, I have spoke with Dr Husteds insurance lady, and hopefully I will be able to get surgery. I was quoted 6800.00 this time, but in June I paid 5000.00. It was refunded of course cuz of Tricare mess, but medicare will cover the hospital cost if medically necessary. And I already have had 4 doctors state it was..Cancelled my surgery date of 18 Dec with Dr Aguirre. Man, I hope I dont live to regret this.
18 Dec 03- I
am so happy!! i saw Dr Husted yesterday. Every time I see the office staff, I am reminded of the care and love they show, and they mean it too! Miss Dayne (probably spelling her name wrong, Im sorry)is so awesome. Her and Miss Jennifer are the coolest people; Dr Husted has another Doctor assisting him, which is good because he works so hard. His name is Dr Spaw, and cute too!
They are working as a team doing the LAP DS now, isnt that neat?! And so on the 12th of January, I am getting it done. This has been a roller coaster year, and without this website I wouldve given up by now. Instead I get THE greatest Doctor and a chance to live healthy again. WOOHOO
1 jan 04: Happy New Year all; I have 10 days and a wake up! I cant wait. I am so tired all the time; Hope this year is the year I live again.
16 Jan 04: Ok guys I am on the losing side. Dr Husted and Dr Spaw are phenomenal! I was lucky to have a "switch" buddy in the hospital with me. Her name is Susan, and she was so awesome. We walked to each others room, and got to share in our experience. She was in So much more pain it seemed, with the open DS. My LAP DS is great: I think I will be so pleased..Although I was doing so well the night and day after discharged that I Overdid it, and am sore! Smells get to me, and gas pains are not fun, but I am feeling so grateful I had the Doctors I did. They were worth every single penny. Being approved for medicare, there were actually Drs I couldve gone to her in Clarksville, but I wanted the best. And I got it. There is a special tonight on Discovery Health about one of his patients, and I am so excited to see Dr Husted in Action. 100% top notch!!!
21 Jan 04: feeling much better. Less painful. I think I am healing really pretty..gotta love the lap DS! Have my 2 week appt on the 27th, ill let you know how I am doing
Hello everyone! I just got back from my 2wk. checkup. I swore I was not going to be emotional, but as soon as I saw Dr Spaw I burst into tears of gratitude. I have lost 20 pounds, and am off my BP medication. I dont have to take breaks to go up stairs. I no longer huff and puff when I have to go more than ten steps..I even went to the park yesterday with my 3 and 4 yr old girls and played. I cannot tell you the joy it brought me for them to tell the other people there "thats my mommy!!". I never went before; my husband always had to bring them because their mommy was too tired. Well, NOT that day!!..To see that scale move downward for the first time in 4 years was monumental. I really believed after the cancer and huge weight gain, that life how I used to remember it was a distant memory. Dr Spaw and Dr Husted gave me my self-respect and dignity back. I have had NO problems with my Lap DS, and my stomach is healing beautifully. I am so lucky, so very blessed to have had these Doctors.
13 Feb: Ok, I WAS at a standstill in week 3, but week four was a bit better..I am 239 today. Yes, I feel like a slow loser, but at least its still going down. Im telling ya folks, I thought I was gonna be the ONE failure for the DS.. Still feeling good. A little more tired now, but I get anemic very easy so I am thinking that may be it
26 Feb: 231 lbs...Man this seems so slow compared to others.. Still very tired too.
21 Mar: 221 lbs now..I am starting to go to the gym and hopefully this will help speed up weight loss. I cant really tell I have lost. I still feel so huge :(..The worst thing so far has been the awful cramps that come once a month. Its SO bad now...
06 Apr 04- Happy Anniversary to me and the hubby!! I had an appointment yesterday. I am 11 weeks out and down to 211.5 lbs. I actually switched to B12 monthly shots on 30 March instead of the daily sublingual and dropped 9 lbs in a week. My energy is up as well. Im really trying to get this protein in, but oh man I am being a baby about what to eat, lol
18 Apr 04- I am at 208 lbs, but am 3 weeks hypothyroid right now and feeling like a zombie. For those who have no thyroid and have to undergo radiation its called "hypo hell". Sandy my friend, thanks so much for your supportive emails. B12 shots are way better than the sublinguals, at least they were to me. As soon as I feel better or can think more clearly, I will write you all back who have wished me good luck and sent prayers. I wish you all that and more!
18 June 04- Im at 193 lbs, and trying to bounce back after being hypothyroid. The B12 shots really are awesome. I was at a plateau for 6 weeks, got my shot and dropped again! Maybe a coincidence, but I swear the shots help!
2 Jul 03- Hello all; I am 189 today.. Still in size 18 but they are getting loose. KD lady i saw your new pic and you look amazing! What an inspiration. Miss Towanda, I know you are getting excited about surgery coming up and Ill be praying for you that you heal super fast.
07/19/04- Ok, I cant seem to get into my pretty profile, with the bunnies and colors..Argh, I am so bummed. Luckily Miss Towanda sent me a msg and I was able to cut and paste my info and re-register. So if you are reading this and think youve seen the above info on another profile of Missdjv, thats me! BUT since I dont have a "last name" on that its rejecting my attempts to log on..Boo! Anyway, Happy Birthday to ME! i am 31. I had my 6 month check up today and am at 185 lbs. Feeling good. I went to see a plastic surgeon in Nashville and man is she awesome!! I do have a large hernia, but medicare will cover that and NOT the tummy tuck. And the PS doesnt take Tenn Care Select, my secondary insurance. I do not have 4500.00 to spend on the TT portion, so I guess I have to find a dr who does accept Tenncare. If you guys have any suggestions PLEASE email me!! My arms and stomach are awful.
9/27/04 - Well I am at 173 lbs today, and wearing mostly size 14/16 clothing. Feeling great. Went to Six Flags with my kids and walked for hours! It was wonderful to be able to be so active with them. Never could I have done that last year. Weight loss has slowed so much but then again I am back to "snacking" when I am not hungry and eating junk I know I am not supposed to. Argh, I hate that. I am considering Dr Fabio for my Plastic Surgery. I met him at MedNetbrazil conference in Vegas and he is amazing!!
10/26/06 - I am at 167 lbs today; its funny tho; I am wearing 14/16 still and people keep commenting on how huge my clothes look on me. But when i look in the mirror I see a really fat person still..maybe not AS big but still very large. And I also keep finding more flaws. Before cancer and this huge weight gain, I used to think of myself as pretty. Now, I see every single flaw, magnified 10x's..I look old..and distorted looking..and not pretty; not at all...I have heard of this body dysmorphic disorder mentioned on this website; I will be reaserching that in the future...
31 Oct 04: Happy Halloween..165 lbs today
1 Nov 04 - Hey I read a profile on here of a lady who had the most awesome quote regarding the annoyance of thyroid cancer and how she felt about it..Im gonna quote it here because after battling it for almost 5 years, the 3 recurrences,the RAI and stupid bloodwork so often you feel like a pincushion I am frankly sick to death of this so-called 'best cancer to get if you gotta get one..'(I hate it when Docs say that to me, I really do)...
Anyway here is her quote.FROM THE PROFILE OF SUZY C: ""I'm sick of this half-stepping bullshit drama-queen weenie-ass pipsqueak of a little cancer (hey, if radiation and surgery don't work, perhaps insults will). As hobbies go, I'd rather be stamp-collecting.""....Man, I love it. Thanks Suzy, for putting into words how I am feeling at this exact moment. Now I dont feel so alone...
13 JAN 05: Happy Anniversary to me! One year yesterday! Wow, can it be a year already? My bloodwork came back kinda bad..I switched from the ADEK's to Vista Vitamins, that is really the only change..So I am going back on ADEK's ASAP! Im at 163 lbs, and wear 14 loosely, 12's a little tight. If I ever got this huge hernia fixed, Id look alot better, but I dont want to do that without getting a TT, but so far no luck on getting insured..
22 MAY 05: I am so disgusted w/ my eating habits lately..Im still at 163-165 lbs, but I am not watching what I eat or getting my water in at all..Im so addicted to Iced Caramel lattes I swear Im turning into one :)...Still no luck on finding a Doc who will accept medicare for the PS/hernia removal..Has anyone else had a problem with severe acne also? Not even as a teen did I have breakouts, but especially the last 4 months or so, It is so bad!! Please, if you have any advice for the acne do not hesitate to write. In the last year i have tried the following: Proactiv, Clinique, Lancomme, Phisoderm and Aveda. Maybe I need a dermatogolist? Hope you are all doing wonderful and are staying on track!!
4 June 05: Hello my favorite website! I am now doing liquid B12 daily as well as the monthly shots and finally i feel less tired! I am on .400 of synthroid, could it possibly get any higher? jeez! I look at myself now and pics from when I was my heaviest at 280 lbs and I can see i look different, but i still feel huge; its so odd. But it feels great to have people look AT me instead of THRU me...
28 May 06: Wow, has it been so long already? I am still at 165 or so, but since I dont do what I am supposed to be doing I am relieved. I have become addicted to Iced Specialty coffees (Damn you Starbucks!, lol) so i know if i could quit those and finally exercise I would be doing great. I have alot of excess skin and a HUGE hernia.. Went in for a hernia consult and they cant do it becuase yet again another lump was found in my neck. I hate this Cancer so much!!!!
13 may 07: happy mothers day to you all. I am now 2 days post-op from my tummy tuck and hernia repair; the VA squared me away, can you believe it? I gained like 12 lbs this past year from just being lazy and too much of the starucks so that is a bummer but im going to get back on track; the tummy tuck, pain-wise, is not as bad as i had heard. im tolerating everything well