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     Monday is the three year anniversary of my surgery...it is also my birthday.  I honestly believed it would be a rebirth of sorts for me but really I feel more like I've shed my old outer image more than being re-born; inside I am still the same woman I've always been.  Perhaps I walk with a bit more confidence, hold my head a little higher and am less willing to put up with the b.s. people try to throw my way but essentially the same me.
     It has been an eventful journey with plenty of ups but some downs too...I don't think any journey is perfect.  I never quite reached my dream goal of 120 pounds but at 126 pounds, I am quite happy with my results.  Sometimes its hard to believe I've really lost 173 pounds but the proof is on the scale and in the reflection of the mirror.  And, just at the end of 2009 and at the beginning of 2010, I had some reconstructive surgery to remove the excess skin from my abdomen and return my breast to a more youthful state...the results of which are simply remarkable.
     This past week I reached another milestone in my journey...I was able to fit comfortably into size 2 jeans.  When I consider the place from which I started, it almost made me cry when I tried on the jeans.  I never allowed myself to dream beyond getting down to a healthy weight and being able to walk without the walker or using the power chair.  
     And today, was an even bigger achievement - I climbed 11.02 miles or 526 floors on the StairMaster in 90 minutes.  So I've gone from a person who could barely walk to a person who can climb 526 floors.  Now that is a beautiful feeling!!!  It is simply over the top amazing!!   
     I am the healthiest I've ever been and I am also the strongest I've ever been.  We can never be certain of what the future holds but at this moment....I am proud of all I've accomplished in three short years.  

As August fades into September, I realize time has simply flown by and my three year anniversary will be coming up in just over a month and half.  Almost three years this October 18th....its been an incredible journey.  

I never quite made it to my ultimate goal of 120 (still hoping and working on it) but I am quite happy at 128 pounds.  
In December of '09, I had an anchor tummy tuck and in February of 2010, I had a breast lift.  Dr. Frenzel did an incredible job!!

I will admit, I was a bit depressed following the skin removal surgeries.  I honestly believe the change was so drastic I was not quite prepared for it.  The weight loss was such a gradual process but to go to sleep with one body and wake up in another was stunningly shocking to say the least.  I hadn't seen my waistline in who knows how long and "the girls" were never perky.  

I'm so happy the recovery periods are over and done with.  The scars are starting to fade.  My brain is finally learning to accept the image in the mirror.  And I am back at the gym with a renewed enthusiasm and sense of purpose (I hadn't realized how much the skin was hindering my progress).    

Yes, time flies but this time, I've flown right along with it.  

Its been such a long time since I've posted a blog entry.  All is going well.  My birthday and surgical anniversary just passed on October the 18th.  I had set a goal of 150 pounds weight loss by my anniversary but I missed it by 2 pounds.  Oh well, 148 pounds isn't too shabby.  To this day I've never regretted for a moment my decision to have RNY gastric bypass.  I thought I might miss some of the foods/drinks that were part of my former dietary staples but I don't...not even diet sodas and let me tell you, I was a diet soda junkie.  Its not been a "piece of cake" and the exercise is still not what it should be but it has been a wonderful journey thus far.  I can dance now like I haven't danced in years.

On December 2nd I am embarking on the second half of my weight loss journey.  This is the day I am having an fleur de lis abdominoplasty and breast lift.  I am scared but excited at the same time.  The excess skin on my stomach is a little frightening but this is where I carried so much of my weight; I could hardly have expected my skin to be that forgiving.  Anyway, the next step begins in December and looking down the road a few years, I'll have my arms and possibly my legs done for my 50th birthday; another gift to myself.  My body will never be perfect but I am not seeking perfection.  I seek only to be the best possible me and I am definitely on my way.

 It has been awhile since I've posted anything but I had such positive news from the doctor on Monday I just had to post.  For the first time in I can't even remember when, I am in the normal range for fat mass and fat%.  It may be the high end of normal but it is still normal.  I am down to 156 pounds...that makes for a net loss of 133 pounds.  My waist is down to 33 inches.  I feel really great about my achievements. 
Another really cool note:  I saw are good friend the other day, he is a flight attendent.  I asked him if I am flight attendent material yet and he said, "Oh yeah!"  It has always been my dream to be a flight attendent and although it is not feasable at this time, it felt really nice to have someone believe I could make the cut.  Yippee!!!

Well I can't believe it...a whole year has passed since my surgery.  Happy birthday and re-birthday to me.  Yeah!!  As of this morning I have lost 126 pounds, not too shabby for a year out. 

The word century means 100 (years or a group or series of things) and for me, a century is 100 pounds lost.   I feel excited and elated and so very charged.  

So many things have changed since surgery in October.  I am so much healthier and stronger.  The gait problem has virtually corrected itself, to the point it is hard to believe I was unable to walk normally just so few months ago.  Exercise is so much easier without the excess pounds.   And the clothes; for the first time in so many years, it is fun to shop for pretty things instead of buying t-shirts and stretch pants because they were the only things which fit and could hide my bulk.  I must also admit, it is totally awesome seeing the admiration in my husband's eyes.  I feel wonderful!!

Now it's time to focus on the next 70 pounds.

I weighed in this morning at 200.2 lbs.  I am on the cusp of weighing under 200 pounds for the first time since I can't remember when.  Today makes for a total of 88 pounds lost.  I am so afraid to wake up to find it has all been just a dream because there are times when it feels exactly like a dream.
The exercise is going great and I am pushing myself harder all the time; doing exercises I never thought possible...like balancing on that hellish exercise ball.  My strength has improved so much when I consider six months ago I was using a walker and power chair the majority of the time.
I have a wedding to attend at the beginning of June and I just purchased my dress (yes I know it's a bit early but it's also just a bit snug).  The dress is an 18 down from about a 28.  It looks good and I feel so pretty in it.  Simply amazing.

On this fine morning I stood on the scale and weighed in at 215.6; that makes for a 73 pound weight loss.  Oh my goodness!  Each pound past 217 is new territory for me.  I haven't weighed in at anything less than 217 in 20 something years.  I feel so much better.  The exercise is getting much easier...not grand but much easier without the additional weight to carry around.

     Well here it is, 4 months post surgery and I still feel like I am holding my breath expecting it all to be a dream  I am down 70 pounds to 218.  I am feeling better and better each day; not counting last week when I had a terrible cold.  The cold messed up the work out schedule though, I was out most of the week but we were back at it last night and my body is feeling it in every muscle this morning.  It felt wonderful to be back in the exercise saddle again, I felt very slow and sluggish without my daily routine.
     Alas, the routine will disrupted again before too long.  I am going to have knee surgery within the week which really sucks.  I had been trying to wait until I had lost more weight but the knee has gotten so bad I can't even straighten the leg out completely.  The doc and I discussed replacing the knee but he is hoping to get me to 50 if at all possible and hey, by that point I will have lost enough weight perhaps the isssue will be a mute point.
      On a more positive note,  I am now down to a 1X in t shirts (which is really about the only type of shirt I wear) down from 4X.  A good friend bought me a couple of 1X's she had found on sale at Khol's.  I was very skeptical about the fit but I ended up wearing one to church a couple of Sundays ago and actually received a compliment.  I was walking into church and Paul gave me a hug and said "it's little Mary."  I thought he meant short and he clarified by telling me I was shrinking.  "Little Mary" is the way people usually differentiate between myself and my best friend...we are both Marys.  And, although I know I am not really little yet, it was nice Paul recognized the loss.  It really made me feel light as air. 

The scale is moving once again.  After hitting yet another stall (one of many) I was beginning to wonder if that blasted needle would ever move again.  This period of non weight change lasted almost two weeks.  I must confess it is the most frustrating situation.  
I realize I have had tremendous success with the number of inches I've loss and I am exteremly happy about it but, like many others, I've convinced myself that the true measure of my success is a loss on the scale. 
I became so obsessed with weighing myself, I was weighing mutliple times a day.  I finally had my husband hide the scale.  He gave it back a few days ago and I have resisted (so far) the temptation to weight more than once a day.  I really need to stop basing my success on that number on the scale.