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And I will have earned my CENTURY CARD!

I can't believe I've already lost nearly the equivalent of a young adult human being.  Or, if you watched "Survivor: China" -- I've lost the equivalent of a Courtney. 

I'm also at the halfway mark to my goal of 155 lbs.  95lbs down, 93 to go!  WOO HOO!!

I found a photo of me at age 19, and showed it to my sister.  She said I was thinner now at 40 than I was in that picture.  Speaking of my sister, I'm closing in on her current weight.   She was bemoaning the fact that she will soon be fatter than me and I said not to fear, we would work together to take off the weight.  Since we're in the midst of moving to a new house that's in my sister's neighborhood, I'll be two blocks from her and told her last night that we will be walking together and riding bikes together every day.  I want to motivate her the way she's motivated me and shown me support.

Well, gotta continue packing and moving!  I think a lot of my recent loss can be attributed to the workout I'm getting from painting, lifting, bending and doing stairs these past few weeks!  LOL!

That's 60 lbs, from what I've heard. 

I'm a week from my third month out, and I'm down to 280.  I'm down from size 4x shirts to size 2x.  I'm down in bras and panties sizes, too.  I'm actually able to throw out my old big pants, although I will hold onto one pair so I can try them on again at my goal weight of 160.  

Last week was Halloween, and for the first time in years I was able to walk all over the neighborhood with my nieces as they went trick-or-treating.  Later, when it came time to go through the haul, I did not find my mouth watering for all the sweets that used to tempt me.  I will admit to having a couple of peanut M&Ms...I remember a friend who had WLS told me she could eat 7 M&Ms only and that was enough to get her chocolate fix.  Well, I ate about four and that's all I wanted -- I didn't have the urge to down a 5lb bag like in the old days!  

Yeah, I'm sure there are those who will read this and freak out and scold me for even going there, but I can assure you all that it is not the first step back toward bad habits for me.  I'm barely interested in eating ANYTHING anymore.  And I know that's just as bad, but really -- the only thing that appeals to me anymore is orange or lemon flavored water (sweetened with Splenda) and chilled shrimp.  I eat because I have to; I eat to live.  My tummy tells me when to stop and trust me, I DO.  

I've achieved a personal goal I forgot to list: I can cross my legs again!  Not just ankle-on-knee but at the knees!  I can see a shape (other than "round") to my body.  It's just amazing.  People who have known me for years and only as huge compliment me constantly.  I just feel...shy...even embarrassed...by the fuss.  Why is that, I wonder?  You'd think I'd be strutting with pride!  Then again, I've never known how to handle praise, having heard so little of it throughout my life.  

On a sad note...today would've been my granny's 86th birthday, had she not died in 1988 from cancer.  I find myself missing her a lot these days.  My grandfather is not doing that well, either.  I have the feeling he won't be with us much longer.  He lives on the other side of the state.  I call at least once a week to chat with him, but I still miss him terribly.

I miss Mom, too, who has flown down to her winter nest in Arizona and won't return until next April.  I've been spending a lot of time at my sister's house but I fear wearing out my welcome with my brother-in-law (who has violent mood swings and prefers to self-medicate with beer rather than get professional help).  My best friend lives two hours away.  I feel so lonely sometimes, almost isolated from the rest of the world, because so few people really understand me.  I just want to be with the people I love, who love me.  Now that I've got more energy, I want to do things with them that my weight always prevented me from doing before.  

Wow.  I thought my physical health -- my weight and weight-related problems including depression -- were the true reason I became disabled.  But now that I'm losing weight, I'm finding that my mental issues are still disabling me.  Fat or thin, I will still have a battle with severe chronic depression.  I will still suffer PTSD.  It's going to take more than a surgery to fix that ailment.  All I can do is just plod onward, and hope that this too shall pass.

Cross your fingers, eh?

Well, here I am, two weeks post-op and feeling pretty darn good.  Only my period started today.  Bleh!  I always have had painful (cramps, headaches) periods, and it hasn't changed since having WLS.  

Yesterday, I weighed on our bathroom scale.  It said I was down to 310.  That makes 33lbs that I've lost since starting the pre-op 800 calorie diet two weeks before my surgery, and 23lbs. since the surgery itself.  Woot!

This morning when I woke up, I noticed that my thighs felt different when I walked.  As in, there was less rubbing together.  

I had a bad day for eating yesterday, too.  Two meals did not want to go down well, I had horrible chest pains for several minutes afterwards so I stopped eating and just sipped water.  Today I'm much better.  Actually woke up feeling hungry.  Had a chocolate protein drink for breakfast and felt better.  Now if I could just shake this craving for something Italian (always just before my period, I get a real yen for spaghetti sauce or something with the tomato-garlic-oregano flavor).  

I have two suture strips left to come off of my incisions.  Four are already gone.  The areas are pink but look to be healing pretty darn well.  I've always been a fast healer. 

Tomorrow is my post-op follow-up with my surgeon, and a meeting with my dietician.  I can't wait to find out what they have to say about my progress!

I've been home since Tuesday afternoon.  It's Thursday evening and I overdid the exercise and food intake yesterday, leaving me feeling achy and bloated.  I've also had to take some Milk of Magnesia because I haven't had a BM since the day before my surgery.

Today I've felt sleepy/groggy most of the day, and have napped off and on.  The MoM is working its way through, too.  I did manage to get some iced cappuccino (Bariatrix mix) down this evening in addition to water and SF popcicles.  Otherwise, I'm just sipping water and taking it easy.  

I got a big surprise from UPS today: a stainless steel blender that has a special smoothie feature/dispenser arrived, a gift from an old, dear friend who has been pulling for me ever since I made the decision to have WLS.  This will be helpful when I hit the puree stage of my diet.  I used it this evening to make the iced cap and it was soooo good.  

More later... 

Well, tomorrow's the BIG DAY!  I am nervous and scared and anxious but more than anything I'm EXCITED!  I can't believe this is finally happening!  After three and a half years (from the moment a doctor told me I was a prime candidate for WLS), I have had one goal: to have this surgery.

And now...now it's about to happen. 

I'll be at Spectrum Blodgett Hospital.  My procedure is scheduled for 9:25am.  

I'm feeling such nachas, I could plotz!