mayday79

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Has anyone seen an Olsen Twin b/c as of yesterday I have officially lost the equivalent of one.  I've lost exactly 100 lbs & today marks my 6 month surgiversary.  I've been waiting for a while to get to this point.  I am plateauing a lot more which has been frustrating.  I'm also starting to have more body image issues especially when it comes to the extra skin.  But all that aside-- I am very excited to be at this point and am throwing myself a little party next weekend in honor of the success. My next goal is to reach my doctor's goal for me which was to lose 144 lbs.  After that I would like to lose an additional 25... so 100 down and 70 more to go... and the journey goes on.

Ok so I've had a pretty intense week on my journey. 

Lets start with the bad...
I had a week where I had trouble eating.  On average I only ate 2 meals a day b/c I got very full very fast on everything I ate.  I think my undereating lead to a stall-- I didnt lose anyting this week- i acutally gained .5 lb..... frustrating.

Now the ugly...
I recognized that I have not been getting in enough protein-- well this has caught up with me as well.  When I brushed my hair this morning, a crap load of it came out.  More came out during my shower.  I had not noticed any hair loss prior to today so this was an UNPLEASANT surprise.

Getting to the good...
I was seeing someone for a year-- had an amazing physical connection, but personal connection was not there to lead to a relationship.  He called things off in August- we kept in touch but didnt see eachother.  He invited me to come over on Fri night.  Bad-- he said he didnt notice that I've lost 53 lbs...um ok.............Good-- we hung out without getitng physical. I realized I didn't miss "hanging out" with him as I thought I did..... time to move on.

Finally the good...
I had my first post-op date on Thursday night.  Things went really well.  I didn't mention the surgery-- food didn't come up-- we were watching a movie and hung out.  Idk how I will approach the subject when it comes up.  I guess I'll have to play it by ear.  It felt really good to have that first date again.  I guess I've been feeling a lot more comfortable lately and I
do think that comfort came out on the date.  Who knows where this will go-- if anywhere-- but atleast I put myself out there.  

So I went out this weekend to a bar to see my friend's band play.  Its not my local bar, but its a place I've been to on quite a few occasions.  The difference in going this time is the attention I received.   Throughout the course of the night I was "hit on" by 3 guys.  At one point I had my back turned to the bar (to watch the band) and when I turned around to get a drink, there was a beer bottle sitting in front of me.  Being that I can no longer drink beer, I was puzzled by the Bud Light bottle.  I picked it up to learn it was empty.  Upon further inspection, I saw writing on a white section of the bottle-- it was a phone number with a message under it that read, "call me- Steve."  As I glanced around the bar, there must have been 10 different guys with Bud Light bottles, so I didn't quite know who Steve actually was.  However, I was taken aback by my evening.  I didnt know what to do with thirsty threesome who were clearly all friends and baraging me with questions like, "are you married, what do you do for a living, if you dont dance, then how do you express yourself?"  Really, the last one was a kicker.  Anyway, I decided to call over my friend's boyfriend to "save me" from all the boys. 

As I pondered the mystery beer bottle from Steve and the others, I started to question, "why now?"  I mean granted, I've lost a little over 45 lbs in the past almost 6 weeks, but I have been at this weight before and never received so much attention (at least not all at once)!  Am I projecting something different?  I mean I'm still a fat chick so Im a little confused! I guess i still have to get used to the idea of weight loss.  One advantage of being large is not dating much, and being that I was very consumed with other aspects with my life I was happy with the limited dating I was doing.  I dont know if I'm really ready to enter into the dating world.  Maybe I'm overthinking things and should just be happy with my night out? I feel like I'm crazy for having trouble with this new found attention.

So its been 2 weeks and 5 days since my gastric sleeve surgery.  I have had grrrrrreat results! So far I am down 32lbs.  Many people have noticed the weight loss thus far. I even had a customer from my part time job notice! However, I cant see it in myself.  All my life i have struggled with having a healthy connection between mind and body and one of my goals in my weight loss journey is to bring together how I feel and how I look.  How do I help to make this happen?