Madeleine
I am not absolutely sure what part of my story should be told here. My life has been like a soap opera--one thing happening right after another.
Some of the things I have been through are: 1) I grew up in a home that was very dysfunctional. I was born the second of a set of triplets. We had one older sibling (about 2 & a half years older than the three of us. My mother had wanted only 2 children, so she was not happy to now have 4. Needless to say the brother that was five minutes younger than myself and I were made to feel unwanted. I say made to feel as the two of us were told on many occasions (even into our adulthood) that we were excess baggage. 2) Ever since my 2 brothers and I were born my mother would go into what we called 'non-speaking spells.' These spells lasted a variety of times. As we became able to fend for ourselves, those 'spells" would last longer. (The longest time while at home was 6 weeks--The longest since leaving home was 6 years (which included my children--no gifts, nothing--even cards and letters sent to mother came back marked 'refused' whether it was my children or myself who sent it.)) Most of the time we didn't even know what would send her into one of these 'spells.' 3) My mother and father were divorced when my 2 brothers and I were 5 years old. My father was only allowed a one day visit once a month and that was on a Sunday. My mother limited those visits by insisting that we needed to go to Sunday school before we went with Dad. Then she would go into one of her 'spells' just before our Dad was due to have his visit with us. Upset at school (because of mother's 'spells' ) was related to Dad's weekend, so our Dad was approached to find out why. He didn't want to upset us, so he quit coming. At 8 years old my dad was my idol so I was very angry at my dad because he abandoned me. Years later I learned what had really happened and from there on my dad & I had a wonderful relationship. 4) Because I was craving the love and caring that I missed growing up, I ended up going into a marriage that ended up becoming verbally, emotionally, and sexually abusive. When I thought there was no where to turn and that I wasn't going to leave my kids behind, I contemplated murder/suicide. The Lord works in mysterious ways as he brought people and information to me to let me know there was a way out. He led me to a counselor who has helped me look at things differently. I had my first bariatric surgery in 1983, when I was still dealing with a lot of the above stressors. At that time support before or after the surgery was non-existent. I lost over 100 pounds. When I was still at home, about all I got praised for was cleaning my plate. Bet you can guess what I did when dealing with the above stressors! For years I tried everything to re-lose the weight (even to the point of bulimia). Very little weight was lost. I didn't realize that a revision could be done. Imagine my surprise when I found out (in 2006) that it could be done For most of 2006 I have been doing the pre-surgical testing and evaluations. As of January 22, 2007, the only things left to do are a second opinion endoscopy and upper GI. Then I should only have the wait for insurance to give approval for the revision surgery February 22nd is the date that has been set to do the endoscopy and the upper GI. I anxiously look forward to the time when a surgery date is set. I have worked on the life changes that needed to be made to help me succeed (sp) after surgery. By making those changes now I have already lost about 35 pounds. My life has changed in many ways. Most of the changes have been for the good. 3-19-07 Yipee!!! I found out today that I have been approved for the surgery. I was notified about two weeks ago that my surgery date is April 25th. I am getting really excited. This last month will be 4 long weeks.10-12-07 I haven't updated for a very long time, so I will attempt now to update my summer. Surgery was set ahead twice and back once. In the end surgery was done on April 11, 2007 I won't say much here about the surgery and what happened right after surgery as you can read about that in my surgeon testimonial section. My wound did not heal completely until the latter part of summer. I had developed a pocket that needed to be kept opened to heal from the inside out. When I went in to see a local surgeon, I found out that I had what is called a 'spitting stitch. Once that surgeon got the stitch out the pocket healed in about 2 weeks.
Mid summer I got to feeling awful. My whole body felt like restless leg syndrom. I was so shaky that I even had difficulty dialing my cell phone. My mind felt like I was on drugs of some sort. I would lose my balance. I had slept only 13 hours in 5 days and had not had a bowel movement in over 10 days. Turned out my iron was low. I ended up going into the hospital for 2 days to receive 3 units of blood. What a difference it made. Now my PCP is watching my iron more closely
On August 17th I went into the Rochester Methodist Hospital to have throat surgery. There were three things that had to be fixed. My voice is barely aduible (sp) and I have developed a granuloma as well. Hopefully 3 months wait will improve things. Just a wait and see situation.
As of today, October 12, 2007, I have lost 129 pounds and 89 inches (around the waist). It feels so good to be thinner. Being thinner has really made for a wonderful summer: Time with my son and his family--fishing, special time with my daughter's boy (2 years old). It has also been nice to hear compliments from many different people. Wearing clothes that show off the good parts has helped me feel good.
The beginning of last week I was able to get a pet companion. I have an orange w/darker streaks (like a tiger) kitten. He is about 3 months old. I have had him declawed in front as this is a requirement of the housing I am in. He is so lovable. I start petting him and he rolls over on his back and stretches his back lets out straight. I can pet his whole underside. I'm not generally a morning person, but my kitten, Elmo, gets me up early. When I have an appointment and have set my alarm to try to get up, Elmo won't let me go back to sleep after hitting the doze button. Elmo has sure helped with my depression.
