lwheatley

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

http://www.laurabethwheat.blogspot.com

It was 10:19 PM.  I strolled down the stairs to freshen my water with ice when I smelt the most wonderful smell - taquitos.  I looked in the trash to find an empty box which minutes ago contained 20 taquitos.  I yelled to my husband, "Did you eat all the taquitos?"  Not able to wrap my mind around the fact that it was twenty after ten and he had digested TWENTY taquitos!  His reply to me was, "No, I DIDN'T eat them all!  I AM eating them all."  Now, four days ago, I would have sat down in the living room with him and enjoyed a few taquitos before settling into bed for the night.  But it was now, four days post-op, and  no longer an option.  So I went back up stairs - ice in hand, laid on my pillow staring at the ceiling concentrating on the smell of the friggin taquitos.

Now, whoever is reading this is probably thinking I'm pretty pathetic right about now.  Only a fat ass would be so consumed with food.  Well, you are right.  I am in a pretty pathetic state, I am a fat ass, and G-damn, I am so consumed and obsessed with food at the moment.  Plain and simply, I am an addict.

According to Wikipedia, addiction was a term used to describe a devotion, attachment, dedication, inclination, etc. Nowadays, however, the term addiction is used to describe a recurring compulsion by an individual to engage in some specific activity, despite harmful consequences to the individual's health, mental state or social life. 

Unlike the drug addict , alcoholic or even compulsive gambler, a food addict cannot be deterred from their vice.  We must all eat to live.  But it is learning how to eat, what to eat and when to eat that is the struggle.  Would you tempt  an alcoholic with one drink and expect them to understand and/or abide by moderation?  This is what an overeater must face every single day.  Now I truly understand the slogan, "One Day at a Time."

I had the surgery on February 4th -- 11:00 Am in the morning at Yale/New Haven hospital.  Here I am, at home, four days later and down 11 pounds!  This is completely unfathomable to me!  Don't get me wrong.  When I first came out of the surgery I wondered what in the hell I did to myself as the pain was more than what I was expecting. The pain is getting better and better each day and it seems like the scale is getting lower and lower each time I step on it. 

Now, that is something I need to stop doing!  I can't get on the scale every time I go to the bathroom.  But I'm sure I'm not the only to be doing this, I'm sure most people on here have as it is truly amazing to see the scale move so much.  It feels so good to finally be on the other side!

This is what I felt like when my husband and I set our wedding date.  The anticipation is overwhelming.  It's a new start and I absolutely cannot wait.

FEBRUARY 4, 2008

Am I ever going to get the call?  I'm going crazy waiting for the phone call to schedule my one-on-one appointment.  It was suppose to happen a lot sooner than this.  I have been speaking to Liz at the dr.s office since before Christmas.  Each time I talk to her she says she'll be calling me the following day with a date - this was the week before Christmas!  Now, here I am January 10th and practically going out of my skin!  I honestly don't know how much longer I am going to last.  Every day that goes by I get more and more disgusted with myself and I just wanted my new chapter to begin.  Is there an end in sight?

I've had my group appointment in New Haven -- Dr. Duffy said that it is three to four more weeks from this point!  So January is it!!  I can't believe I am this close.  This is going to be the longest month of my life.  I am so anxious to start my new journey and my new transformation. 

Well, Here I sit, one year after I joined this website and yet to have surgery.  As I stated in my one and only  post - I was trying to get pregnant.  I did!  I had twin boys on August 8th.  It was very difficult becoming a mother to two in addition to my already one - four year old.  But after three months of getting into our own groove, I am ready to continue to pursue the surgery.  I contacted Dr. Bell's office today.  Because it has almost been a year since my appointments, I may have to start all over again.  The nurse will call me this week to let me know definitely which direction I will need to go.  Either way, I am 100% in this and ready to change my life.

Today is Christmas Day 2006.  I'm looking forward to a new year and a new me.  I have not yet had surgery and don't expect to until next fall as I am hoping to get pregnant anytime.  Although, I have beunt he pre-op process.  The more and more I see the success stories on this website, the more anxious I become.  2007 is definitely going to be my year!