lucylightfoot

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Well, I'm on my way to see Dr. Barker @ the hospital!!  Surgery starts at 5:30pm, and I am more than excited. I'm ready to get this show on the road!!

Thanks to everyone who is going with me, who supports me, or who prays for me.  You guys are the best.

~~Smooches for the Looser's Bench. I'm on my way!

Perhaps I'm the only one, but my nerves are on edge today.  It feels like I have a ton on last minute things to do to prepare for guest and the surgery, and I'm running out of time.

I'm trying to hold it together, and but for my husband and son, I don't know what I would be accomplishing right now.  My son is Mr. I-got-this-mom, and my husband is my coach, although a little impatient sometimes.

I guess things are weird because my mom is coming to visit and help "take care of me" although she is the one who needs to be taken care of...

My favorite aunt is bringing her, which helps calm my nerves. But, dang, I thought this day was going to be smooth sailing, and it''s not.  Instead, it's another one of those opportunities that I get to observe how imperfect I am, and how things don't go well when you don't plan well or communicate well.

So, that's how this day is going-nutz I tell you--lol!  But guess what, I don't have jitters about the surgery tomorrow. It's just getting through this day that's affecting my need to have things in order.

Oh well, I guess we all have these kiind of days sometimes.  Today just happens to be mine.

Well guys, yesterday was day 1 of the liquid diet, and overall, I think it went  well...of course until I woke up at 2am this morning with one of the worst migraines I've ever had.  It took hours to get rid of it. But, I'm still light sensitive!  So I'm in the bed blogging with the darkest sun shades I could find....

The good news is that I'm not hungry!  The better news is that I have my mind and emotions under check so I don't feel remorseful that I can't eat per se--just drink, which is cool.

Against my better judgment, I jumped on the scales this morning (after just weighing myself yesterday at 266).  And wala-- I was 269.  Imagine that?  Water weight perhaps--who knows, who cares, I'm not going to let the little fluxuations get me down, although I know 3 gained pounds in one night is no joking matter. But, you know the saying, let's laugh to keep from crying.

That's it for now. I'm resigned to the idea that today is going to be great because I'm not going to give in to any type of migraine madness. So, I'm off to the races. I'm going to go enjoy some of our Texas heat!

Well, I am one week away from my big day, and I started my liquid diet this morning.  The few selected family members that know about my surgery have been very supportive...especially my husband, mom, & son.  I have mixed emotions today, perhaps in part because work has been stressful.  I have a very stressful profession in general, and the workplace environment I'm in now is more stressful than most places like it...

With that being said, I still have a hint of excitement mixed with a little anxiety, which I'm sure is normal.  I weighed today and I was down to 266, which I feel pretty good about because at the last doctor's visit I think I was 274 (or something really close).

One thing that I wonder about is the tid-bid of forgetfulness that I've been experiencing--which I think is caused by job stress and anxiety about "what happens" post-op...with my body and more interestingly, how I'm going to function at work.

The  liquid diet is going ok so far...it's 2:40pm, and I haven't had a melt-down or major craving for FOOD--lol, which I think is great. I've had to do liquids before. So, I feel kinda like a veteran. 

Fortunately, I like to drink water and herbal teas... I find both soothing to my soul.  So, a couple of weeks of this (pre & post surgery), and I should be chilly-willy.  Perhaps, nothing will bother me at work...which is my guess anyway once I really start loosing weight!

One last thing--I really am thankful to the support from the people who have offered expressions of kindness and understanding on the OH forum.  You guys have been extremely inspirational and encouraging.  THANK YOU!

Let's Dance...


I guess you can tell that I am estactic!

Well, Dr. Barker's staff did what they promised to do--expedite all of my pre-surgery appointments and requirements so that they could send in my insurance by May 12, 2009--and guess what, I AM APPROVED as of this morning, May 20, 2009!!!  YAYA!! 
Let's all do the happy dance

Afterall, I started this journey about a month ago (May 16, 2009 I believe) with my first appointment with Dr. Barker.

He and his staff have been great!  I go in for my pre-op consult and to schedule my surgery date TOMORROW--YES, that fast!  They called me today to approve me, and I'm scheduled for tomorrow to get the magic date .

I am truly on the road to a new and improved me with more control and more disclipline! 

I am happy to join the ranks of those who have gotten that  "you're approved" call, and I'll be even happier to report a surgery date tomorrow.

This is simply an awesome day, and I appreciatae the support that I have received on this OH site.

Thanks guys. You've been blessings!!

~~Luce

Well, Saturday I completed the EGD, and today I saw the nutritionist and the cardiologist.  I have to go in this Wednesday night for a sleep study, Friday for a psych evaluation, and next Monday for a stress test.

I don't know why I couldn't just do the stress test today...kinda feels like an insurance milking (lol).

Nonetheless, I am anxious about everything it seems....but especially about the surgery & life after the surgery.  I can  only hope at this point that I am making the right decisions and that things are going to go well.  I would be lying if I said it wasn't a little scary, especially since this is a somewhat lonely journey.

Sure, I have my husband's support. But, no one can take the pre-op test, go through the surgery, or do what it takes post-op to stay healthy, heal, renew, exercise, eat right, etc.  These things aren't group activities when you do a real analysis.  You can't decide you're not going to do this or that post-op just because your husband or kids don't feel like joining you.  And, of course no one will be joining you in the operating room...

Forgive me if I digress. I'm not trying to be negative. Reality is just sitting in, and excitement has turned into anxiety.

I know the bible says be anxious for nothing, but with prayer and supplication make your request known to God.  So, that's the pill I'm swallowing tonight for the pre-op jitters.

Well, this is a new experience for me--just as seeking surgery is.  Don't get me wrong, I've had a series of surgeries over the last few years. But, I really tried to avoid them as oppose to seeking them out.  I've had two myomectomies, a total hysterectomy, an appendectomy, and as though that weren't enought I had my gallbladder removed in 2007, which means 2008 was relatively quiet--other than loosing 60 lbs just to gain 75 lbs after the fact!! 

The weight loss-weight gain yo-yoing is so discouraging; and it's probably why I am now seeking surgery.  I'm tired of feeling bad and looking even worst.  I likewike wholeheartedly believe that I will feel so much better after surgery based on the things I've read here on OH as well as from the staff at Dr. Wade Barkers' office. 

Interestingly, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia before I started gaining all of this weight. I wore a size 6 and weighed 134--yes, I thought I was cute (I'll post pics--lol).  Sorry, I don't mean for vanity to help me loose my point--which was, there was a sense in Dr. Barkers' office that the fibro really was just symptoms of being morbidly obese rather than really having the forever elusive fibromyalgia. 

But, my real point is that I had the fibro symptoms well before I was considered obsese, let alone morbidly obese.  While I am confident, the weight gain did not help the fibro, I keep wondering--to the point that I am down right hopeful that the fibro symptoms will go away totally with the weight loss after surgery.

I would be interested in feedback from anyone that has had specific experience in this area.  Please feel free to let me know the skinny on the issue of fibro post surgery.

Thanks, Lucy