LorraineC44

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woke up at 6am so excited to go home.

Doctor comes in at 7am to give me the green light to go home.

Nurse gives me all the paperwork, precription etc... i text Karen to let her know that she can come anytime...I am free :-)

I text her again...still no response. I called - no answer - called again left a message

finally about 9:30 or so she texts to say sorry fell asleep on the couch, she is going to brush her hair/teeth and head out.

called Dr. Tse to make appointment, need my regular prescription. Receptionist says she will get me right in to see her so i don't have to wait. Text Karen to make sure she is on her way - 10:35 she texts me back to say she is on the 401.

11am comes and goes and nothing. 11:30 and I am worried i won't make Dr Tse' office. Karen texts about 11:40 to say she has to find a bank machine for parking...tell her i have cash on me just come. 12noon - texts to say the elevators aren't working arghhhh!! I wait by the elevators as soon as the doors open i jump on and say do not get off. Get to the lobby she wants a coffee - give her $5 to buy coffee, but feels the need to stand and tell me a story i finally say go get in line its lunch time and getting busy you can tell me after. she comes out and some old woman asks he if she can buy a cigarette from her, she says i don't smoke then continues to lecture her about smoking...I finally say can we please go home!!!

Finally get to her car traffic is terrible, but finally on the highway and have 15min to get to Dr Tse. whew finally there...Dr. Tse of course digs about me being wrong about the time released medication - good grief she is a bitch!

Done, prescriptions in hand and finally heading home...oh no Karen needs a sunglass repair kit - of course that is more important that me getting home after 4 days of hell!! so we go to the dollar store - another $5 and she is gone for at least 20 mins - comes back with a pop, crazy glue, batteries and a sunglass repair kit.

as we are driving to my place i say that I know how bad her allergies are she can just drop me off rather that coming up to my zoo??!! nope she decides to come up and finds the duck - arghhhhh finally 4pm she leaves and I can have some lunch!

Ryan's birthday dinner at Red Lobster - I decided that I feel good enough to go! Tell Morgan to come home as early as possible and we will go out for dinner. Had a nice time - I couldn't eat anything, but that's OK

Home about 10pm made my dinner when I go home

Off to bed around 11pm worried about how low my bed is...no problem at all. I have ZERO pain!

Feeling great!!

So happy to be home!

Clearly not going home today...the Doctor came in early to say it is quite normal to have some bleeding at the staple sites. (after reading my paperwork afterwards 2% of patients have this). she thought that it should clear up in a 'few' days but they just want to monitor my blood work to ensure my hemoglobin doesn't drop to far, and my blood pressure doesn't drop. She said if it was red blood that would be new/fresh blood, but mine is dark red, purple, nearly black and that is a sign of old dried blood just exiting my body. whew...I started to cry b/'c everyone had me mental thinking I was destined for the OR again! I have never felt so relieved!

I forget the exact order, but first the pain pump came off then while in the TV room my battery was dying on my IV pump so i went back to my room only to find out that I killed the machine (apparently if you let the battery die, they have to be sent in for service...boy did that battery company see them coming - sad how these companies screw government companies...if they would think for a minute about trying to save $$ maybe our taxes wouldn't have to be raised every 10 minutes!)

Later the IV pump was removed and I was finally free - first order of business SHOWER!! man do I stink!!

Have a nice shower, get dressed (in my hospital gown) and chill out for a bit. Decide to go for a walk down to the TV room. Oh yeah guess who is in there - yup Anthony bitching about the guy last night not letting him play after he had waited for hours (WOW and this an adult - in his 20's anyways!!) So as I am sitting in the public TV room watching this little fuck play his game his phone rings so now the game is on pause and I get the privilege of listening to his phone call. I don't know if it was a drug deal or what but the conversation when something like this...yeah tell him to knock on the door don't just drive his bike up to my Mom's house and sit outside - go to the door....no I don't know many she has left, I will call her. Next call not in english but the jist is that she has 7 left. Now a call back to the other guy. all this time he has his shoes off in the middle of the floor and his disgusting bloody toes 1/2 wrapped up and the guaze and tape on the seat beside him while he chews his fingernails and spits them out onto the floor - what a disgusting pig - like a freaking immature child. Anyhow finally had enough of listening to his conversation and spitting his finger nails decide to head back to my room.

Come back about 2pm and the guy in shackles is in the room and all the lights are off WOW. anyhow get into a conversation with this guy, Doug is his name and he is being deported - boring story LOL. So Anthony the punk comes in to find out when he can play his game - between the 2 of them they decide he can play from 4-8 then he want to watch the game Really?? how about me, or how about other people in this hospital?? I leave pissed off - ya i know i should have said something.

Back to my room, annoyed!

8pm head back, he should be done playing...no such luck! As I am walking back to my room I run into Pauline, his nurse (my nurse a couple nights ago) and I tell her how pissed off I am, that he has been playing his game for 4hrs and no one said anything to him. She was surprised the other nurse said nothing to him?? anyhow back to my room

about 10pm I see pauline and she tells me that Anthony told her that I didn't mind??!! I said no I don't mind for 20 mins / 1/2 hour but not 4hrs or even an hour...why would I want to sit and watch anyone play a fucking game for that long...what an idiot!

Anyhow I have been giving the 'amber' light for home tomorrow. Texted Karen to make sure she is able to pick me up around 11am - she said no problem! Decided to just to be bed and wake up in the morning ready to go home!!!

So this morning I feel the urge to poop again and I am just praying that I have no more bloody poop...that really scared me. I can feel it's not 'just' watery, but still pretty loose. I wipe and and my heart sunk when I found it was blood again. I left Katie (my nurse) know. as I am heading down the hall I can hear he asking which Dr. is on call and explains that I have excessive amounts of blood in my stool - no I am petrified.

Pain management comes to talk to me, they are going to take me off the pump, and put me back on Oxycontin (my regular dosage) i inquired about time release medication as I was sure I was told that after the surgery you cannot take this type of medication - I guess I heard wrong (Oh my Dr. is just going to wallow in this!). So the idea of off the pump tomorrow and on oral medication...yipppee!!!

Back to my room I ask Katie and the night nurse what is happening. They tell me that with that amount of blood they worry about blood loss and they have been ordered to take blood tests every 6-8hrs checking to see if my hemoglobin drops (which is sign of blood loss). My hemoglobin dropped to 88 (over 120 is normal, but after surgery it usually decreases). there is now talk of blood transfusions, but my biggest fear is that they will have to operate again (thinking in my head that I survived the first time, but maybe the next time I won't be so lucky).

During the day I made my way to the TV room to find this young punk playing his playstation game (why anyone would be allowed to bring their videogame to the hospital is beyond me??!!) He asks me if I mind or would I like to watch TV I say I would prefer to watch TV and he says fine but we are watching what I want to watch...little fucking prick! So I have to watch this show about a volcano that arupted in El Salvador or something like that...said it was a show about his ancestors. Guess thinking i was a stupid as his GF felt the need to clarify that he is from this country...like i wouldn't be able to figure out that was what 'ancestors' meant LOL! Sick of this already I get up and leave.

Later that night i venture back to the TV room as I go the walk in Pauline (my night nurse from May 23rd) says are you sure you want to go in there? I peek in and see a guy sitting shackles, the idiot kid (Anthony I find out is his name) wanting to play his game and 3 guards. I head in not sure who/why this guy is in shackles, but I need a place to sit so I can plug my machine in. I guess they had been arguing about watching TV and Anthony playing his game?! The nurse gave Anthony an hour play (until 9:30pm) and then they would come back and watch TV. I had enough decided to go back to my room. GRRRR

Give Grandma a call (maybe on Thursday, can't remember)

Nurses coming in to test vitals, and give me blood thinners to prevent clotting. They want you up and walking often, so I walked down the hall to the TV room - for something to do.

I am surprised at how good I feel. Hardly any pain - just really the incision sites and that is tolerable. But i am no the pain pump so that's likely why.

Supposed to be going home tomorrow, but I guess we will see?

I noticed last night another girl came in and I overheard that she had the same surgery as me. I tried a couple times to spark up a conversation with her, but she clearly wasn't interested. Wondered if we had met/spoke on this site (OH)

Had Katie again during the day - I do really like her - we had a nice long talk about weight and told her about my horse, etc...I told her overnight the CA came in a couple times and sprayed so much deodorant spray I could barely breath - that she woke me up a couple times in the night (one of my roommates had a commode in her room and had many stinky poops during her stay). not sure what was worse the smell of the old lady's shit or the spray. Katie and Pauline (the night nurse) asked me speak with their manager about this b/c it had happened quite a bit and even though the staff complains if patients don't complain then nothing ever gets done/corrected. I agreed to speak with her and she come over to speak to me. Felt bad, don't like to get anyone in trouble, but I thought if that was my Mom, she would likely have an asthma attack!I

I have the feeling that I need to poop so head to the bathroom. As soon as I sit down I start peeing from my butt. Holy cow does it ever stink but I have to runs big time...figure just must be from the anesthetic?! I wipe and turn to flush to find the toilet looking like a scene from carrie (the movie). the entire toilet is dark/purple blood - what a mess. I am scared out of my mind and call for the nurse. They were pretty good at keeping cool about, but ordered me back to bed right away. I had no indication anything was wrong (for now).

7:30 is the shift change and tonight I have a new nurse and her sidekick who is a nursing student at U of T. OMG what an idiot, she comes in to give me the blood thinner and does it right at the back of my arm - even though i told her that is a really sensitive spot and I thought it would hurt. She told me that's where they told them to do them b/c they don't hurt as much...bullshit - that freaking shot must have stung for 1/2 hour!! not to mention she was a pain in the ass all night. She comes in with my tylenol and even though i told her to cut them just in half she quarters each pill...and now instead of 4 pcs i now have 8. I really hope this one doesn't come back!

Early night...bored out of my skull

Up at 4am - had my 2nd shower with the medicated sponge - stinks like rubbing alcohol.

by 5:30am I was downstairs waiting for Mom and Doug...panicking that they slept in - called/text, then saw them pull in...now it's getting real - I'm on my way to the hospital.

Arrived to the hospital/parking at 5:45am - the parking attendant doesn't come in until 6am. we waited around for a few minutes but when he wasn't there by a couple minutes after 6 we headed in/upstairs. But not before a drunken bum was stopped at the entrance where we had to go through the doors - yuk!

Head up to the 5th floor admission and now I am shaking like a leaf. All my paperwork is prepared and we are asked to take a seat in the "waiting room" ?? this room has gold trimmings and high wingback chairs - decorated like the lobby of a upscale hotel. It sure looked nothing like a sterile hospital waiting room - I guess it was to be relaxing...like you could actually forget why you were there LOL. We sit for a few minutes, Mom and Doug attempt conversations but I find it hard to focus. My name is called within a few minutes and I am shuffled to a room with a blue easyboy type chair and provided with a gown, cap and booties. I ask Mom to stay with me. My clothes and shoes are put into plastic bags. One last trip to the washroom. The the nurses came to check my vital signs and give me a couple of medicated clothes to wipe down my belly. Then the show up with this little machine with a hose attached. This is hooked up to my gown and warm air is pumped inside my gown during surgery to keep my body at a constant temperature. it was a bit too warm to keep on while sitting there waiting. A few minutes later the nurse comes to bring me to the OR waiting room but only 1 person can come (Mommy) and they are given instructions to be waiting in the golden waiting room about 1 1/2 hrs after I am taken in for surgery and the Doctor will come and speak with them to let them know how everything went.

in the OR waiting room there are more blue lazy boy chairs, Mom and I sit and wait there. The anestesiologist comes to speak with me - really, really nice man! 7:30am and my phone rings (text) from Jeff (at work) such a nice guy...texting to wish me luck! The nurse comes to get me and we are headed for our walk to the OR. Can't bring my cane with me, so it's a bit slow but that was OK. It felt so weird to be walking down this hallway - there were about 8-10 operating rooms all getting prepared for surgeries. Doctors and nurses, etc...scrubbing up, dressing in their surgery garb...now this is getting real! My OR is the 2nd from then end. I walk and see a familiar face...the surgeon that I met with the very first time on Feb 7, 2012 and I say to her, "Hey I remember you". she says, "Wow you have a great memory". I remembered asking her if she would be doing the surgery (hoping she would be), she stated that she may be doing it, it would just depend on the day. I asked her again if she would be performing the surgery -  she said that yes she would, but Dr Grandcharov would be there as well.

I hope up on this huge bed (with quite some effort) and shimmy my way to the pillow. I am officially scared out of my mind - all the equipment, all the chatter that I am not involved in. The anestesiologist tells me that he is going to put in the IV but first he will freeze the area because it is a really large needle. Once the IV is in he tells me he is putting something in, I can't remember what he said, but as soon as he did I felt a strange tingling feeling in my 'vaginal area' and asked is that normal to feel tingling "down there"?? I lifted my head and said to the surgeon, "please do a great job" and with that I was out (catching up on my missed sleep from last night) zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

I wake up in agony in the recovery room - (Whew, I was so worried) seems like forever before they are able to get my pain under control. Seems to all be in my back - just awful! When I am finally awake enough and the pain somewhat under control I realize I have to pee and bad!!! I was told for the 1st day I would have a catheter in and asked if I did...but from what i can remember previously you never 'feel' the urge to pee...the bag just fills up and you really have no idea you have even pee'd.

the nurse offers a bed pan to which I agree. The slip it under my butt and I attempt to pee...nothin' She asks if I want to sit up a bit perhaps that will help, good idea...still nothing. I try to close my eyes and envision me sitting on the toilet - nuttin'. Another nurse offers to turn on the water...then yells across the room, "Can you hear it" - yes I could, but I still couldn't go and now my tummy/bladder is quite sore. They were so nice, they rushed to get me to my room and left a note saying that I really needed to go the washroom when I arrived in my room.

As I am leaving the recovery room, I notice Mommy in the hallway (likely pacing the floor). I yell to her and she says, "finally" I guess the Doctor told her that I should be out of recovery in a couple hours, which would have been around noon and now it was after 1pm - she was getting worried...poor mommie!

Get to Rm 108 and I tell my nurse how badly I have to go the washroom - a couple nurses give me hand and I finally go pee!!! LOL

The nurse checks my vital signs and notices that my heart rate is pounding way too hard and my blood pressure is quite high. The nurse jokes and tells Mom and Doug to leave me alone to get some rest, but they were heading out anyhow. (mom said she had to get home to her dog LOL) She said that Karen was coming around 3pm.

around 5:45 or so Brad calls me to ask what room I am in, I tell him I think it's 108 on the 16th then in walks Katie, then Ryan then Brad and Karen. We had a nice visit for about an hour or so, then they had to bring Ryan to his military thingy on thursdays.

Got up and went for another walk with them since everyone wasn't allowed in my room. Ryan needed to shave otherwise he would get in shit tonight so we asked for a razor and some cream...fixed him all up LOL

After they left had a good sleep...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I am sure I was woke a couple times in the night zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...zzzzzz

Surgery tomorrow - I have to call the hospital between 12:30pm and 2:30pm to find out my surgery time. Called at 12:29:56 and I assume I was the first person to get through as I got the first appointment at 7:45am, have to be at the hospital at 6:15am. Called Nan to let her know that they should pick me up at 5:30am.

Can hardly work, cannot keep focused for more than 10 minutes. Stayed at work until about 8pm making sure everything was done and trying to make Heather's life a bit easier.

Got home and told Morgan my surgery time and asked if she still planned on coming - she said yes and then made a comment something along the lines of well we shouldn't be too long?! I said you guys aren't just dropping me off and leaving. They will be staying until I have had the surgery and come out of recovery. I could tell by the look on her face she wasn't expecting to be there that long so i told her if she didn't want to come it was fine - she jumped all over that...I have to admit I was a bit disappointed!

Made the kids (morgan/Mike) and went to bed fairly early...not that I could sleep. I made sure i set all my alarms for 4am and watched TV. Last time I checked the clock it was around 1am - yikes 3hrs to sleep!

Sleep finally came...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Well today is the first day of Opti-fast. I try the chocolate figured I would like it better than vanilla and sure enough...I love it. It is actually quite yummy. but now I will run out of Chocolate if I only eat them - so I decided to mix choc/van together...not bad either. The only time it's gross is if I make it in advance and it gets warm (room temperature) then it smells like alcohol. I sure felt sorry for anyone who spent anytime talking to me up close, my breath could have knocked someone over LOL

I had no trouble with the opti fast, couple times I was quite hungry but I never cheated, not even 1x. At the beginning I could only manage 3 per day, but as the time went on I started have 4 per day at times (not too may days) and I also did have some jello and chicken broth a few times.

it was really good with a few ice cubes mixed up in the bullet!

Have about a case and 1/2 of vanilla left over.

Today is my preadmission (PATTS) appointment. I took the day off work since it is scheduled for approx. 2hrs. Got their early...sheesh this whole process has done something to me - I am NEVER late for anything anymore...my family still can't believe it's me thats on time.

Today met with a very nurse who took all my vitals, then another nurse came in to take ECG. Once all the test were run the anestesioligist came in to have a look at my neck/throat and discuss the surgery and my allergies.

Done by noon or so - headed home then up to the farm.

Tomorrow I start Opti-fast, not looking forward to this at all. Not just because of NO FOOD but it tasted disgusting - how the hell am I going to be able to do this for 2 weeks (14 days)???

Tonight is my LAST MEAL LOL - said to Morgan I want something good - well turns out we left the farm quite late and just grabbed McDonald's on the way home. but I did make sure that I grabbed my last container of ROLO ice cream before tomorrow. I tried to eat the entire container but just couldn't do it but did manage to scarf back about 1/2.

Yikes tomorrow...no more food for 2 weeks!!

during one of my appointments I was asked if I would like to sign up for Tele-CBT study. (Telephone based congnitive Behavioural Therapy for bariatric surgery patients). Thought this would be a great idea.

Mid Jan I received an email from one of the Psychometrist, Chau Du, asking if I was still interested in the program and what day/time would be best for me. I responded advising that I would to see the Surgeon on Jan 25th and hoped my surgery would be shortly after that?! I wanted to ensure my involvement in this program wouldn't hold up my surgery date...and if that were the case I would prefer not to be involved.

Chau ensured me that 1. my surgery would not be that quick and 2. that if my surgery date did come up before the sessions were completed we could work it out so I would be able to finish up afterwards.

I decided to sign up and it was the best thing I have done for myself. This program/therapy taught me to not be so hard on myself if I do make a mistake. Helped me to realize why and how I gained so much weight. Most importantly it taught me to give myself a break! I truly enjoyed the entire program (have all the sessions in hard copy and they were emailed to my work email address)

So excited, I have been told that we order our Opti-fast today (decided to 1/2 vanilla / 1/2 chocolate) and find out our surgery date. I finally meet Dr. Grandcharov who told me because I was originally referred to St. Mike's that is where my surgery would be and they also follow that hospitals procedures. At St. Mike's they do not pre-book anyone's surgery, I will get a call about a month or so before my surgery date to let me know when my PATTs (preadmission appt) and surgery date is going to be. I asked a couple people and got a few different answers. The first was May/June, but Dr. Grandcharov thought it would more likely July or August. So disappointing...but I thought oh well this just gives me more time to figure it all out. I wasn't going to let this discourage me!