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I have been away from OH for over 6 months.  I have been extremely busy at work and have traveled quite a bit the past few months.  I have had easy access to all types of gourmet foods and desserts at almost every meal and I have slacked a little in my exercise.  All in all, I am now up 10lbs from my ideal maintenance range. 

OK, now that I have that off my chest, it is time to refocus.  I recently went back to my doc for a tiny fill, which has helped more than I thought it would.  I knew that I was ravenous and that food just didn't stick with me, but I blamed it on all of the poor food choices that I was making vs. doing a truthful comparison of my restriction from the past.  I have always maintained my band on the loose side because I have been terrified of complications, so it took a lot for me to even think about getting a small tweak.

I feel like I now have regained a bit of my willpower and am refocused on my diet and exercise, already losing a good 2-3 lbs.  It's amazing the power of focus for achieving a goal.

Wow, I can't believe that the day has finally come to post about my experience with the band one year out.  It has been a truly incredible year and I have learned so much about life during this time.  Here are just a few of the key points:

(1) I realize that I knew very little about proper nutrition and exercising techniques a year ago.  Now, I know what I need to do to stay healthy . . . whether I choose to follow the rules, on the other hand, will always be completely up to me.  I have worked my band to the max and it really can't help me any more from this point forward - i.e., more restriction won't change any more behaviors.  That's a scary thought . . .

(2) It is hard to imagine, but my husband and I have actually gotten even closer the past year.  He began watching what he ate and exercising a few months after I started and it has given us yet another activity to do together.   Our girls have benefited from the positive behavior changes as well - more nutritious foods and much more exercise overall for all of us.  A year ago, I thought that I was being selfish for wanting surgery for myself.  Now, I realize that it was a watershed moment for my entire family and I am so happy for that.

(3) The band/losing weight is no longer the biggest obsession in my life these days.  I am back to being thoroughly engaged in my work and my career and my family time.  Another scary thought, since this is how I started putting the weight on the first time.  I have to keep myself focused to make sure that I stay within my maintenance range and it is not easy to do.

I have written in posts lately that the band is just one tool that is used to get to a healthier lifestyle and I hope that any new folks looking at my profile or looking into the band really take that to heart. 

P.S.  I should mention that I waited 3 months to get my first fill, have had only 4 fills, and no unfills.  My restriction is not tight and I can still swallow pills whole and eat bread, rice, and pasta.  I have decided to keep my band on the loose side to avoid long-term risks and also because it better reflects my own lifestyle - I want to be able to enjoy good foods on occasion and not embarrass myself with stuck episodes in front of co-workers.

I went to a formal family function this past weekend for which I had bought a whole new outfit.  I really take pride (and therefore invest the time) in how I look these days and how I put together my style, paying attention to detail in everything from hair & makeup to dress, shoes, and accessories.  I felt great and confident, but was still blown away when one of my family members came up to me and told me that I looked "stunning" and that I looked "just like Victoria Beckham".  I thanked him and told him that this was the very best compliment ever!  I love VB's style and glam and being compared to someone whose fashion sense I idolize really made me feel like a million bucks.  It goes to show that it is so much more than just what you weigh or what size you are - it is all about how you present yourself that matters most.

Meanwhile, I have still been struggling with late night munchies for a while now.  It seems that every time I try to get back on track, I fall right back off.  Fortunately, my weight has not fluctuated very much, but I fear bad things happening if I don't get this under control.  I know that the stress eating is from my new job (just got a great promotion at work), but I have to try to find another outlet - e.g., I may have to go back to walking on the treadmill in the evenings to distract myself.  Luckily, I will be taking some time off this week and will try to come up with some strategies to get myself organized again.

Lastly, given that this week is Thanksgiving and that I am coming up on my one year anniversary, I would be remiss if I did not mention how much of a blessing my band has been and how thankful I am for it.  It is exactly what I needed to change my lifestyle.
 

They say that diamonds are a girl's best friend.  Actually, my husband is my very best friend  and, having never been into fancy jewelry, I never really understood this phrase . . . until now. 

A few years ago, I lost my precious engagement ring and 5-yr anniversary band during a chaotic time of massive construction in my house.  I had stopped wearing the rings because they had gotten too snug around my fingers to wear comfortably everyday.  Regardless of whether they were stolen or simply misplaced, I have felt so saddened by the loss of something so important to me - not only because of the financial value of the rings, but also because of their sentimental value.

This year, my husband and I celebrated our 15th year wedding anniversary.  After looking around quite a bit, I found an anniversary band at Tiffany's that I fell in love with.  I could not believe when they measured my ring size how small my fingers had gotten!  No wonder that my wedding band, which was my last piece of good jewelry, was so loose on me.  It made me even more sad to think of the rings that I lost that would have actually fit on me now .

We definitely splurged big time on this ring, but there was so much emotion tied to it that we suspended all practicality for a moment.  The fact that I had lost my other rings, there were marriages around us breaking up out of the blue, and my husband and I had both lost a considerable amount of weight (which made us realize just how far we had drifted from our youthful bodies), made this ring a symbol of our journey together.  So, although the economic side of my brain was telling me to put the money from my recent sale of company stock towards paying down a good chunk of the mortgage, my emotional side was nagging at me to use the money for something completely experiential.  Hey, at least it wasn't a depreciating asset like a new car, right?

Wow, I have definitely changed a lot since being banded last December.  I find that I am living life so much more fully than I was before and that I am enjoying more of the present vs. waiting and saving to enjoy something potentially in the future.  I am so thankful for making the decision to do something about my weight - it has made more of a difference in my life than I ever would have thought.  Now, I look forward to enjoying life with both my internal band and my new external band!!

Well, the Fall season is upon us and I am so loving life right now.  I have continued to lose weight because of my exercise - wieghed in at 122.4lbs yesterday!  I really can't believe it.  This is the general weight that I was when I first met my hubby back in college.  It feels really wonderful.

Since I absolutely love the fact that I can actually buy truly fashionable clothes now, I went shopping for a few Fall must-haves.  I picked up a sweater dress, which I simply adore and two pairs of knee high boots.  I have waited so long to wear knee high boots again.  I absolutely love them and can't wait to pair them with my dresses and skirts for work. 

Right now, I am also playing around with my diet and exercise again because I really don't want to lose any more weight.  Some of the clothing that I tried on were size 2, which was a little scary.  I have to admit to indulging in desserts and other treats the past few weekends and I purposely took this weekend off from exercise.  We'll see how it goes this week, but it may be a matter of tweaking little things here and there until I get to the right balance.  Maintaining a solid size 4 and between 123 - 126 would be ideal for me, I think.

I am happy (for now) that I decided not get another fill last month.  I was able to enjoy a big dinner out last night with my family and friends without any issues whatsoever.  Yes, I ate way more than I should have, but again it is all about finding balance in life.  If I find myself indulging too much, I may need to get a tweak, but I am hoping that I can do the maintenance on my own will power.  Besides, I need to maintain to keep wearing those awesome Fall outfits, right??

Well, I just got back from a great mini-vacation with the family and officially hit my goal of 130lbs this week.  I feel great and my plan now is to continue with my diet and exercise to see where my natural body weight lands - shouldn't be more than 5 or so more lbs, I would guess.

My husband and I went to Niagara Falls this past week with our girls and had the best time.  We walked back and forth across the border several times and enjoyed many of the parks and tourist sites.  First, we visited a local amusement park and had a blast on the water rides and coasters.  Of course, we had to do the "Maid of the Mist" boat tour as well as the "Cave of the Winds" walking tour along the falls and we got completely drenched.  My favorite moment of the trip was when I looked up at my husband while we were on the boat.  He had mist and water drops streaming along his cheeks.  He looked down at me and smiled like he was the happiest man on earth.  In that single moment, I fell in love with him all over again.

On Saturday night, we went to a local vineyard/winery for dinner and had a wonderful meal.  I knew going in that I would let down my guard a little and enjoy myself at this dinner.  So, we enjoyed two flights of wine (tasting of six different wines), amazing bread with port butter, delicious appetizers and meals, and then dessert and cappuccinos.  The atmosphere of the winery grounds made the meal even more enjoyable.  We ended the evening with a stop by the wine shop where we sampled and purchased our first Canadian Ice Wine and made arrangements for how we would enjoy the wine during one of our future anniversaries.

So, what's the moral of the story?  Getting to goal this week was exactly as it should be - anti-climatic.  It took a complete backseat to the life that I was enjoying and living in the moment.  I am very proud of the hard work that I have done the past few months, but now all that is past and I am looking forward to living my life to the fullest and enjoying special moments without concern for my health or being embarrassed by my appearance.

I've said it before and I will say it again . . . I really  my band!!

I went for my third fill today since I had lost some restriction over the past several weeks.  I ended up with about 1.3ccs giving me a total of almost 8ccs.

As I was waiting for my turn to get into the radiology room (all fills done under fluoro with my doc), I saw the tech come out, look around, and then look back at his chart with a puzzled look on his face.  He looked up again and saw that I was the only person in the waiting area and asked if I was the patient, all the time with a questioning look on his face.  I said that I was and he exclaimed "Wow, you're the skinniest band patient I've ever seen!".  I just laughed as I followed him into the room.  Clearly, he was young and uninformed about what happens when you get the band - you actually lose weight!!  But, his comment brought a smile to my face nonetheless, since I took it as a compliment and reinforcement of how far I had come.

This fill was so easy.  Hardly any needle pain and the doc was great with adjusting, testing, and then adjusting again until we got it just right for both of us.

They say that "the third time's the charm", so we will soon see if my third fill keeps me at ideal restriction.  So far, so good.  Liquids have been going down very easily.  Tomorrow will be soft foods, next day back to regular foods.  If nothing else, I am hoping to have enough restriction to gain back the mental power and motivation to get these last few lbs off.

I was away for business last week in beautiful Colorado.  The weather was great and I even got to run along some very nice trails by the mountains and water.  Boy, Colorado really caters to a healthy lifestyle - jogging/biking trails everywhere and plenty of trail mix and protein bars in almost every retail outlet.

Anyways, I got back home feeling great, but found that I had suddenly lost all restriction, had family functions full of food to attend, and quite honestly lost a little bit of my motivation.  I had several horrible days of non-stop snacking and poor food choices.  I honestly don't know why this happened.  Maybe because people have started to question whether I really need to lose any more weight or maybe because I just needed a little break - I just don't know.  It also didn't help that every time I reached into my closet for something, it was always too big and I had to pin it just so that it didn't fall down.  I was getting SO tired of having to buy new clothes.  I was getting tired of losing weight, quite honestly, and just wanted to be done with it.  I had even stopped exercising for a few days.

In any case, my ambivolence to reaching my goal started getting to me.  Why was I giving up just 10lbs from my goal??  I suddenly got really scared that I was headed down a path of regain and realized that I needed to get myself out of this rut I was in.  So, I decided to get my butt back in gear and kick these last few lbs to the curb.  I re-energized myself by picking up the pace on my running and setting new fitness goals.  This really helped a lot, as exercise always makes my body feel good.  I also went shopping for some new clothes and to my surprise, I was now in a size 6!!  Exactly the kind of thing to help me out of my rut.  I have felt so good wearing my well-fitting outfits and it has really made me remotivated to finish what I started last December.

Now, my next goal is to get my calves thin enough to get a nice pair of knee-high boots this fall . . . can't wait!

 

All of my vacations with my family have very been memorable, but this one was so great from a personal perspective.  Not only could I wear all of my summer clothes with confidence (haven't worn shorts or skirts in a LONG time!), but after doing a bit of people watching, I am completely convinced that I am going for a 2-piece bikini bathing suit next year.  I am still shooting for that athletic-type body and this will give me something to really reward myself and keep me motivated.

Speaking of athletics, hubby and I took the girls kayaking this past week.  We had the best time ever!  Of course, I almost pee'd in my pants because hubby stepped into his kayak, lost his balance, and landed in the water.  Since I was already a bit ahead, all I heard behind me was this big "Oh, No-o-o!" and then a big splash.  As I turned around, my first thought was that my youngest daughter might have fallen into the water.  Once I realized that she was perfectly safe and saw my hubby completely drenched, I burst out laughing.  Yup, he's gonna hear about this one for a long time!  Anyway, the kayaking was a great workout for my arms and shoulders and my abs as well.  Actually, because our kayaks had those rutters that you could maneuver with your feet, my legs got a pretty good workout as well.  All in all, an awesome experience!

Back at the hotel, we had plenty of swimming and I was even able to use the fitness center twice.  Unfortunately, I did get get sick on the trip and had to start taking antibiotics, so I missed exercising for several days.  I am back on my feet now and am so happy to be back on the treadmill again.  I didn't have access to a scale while I was away, but given the fact that I indulged in several desserts and carbs, I thought for sure that I would have only maintained at best, if not gained a few.  Turns out, I actually lost a couple of pounds.  My getting sick had a lot to do with that I guess, since I couldn't really eat too much for the last few days.

Oh well, back to reality and rainy NJ . . .
 

So, today officially marks the 6-month milestone since surgery.  Below are the list of things that I never thought I would be able to do 6 months ago:

(1) Run for 5 miles straight -  Who would of thought that the same person that got winded going up a flight of stairs would have the lung capacity to run such a distance while singing!  Exercising has become such a big part of my success and I am so excited to have the ability to incorporate it into my lifestyle now.

(2) Fit into a size 10 anything - Just 6 months ago, I was wearing size 18W and had the hardest time finding the styles that I liked.  Now, I can go into almost any store and find things that look great and are fashion-forward.  In fact, the choices are now almost overwhelming sometimes!

(3) Look in the mirror and actually like what I see - For several years after I gained a tremendous amount of weight, I had no full length mirrors or scales in the house.  I realize now that this was probably a BIG mistake and that I should have kept those things around for accountability.  Fast forward to today and not only are those things back in my life, but I actually use them for the tools that they are and can be proud of the transformation in my body.

(4) Turn down any type of dessert/fried food/junk food - In addition to my volume of food being way too much, my diet pre-surgery was SO unhealthy.  I knew that the band worked based on restriction, which would definitely help with the volume eating, but how in the world would it help me give up french fries, chips, cookies, etc??  This was a hard one for me and I have to say that I struggled in the very beginning with changing this behavior.  However, learning more about nutrition, reading labels, and finding easy recipes to make at home has really helped me make much healthier choices and I do not feel deprived at all.

All in all, I have had a great 6 months with my band.  Only 2 fills, no unfills, and no major problems.  I definitely  my band!!