litlneen
I am 34 years old, mother to Gracie (4) and beginning the journey to take my life back. I've thought about this for a long time but it's taken alot to get the courage to stand up and say "No more!" You see, I haven't always been fat. As a child in fact I was underweight and often teased because I was so thin. I was the tall, gangly, painfully skinny, ribs showing kinda girl. In junior high I gained a little bit of weight but after a horrible battle with the stomach flu I dropped about 25 pounds. I started to get compliments and my struggle with body image began. My lowest weight at my current height (5'9") was 114 - not healthy at all. In high school I topped out at around 120-125 and looking back I have to say I was pretty HOT! If I could go back and talk to my teenage self I would tell her how beautiful she was, how worthy she was and how WORTH IT she was. In my early 20's the weight started to pile on. It was slow at first but the more I yo-yo dieted the more I gained and the faster I gained. Depression started and alas the additional medical problems. First the migraines, then the high blood pressure and so on. More dieting, lose weight & gain it back and then some. When I was shopping for wedding dresses I was so wishing I could wear black because it was more slimming than white and the happiest time of my life became more and more depressing. Every time I thought of the wedding march I would sing in my head "Hear comes the Bride, fair, FAT & WIDE". Two years after I was married I found out I was pregnant. My first OB/GYN appt was awful. Since I was already "heavy" I was told I could only gain 20 pounds. Good thing I puked from conception to delivery. Anyway fast forward four years. I'm at my heaviest ever (280), taking 12 medications a day not including vitamins. Sleep Apnea, HBP, High Colesterol, Migraines, Vertigo, Chronic Pain and I know I am dying. Not today and probably not tomorrow - but soon. I'm finally ready to do this and anxious to get going!!
