LCS54

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I guess this is as good of a time to start this than never. I have waited  4 months to get my first appointment through my HMO. I recently heard there are over 1500 patients waiting for surgery with this HMO and I guess I am towards the top as the appointments are rolling in.

I have met with the dietician and a nurse practitioner and I received positive feedback from each of them. I next have to see a psychiatrist to make sure I have a realistic expectation and I don't have any underlying issues. Once I get his/her ok I wait for an appointment with a surgeon. After meeting with the surgeon and he consults with me then  I wait for a phone call to offer me a surgery date.  I feel like I have waited so long what the heck is another month or two.

I work in an office  where I sit a lot so I decided to get my butt off the chair more often and make some extra trips around the office delivering items or collecting items for someone who is in need.

Each night I go home and try to make something healthy for dinner for both my husband and myself. I wish I could be more dedicated and stick 100% to the meal plan that was given but I do slip up and of course feel guilty about making a wrong choice. Did I mention my husband is going through this with me....yes, he is also going to have the surgery.  I love him to death but he is depending on me to make all the decisions on everything. I have asked him to please read the literature and books I have bought about WLS but he is not interested.  It really burns me. If we go to the grocery store together, he picks up items and asks me, "Can we have this".  HELLO, READ THE MATERIALS AND KNOW THIS FOR YOURSELF!!  It would be nice to have a two sided conversation on the topic but he doesn't want to learn.  I don't want to see him fail.  I do get upset with him and lash out at times but I have been living this for months now and he is depending on me for his guidance on what is right and wrong.  this is driving me more crazy.

As most of you, I have had a battle with weight since I can remember. My mother feels is was due to my father's continual nagging of me and my weight....so my comfort was food.  At the ripe old age of 10, I lost my father, uncle and grandfather within a couple of years span due to all of them committing suicide. Their downfall was alcohol so I made a promise to myself I would not travel down that path.  My mother thought it would be a good idea for my older brother to go live with our half brother who was 16 years older than I.  While my mother was forced back to work (my father did not believe in life insurance....his thinking was, why should I leave money for it to be spent on other man) and my brother not being around, I came home to an empty house after school and would have to feed myself dinner and get myself to bed before my mother would be home from work....usually between 9:30 and 10pm.

Fast forwarding to today, I am a 53 year old mother and grandmother.  I have a wonderful husband, a 30 year old son and 2 amazing grandson's,  3  1/2 years and 21 months.  They are my shining stars and while they can wear me down I don't have a problem with that.  I want them to know their grandma and grandpa and know they have a safe and comfortable place with us.