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 It has been about 3 weeks since joining the gym and I thnk for the most part I like it. I have only been able to go on average of 2 days a week between crazy late nights at work and getting sick and moki's surgery. Jen Gomez has been going with me and she is very motivating and helpful. I can't wait until the day I am not afraid to alone. 

The hairloss is in full force and comes out in handfuls when I wash it. Makes me not even want to wash it. It is also so limp and lifeless/dry looking. I can't wait for it to slow down and come back =)

I am really getting nervous about what this body will look like when the weight is off. So far it is looking really bad. My arms are swinging and my stomach looks bad (usually never this bad) and my legs look like frekain HELL. It kills me to see what damage I have done to my body but I try not tell dwell on it for too long. 

 SO I did it!!! I joined for the first time in my life a gym !!!! This is so huge for me =)  I am one that ALWAYS worries what others think of them and hate to put myself out there being big. I still have quite a bit of weight to lose but have come along ways already. WHen I was in the gym signing up I walked by a full length mirror and dreaded looking into it. When I saw myself I couldn't believe that I didn't look huge! I only had time to sign-up today but will be doing my first workout on Monday night. So that will be my next biggest fear.....I CAN DO IT!!

Current weight 234 lbs

 So, things have been going pretty well for the most part. Not really any complications with surgery although the last week or 2 I have been having some indigestion (acid reflux) and not sure why. I did stop taking the Prilosec a few weeks ago and the reflux didn't start immediately after. I guess if this is the worst side effect then it's not bad. Just wish there was none. I still have HUGE problems sleeping. I am taking Ambian and still only sleep about 3-4 maybe on a super good day 5 hours straight then I am wide awake at 8am. I don't get up and just toss and turn until it's time to get up. I don't have any energy like I thought I would at this point. My feet have been bothering me a lot. The inside of my big toes hurt when I wear my tennis shoes which sucks ass.  I am gonna go off the AMbian soon since it is not helping as much as I hoped. I am down over 80lbs and pretty happy with that. I just wish I could stick to an exercise routine. WHen I get home from work I just wanna relax! I know my body is just gonna get flabby and exercise would help that a lot but that doesn't seem to motivate me. Dr. Cirangle wasn't pleased with my weightloss and basically said I am not treacking my food right and I must be missing something. Well I track my food exactly the way I should it's just that I don't exercise!!!! I haven't been in a good mood lately and unsure why. I should be super happy the way life is going but have been in a funk lately. Well....I guess I am done complaining for now....=(  Hopefully next post is more positive!!!

 So at 2 weeks out of surgery I stalled on my weight loss. It lasted 2 weeks long also and felt like the longest 2 weeks ever. I really didn't even want to post on my blog until it was over because it was soooo frustrating. Well it's finally over and the weight loss has begun..woohoo. Life is beginning to happen now and I feel so good about my future. I can't stand staying in the house now, I want to be out in the sunshine enjoying all it has to offer. I am already going out and doing more thing and even got invited by Tammy to go to Las Vegas in 5 weeks. I am kinda nervous and not sure if I am gonna go. My biggest fear is the airplane seatbelt will not fit and that would devastate me and I am trying to stay away from things that aren't a positive experience for me. My mom bought me an elliptical trainer for my birthday which is Friday and I am so excited. I have been walking more and more. Walked almost 3 miles with Ericka last night. I have to admit my knees hurt quite a bit the next day. i am really hoping this is something that improves when the weight comes off. Mean time I ordered some glucosamine to see if that helps since I can't ake advil.  Until next time...............

 Weight blog....=)

Before surgery                 323.0                  
7/19/11  (surgery day)    297.0  (Lost 20lbs for surgery which brought me from 323 to 297)
7/29/11                              288.0 
8/05/11                              280.8
8/12/11                              278.2
8/19/11                              277.0    This MINIMAL weight loss better end soon !!!!!
8/26/11                              273.2
9/02/11                              270.8
9/09/11                              266.8
9/16/11                              263.4
9/23/11                              259.6
9/30/11                              256.4
10/7/11                              252.6
10/14/11                            
10/21/11
10/28/11                           244.4
11/4/11                             240.6
11/11/11                           239.0
11/18/11                           235.6  
11/25/11                           232.4    
12/30/11                           226.4 ( Not positive though)     
1/6/12                                222.4
1/13/12                              218.9
2/4/12                                 212.0
3/16/12                               209.6   ( I better get my ASS in gear !!!! ) Only 49 lbs until goal....not that much!!!
3/30/12                               204.4
4/14/12                               204.2
4/21/12                              201.8
5/4/12                                 197.0



        

 It's been 10 day's since surgery. At first I had the 8 lb weight gain which was a bummer, but that came off quickly. Then it took a few day's for weight loss to kick in. Now that it has kicked in it is going well and I couldn't be more thrilled. I am losing about 1 lb on average per day. Today I actually lost 2 lbs. So for this I am extremely thankful. I only have 6 day's left of the GOD awful Heparin shots. My poor belly is soooo sore. I haven't started exercising yet. Just a little bit of walking here and there. Need to work on building up my stanima. Tomorrow I am venturing out for the first time since surgery, making a trip to Target. Going to post my stats so I can keep tract of them. 

HW  323    (Before surgery)
CW  288   (10 day's post-op)

Day 1: Tuesday) Sx day  Well I am 3 day's post-op. Surgery went well for the most part. My surgeon did tell me that my uterus had huge fibroids on it and I might need a hysterectomy.....really? Oh well, it is what it is, right? After surgery I was back in my room hitting that little morphine button like crazy....not sure if I really needed that much or just did it cause I could...lol  I never really had much gas pain and no nausea. The next day I didn't even take my pain meds and haven't taken any since surgery. 

Day 2:( Wednesday)I was on my way home and bored to death at the hospital. Tammy had to get back to her kids so my mom came to pick me up (poor thing she was ready for bed). Mom arrived about 10pm and we were on our way by 11pm. So here's the funny thing ( didn't think it was funny at the time). My mom got lost so many times and we couldn't find our way home...so we basically made a huge circle and went through San Jose 2 times. At this point I said "PULL OVER IM DRIVING"....Yep I know I am not supposed to but I wasn't on pain meds and my mother was gonna drive me nuts. Made it home finally by 2 am. Was actually able to sleep about 6-7 hours on the couch. Was suprised I could sleep at all. 

Day 3: (Thursday)  My biggest problem today was once sitting trying to get up was pretty hard. Everything in your belly feels really tight. One of my eyes swelled shut, not sure why. I got about 1/2 my water in and most of my protein. Literally spent the entire day working on this. But overall felt pretty good! Oh ya....I am up 8 lbs since surgery (water gain from IV Fluids). 

Day 4: (Friday) Today was probabably the hardest day for a couple of reasons. Now both of my eyes are swollen as if I was in the ring with Mike Tyson...WTF? The only thing I can figure out is water retension....At first I thought it was an allergic reaction to one of my meds....but not sure, we will see. Then later on I started getting a drip in the back of my throat that was causing me to cough, man was that painful. The cough has subsided as long as I keep my mind off of it. I don't want to herniate my tummy from coughing so much. I started taking some zinc just in case it was a touch of a cold trying to take me down. I am convinced tomorrow is going to be a better day (I hope). Oh ya....I got all my protein and water in....go me!

 2 day's until my surgery. I'ts Sunday evening and surgery is on Tuesday at 7:30am. I started my clear liquid diet today. Water, sugar-free popsicles, sugar-free jello, crystal light. I love sweets and all of this sweet stuff is getting to me. I thought this 2 day's would go really quick but today is dragging because I wanna eat. I just want to fast forward about 4 weeks and pray that I am doing well at that point.  

 Time is getting near, I have 4 days until my surgery. This week was a tough one. I had most of my pre-op testing done. Had a physical/ekg, both went well =) Dr. Herrnrig was the nicest doctor ever. Next on to my pap today....worst nightmare ever. How embarressing is it to be seen in that light at this weight.....gosh I hope to never experience that again. Tomorrow is my first "ever so poplular "mammogram. I kinda feel like this couldn't be worse then the gyno appt. Then I should be done. P.s Dr.. Gemme brooks is also one of the nicest doctors I have ever experienced!!! Love her!  I still am not doing as well as I hoped with my diet but I am kinda over it at this point. I have lost some weight as requested by my surgeon. I haven't been exercising like I should be. 

So what's more exciting then having my VSG surgery you ask......you guessed it.....6 WEEKS OFF FROM WORK!!!! The only thing I will miss are my patients =( But I get to spend 6 wonderful weeks with my Moki and nothing could be better then that. 

So, since things are moving right along, what else could I possibly worry about. Oh lets see.....I forgot to get a refill on my provera which means I will basically bleed to death without it. So I get to stress about getting it refilled in 1 day!  Thankfully I will be at Mercy tomorrow and I can personnally ask them for a refill and I won't leave until I get it.  

So this weekend I will be wrapping up the loose ends before surgery. So excited one of my best friends (which happens to be an ICU nurse) is taking me to the hospital and staying with me the whole time. She is truely the best friend a girl could ask for, love her!  I'm sure  the next post will be nervous nelly writting in the night before surgey =) Keep ya posted!

 My surgery date is getting close. I am about a little more then 3 weeks out. Scheduled for July 19, 2011. I just finished my pre-op paperwork going over all of the possible complications.....OMG I am not sure I am doing the right thing. Even though I know I haven't been able to lose this weight on my own, and I know I need this surgery, it still scares me to death. I am going crazy trying to prepare myself for the surgery. I am trying to lose weight (at about 14 lbs down now) will hopefully lose at least another 10 in the next 3 weeks. Trying to buy everything I need before surgery and for after. I have had sooooo many problems with the girls in the surgery office with my paperwork it worries me more. THey are super nice just not organized AT ALL. I hope things go well enough so that I can enjoy some of my 6 weeks off since I have never had a vacation from work in the 20 years I have been there. I have done my upper GI and hope to set up my physical/ekg this week. Then right before surgery is the oh so dreaded PAP/mammogram....those 2 tests alone are reasons enough to cancel the surgery. Nothing like having a pap when your 300lbs.....boy oh boy is that a sight for sore eyes....oh well, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do to get it done =(