krkovacs

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 Wow! How times flies! 11 months ago today was the eve of my surgery. I wasn't sure I really wanted to go through with it. I kept believing that I could lose the weight by myself and shouldn't have to depend upon a rerouting of my digestive system in order to be successful. But reality is that I have tried many times on my own and only ended up gaining more than I lost every time I went on a diet. This is the first time I have been successful in my weight loss journey. Surgery is just a tool ... it is up to me to use that tool to be "all that I can be."

Speaking of which, I did something yesterday that I could never have done without losing the 95 pounds that I lost over these past 11 months. That's right ... 95 pounds. I participated in my first triathlon sprint. I went in with the mentality that I only wanted to finish. But deep down it was more than that. 1) I didn't want to be last. 2) I wanted to finish in under 2 hours. 3) I really wanted to finish in under 1:50. 4) I wanted to finish the swim in under 10 minutes. 5) I wanted to finish the bike in under 50 minutes. 6) I wanted to finish the "run" in under 50 minutes as well. 7) I wanted to cross the finish line actually running! Not jogging, but running across the finish line. 

Well, the times were released last night: 1) I came in 61 out of 65 women ... goal met! 2) I finished in 1:45:39 ... goals 2 & 3 met! 4) My swim time was 7:57 ... goal 4 met! 5) My bike time was 47:56 ... goal 5 met! 6) My "run" time was 44:43 ... goal 6 met! 7) I did indeed come running across the finish line! I was crying when I crossed the line ... I couldn't believe I had actually completed a triathlon. A year ago it could not have been possible. I was a 258 pound couch potato who didn't do anything physical. "To God be the glory, great things He hath done!"

Did I come home, wrap myself up in ice packs and do nothing for the rest of the day? No! I went swimming in the pool and then I went to the movies and saw "Water for Elephants". I came home, ate dinner and went back in the pool. I didn't go to bed until my normal bedtime. This morning when I got up? Not even a little bit sore. Now I can't wait to sign up for my next triathlon. I want to do one at the Outer Banks in September. It's another sprint, but it is a longer swim (750 m). Anne said she would do it with me if I would start swimmning 1000m at the pool and start doing some open water swims with her. So, that's my next goal ... another triathlon sprint. 

Looking back over the past 11 months, it's only been positive. I have had some "woe is me" moments, when I ask myself, "Why did I do this to myself? Couldn't I have had enough self-discipline to lose the weight on my own?" The answer is "NO", I could not have done this on my own. The amount to lose was too overwhelming and the depravation too extreme. Now I don't feel deprived at all. I eat most anything I want, but smaller portions. I don't crave the sweets and I've learned to choose my food options better. I don't need a huge pile of mashed potatoes on my plate. One bite is sufficient for my needs. Eat the protein. Eat the vegetables. Eat the fruit. A little bit of carbs are okay .. just don't overdo it. And don't forget the nightly SF popsicle for dessert!

Would I do it again knowing now what I know? Most definitely. God is good. His mercy endureth forever. 

 I haven't posted anything in a while. Things have been going quite well. I am down to 173.5 pounds, which is amazing. I just started wearing a size 12. I spilt something on my shirt yesterday at school and I started asking my students if anyone had an extra shirt that I could borrow for the day. I realized after putting it on that I couldn't have done that 9 months ago. My students wouldn't have had a shirt that fit me. It's this type of little thing that makes me realize how far I've come in less than a year. 

The most bizarre thing is when I fold my clothes. The pants look too small and the shirts look tiny. I know they are mine, but I still can't believe I fit into them. The shirts are the funniest ... when I go to put them on, they look too small, so I try to stretch them before putting them on. When they don't stretch, I "know" they won't fit, but they do. Such a strange sensation....

I'm doing extremely well with my vitamins and supplements these days. I have a pretty good schedule that works for me. Two calcium when I get up in the morning. My vitamins during my planing period. Two more calcium at lunch. Another round of vitamins when school gets out. Two more calciums at the end of the day. I don't do as well on the weekends though. I am very schedule oriented.

I've been exercising pretty regularly as well. I go to the YMCA and swim on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I am starting to run on the indoor track on Tuesdays and Thursdays. If the weather is warm I ride my bike between 10-13 miles on the weekends. I am planning on participating in a mini-triathalon on June 4. I am quite excited about it. I'm not trying to be competitive ... I just want to finish. I love having a goal in mind. It helps keep me focused. 

I will update another month ... so far, so good 

It's been four months since I had the surgery. I cannot believe that I weighted 68 pounds more than I do right now. The journey has not been difficult at all. I have not had any complications (praise God!) and I have not found any foods that disagree with my pouch (now .. they did). I'm pretty good about getting my supplements in during the day. I had to readjust some of them after my 3-month labs, but nothing significant. My hair is falling out pretty steadily, but I knew that was a side-effect of the surgery and that it will come back in time. I have not chosen to take Biotin yet, but may start soon. I didn't want ALL my hair to grow, but am now thinking it will be worth it if the hair on my head starts growing back quicker. 

I knew I would lose weight, but it amazes me when I put on a smaller size and it fits. Last night I went to a play and decided to try on a pair of skinny jeans that someone had given me. I had tried to wear them three weeks and they were too tight. Not only did they fit, I needed to wear a belt. I felt so good wearing those jeans. I know I'm still obese, but I feel so good! People at work are calling me skinny. I'm not skinny, but it feels good to hear them say it. I originally thought I wanted to weigh 130 pounds, but I'm not so sure now. Will that be too skinny? I guess my body will stop where it wants to stop and I will be happy with the weight wherever it is. Funny thing is, I'm happy now. This surgery was definitely the right decision for me. So glad I had it!!!!!

 I got up this morning and got on the scale, not expecting it to move. I've been in a stall for a while now, so I have no expectations as I look down at the number. It's been hovering around 221-222 for quite a while now. When I got up Friday it was at 220.1. It had moved! I was excited, but not overwhelmed. I wanted to be in the 2-teens. I can't remember the last time I saw a number that low. Saturday morning, I got on the scale with slight hope. It was at 218.9. I had to get on it twice to make sure I was reading the right numbers. Was that a 1 after the 2? No way!

Well, this morning I got up knowing that the scale could not have moved again. It had moved two days in a row. I looked down with low expectations and read the numbers 217.1. Oh my goodness! Could I really have lost 4 pounds in three days? How in the world can the scale go from stagnant to 4 pounds in 3 days? Simply amazing!

My daughter is getting married in 7 weeks and I really wanted to be in One-derland. I had given up hope for that goal and decided I would just get as low as I could. Now I'm starting to wonder if that goal is attainable. Can I possibly lose 18 more pounds in 8 weeks? That would be amazing! What a gift to my daughter (and myself) to be that small for her wedding. I know this surgery works - I've seen it on others. But could it possibly work that well for me .... 

 I just got off the scale and discovered that I am no longer Morbidly Obese, I am just Obese. Who would have thought that being called "obese" would make me so happy? It's hard to believe it's only been 6 weeks since I had surgery. I feel great and my energy level is pretty high. I go to bed earlier than I used to, sleeping harder than I used to, but that's all a good thing. When I wake up in the morning, I'm ready to go for the day.

I am not doing great with my hydrating liquids, protein or supplements. I went back to work last Monday and didn't have a set schedule. I sat in meetings all morning and didn't eat my morning mini-meal. I would get caught up in what I was doing and not refill my drink container when it emptied. My supplements were all but forgotten. I'd remember late in the evening that I hadn't taken anything yet. 

Today is the start of a new week. School starts tomorrow. I am going to document everything that I eat and drink. Hopefully this will keep me a little more accountable as to what I am eating & drinking. Fortunately, I have a coworker who is 9 months post-op who keeps me accountable. She stays on me and reminds me to "sip, sip, sip" and "chew, chew, chew."

Apparently you can "chew, chew, chew" too much! At least that's what she told me - I was chewing too much. Maybe that's why I hated eating food so much . It took so long to eat one bite of food I didn't want to be bothered with it. I was so happy getting my protein via protein drinks, but apparently I'm not supposed to be getting 50g a day that way. I was fine with it, but I guess I'm supposed to be training myself to eat real food before I can eat a lot and eat poorly. Trying to learn to develop my habits now, so I can maintain my weight when I'm several years out. 

I went out to Michael's Dean Seafood Restaurant with my daughter and my parents last night. They all ordered their meals and I took a piece of all of their protein. My daughter had parmesan-crusted salmon, which was pretty good. My dad had some kind of white fish from the gulf coast. It was really moist. My mom had filet mignon and garlic mashed potatoes ... wow! My first "red meat" since surgery. It was wonderful. I walked away satisfied, but not stuffed. My mom said I was a cheap meal . It's nice being able to go out and eat a nice meal without having to actually buy anything. My budget can definitely handle by new pouch! Now to get the medical bills paid off so they aren't sitting over my head.

Will post in a couple of weeks. Until then......

 Well, it's been 3 weeks (and a day) since my surgery. I haven't had any complications and I feel really good. I'm doing pretty well with getting in my proteins and liquids. I even ate something yesterday ... 2 turkey meatballs. It took me 2 hours to eat them, but they tasted sooooo good. I am excited about the journey ahead of me. I know I have to be faithful to the program in order to be successful long term, but I am ready for the journey to begin. 

My daughter, Kelli, is getting married on October 16 of this year. I want to be physically ready for the wedding. I can't wait for my family to see the change in me. I know it will only be 3 months, so it won't be as drastic as it would have been if they waited until Thanksgiving. I will still be smaller than I've been in years, so I'm excited.

Off to make an egg. Hopefully my pouch will tolerate it. If not, protein drink here I come. 

Well, I had the surgery a week ago today. The journey hasn't been too bad. The surgery only lasted 70 minutes, which was amazing. There were two attending surgeons, Dr. Torquati and Dr. Woo, so they got through it very quickly. I don't remember much about that first day. I slept alot! I do remember waiting until 8:30pm so I could walk around the ward. When it came time to sit me up, I became extremely nauseas. They gave me some medicine for the nausea and wouldn't let me out of bed until later that night. I was not a happy camper. I did end up walking around 10:00, and I did fine.

I felt really good the next day. I was able to drink my 1oz every 15 minutes as well as walk around the ward several times. They discharged me that afternoon and I came to my parents house. I've been doing pretty good since I've been here. Very little pain - just when I overdo it. I didn't end up getting the gas pains that everyone talks about. Sometimes I can feel a tight pulling inside when I move the wrong way, but nothing overwhelming. I'm getting in between 60-70 grams of fluids everyday and between 48-60 grams of protein. I walk several times a day and I've been out to a couple of stores already. 

All-in-all, it hasn't been too bad of a journey so far. I'm down 5 pounds since surgery. I weighed myself two days ago and I was at my weight the morning of surgery. I'm excited to see where this journey takes me. No regrets so-far, just wish I had had the strength to do it the old-fashioned way - dieting, so I wouldn't have had to do this to my body. Oh well, what's done is done. Now on to the journey.... 

 I'm scheduled to be at the hospital exactly 24 hours from now. I only have a couple more things to do in the house and then I will come home to a clean house . Today officially begins my clear liquid diet. I tried to be on it yesterday, but caved at dinner time and bought a kid's meal from Bojangles on the way home from church ~ a leg, pinto beans & unsweet ice tea. I felt really good about that purchase. I usually get a 3 piece dark meat combo with fries and a large sweet tea. That's a great accomplishment for me!

I've been on a self-imposed partial liquid diet for the past 8 days. I drank hot tea with splenda and lemon each  morning when I got up instead of coffee. I had a headache for the first two days, but then it subsided. For breakfast I had a protein shake mixed with light vanilla soy milk. For morning snack I ate a sf jello snack. For lunch, another protein drink - this one mixed with crystal light and a sf jello snack. I drank water in between each meal, but never with it. For dinner, I had a protein and vegetables, no starchy side. I've lost 9 pounds on that regime and it feels good. Today is my clear liquid diet, so I should be down another pound in the morning ~ actually praying to be in the 230s at the time of surgery. Hopefully the magnesium citrate will clear my system enough that my prayer comes true.

I have to pack my bags today. One for my parents house for my post-op stay and one for the hospital. Not bringing much to the hospital - chapstick, Ipod, panties, pillow and an outfit to come home. Packing for my parents is a different story. Trying to think of everything I will need for two weeks can be a little daunting. Fortunately, Jessica (my 19yo D), is staying at home in order to take care of the dogs. She can bring me anything I have forgotten. 

I met someone on this site last night who lives right up the road from me. She has the same doctor and is the surgery scheduled right behind mine. We chatted for quite a while last night. We share the same first name and are both teachers. We are also both Christians. I'm sure we both have a multitude of people praying for us. Praise God! Matthew 18:19: “Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven." Praise God for His Faithfulness and His promises to His children!

Only 8 days until my surgery. Time has been going by much faster than I anticipated it would. I've had family in from Pennsylvania, so the eating has been out of control. I've gained 4 pounds in the last week, so I'm up to 252 this morning. I decided to start a liquid diet this week in an attempt to lose weight before my surgery. I think I'm going to do a liquid breakfast and lunch and then a healthy dinner (if my daughter is home). If she's not home, I'll try to do a third meal of liquids.

I also went off caffeine this morning. Hopefully I won't have too bad of a caffeine headache from this decision. I know I need to be off of it by my surgery date, so I guess it's better to have the withdrawal from caffeine now instead of after surgery.

I'm emotionally ready to have the surgery now. Between family support, the forums on this site, and my local support group, I know this is the right decision for me at this time. I am looking forward to a slimmer me. I can't wait to see how my life changes when my body is able to do all the things my mind wishes it could have been doing.

Until then .....

I announced to my Sunday School class last week that I was having surgery in July, asking them to pray for me. One of the ladies in the class came up to me after class was over and asked me what kind of surgery I was having. When I told her, she informed me that she had lap-band surgery two years ago, losing over 160 pounds. That night, she introduced me to another lady in the church who had RNY last November. She had just hit the century mark that week. We talked for about 45 minutes. It was quite a morale booster. I had been struggling with the decision to have the surgery, but after talking to them, I felt so much better.

On Tuesday, a friend from work called to check on me. She had RNY in December and just hit her century mark this week. I told her about the women from church and how much better I felt about everything. It's great to have such a great support group. I have one from work, and two from church. Since that is where I spend ALL of my time, I think I'm covered. They can help me pick my sorry butt off the ground when I get down and discouraged. Isn't God good? "'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'." Jeremiah 29:11.