Kristi D.
First, alittle about me. Im 31 years old and have not been over weight my entire life. But close! I have been married to my wonderful husband since 1992 and we have 2 children. I want to have this surgery so I can be a better wife and mother. I need this surgery so I can live to see my grandchildren one day!
I have been researching this surgury for longer then I can remember. I have had several friends and family members who have had it done and all have had wonderful success. I cant wait till I am one of them myself. So here is my journey:
10/03/05 Pysch eval....nice. Have to go back tomorrow.
10/04/05 2nd pysch eval and all is well. Cleared for surgury. And told that I have abandonment issues....who doesnt? That lady can just bite me!
10/19/05 Nutritionist meeting. Nothing new.
11/15/05 2nd appoint with Dr. Watson. Now the wait for approval.
12/01/05 Insurance approval! YEAH!!!!! Now to wait on a date.
12/09/05 Called doctors office today and was given a date for my bypass...........its January 11, 2006. I cant seem to stop smiling. I guess I am still in shock and scared that someone is going to yell "April Fools". 33 days! Just 33 more days and I will begin a new life where Im not terrified to leave my house for fear that I will see someone I knew before I gained the weight. Im so happy!
12/20/05 Doctors office called and changed my date to 1/13/06. It kinda bothers me but I keep telling myself its only 2 extra days.....this time next year I will be healthy and happy. Im getting more excited everyday and cant stop thinking about it at all. 24 more days! Its not far off now. I hope it flies by.
12/27/05 17 days till my big day. Im finally starting to get nervous and questioning myself. I worry about dying, having complications, or just failing altogether and the surgery not working for me. I have realized from visiting this site that we all have the same fears. I just need to work thru mine and stay strong. I worry about the head hunger thing and the fact that Im an emotional eater. My husband moved to another city back in July for work. He wanted me and the kids to go with him but I was to afraid of such a big change. Starting over in a new town is hard, but when you are overweight its worse. I also wanted to stay here because I had already started my journey and wanted to keep my surgeon. But things have got harder since he left. I notice Im eatng more and the emotional side of him being gone and me being lonely is hard. I know that its not forever. He only has 10 more months left and he gets to come back. And all my family lives here. But I do miss him. We have had a hard time in the past and moments when we thought that divorce would be an answer for us. But neither one of us would give up and he has loved me and been with me both thick and thin. I know he loves me with all his heart and he doesnt want me to have this surgury. He says he would rather have me like I am then risk me dying or getting thin and leaving him. And I have heard that happens alot. He says he loves me just the way I am. I know Im lucky to have him and I hope that this will make me feel better about myself. Good luck to all my January 2006 buddies. Its right around the corner!!! YEAH!
1/5/06 I had my pre-op testing this morning. Before I walked out the door the doctors office called and wanted to know if I could change my date to the 9th. Of course I said yes. Just 4 more days. Im thrilled.
1/8/06 Well tomorrow is the big day. I havent been nervous much yet, havent really had time. Son had a swim meet this weekend out of town so Ive been busy. Its after 5pm and I still need to pack and take a before pic and measurments. Not looking forward to that at all....lol. I just pray all goes well and I am home safe and sound on the loosing side soon. I really have alot to do in a short amount of time. See you all soon.
MEASUREMENTS:
Neck:16 1/2
Waist:45
Hips: 54
Chest: 52
Arm:16
Thigh: 30
Calf: 19 1/2
Wrist: 7
1/15/06 Oh lord! Im finally home. Got to leave the hospital yesterday. What a week! Surgery was on Monday at 8 am. The last thing I remember was a doctor telling me to take 3 deep breaths. Then I woke up and it was over. And the first thing I felt was PAIN. The pain was more then I ever imagined it would be. I didnt really come out of it till midnight. I got up and walked around some. OUCH! No comfortable sleeping position to be found. Tuesday I was feeling sick to my stomach all day and realized it was the morphine, so I gave that up. Wednesday I started running a fever. Thursday still had a fever, spiking up to 102.9 at one point. The doctors order a CT and an ultrasound of my legs looking for bloodclots. They found none. By this time my potassium dropped. Lucky me. So by this point I had several mini breakdowns wondering why I ever did this to myself. My IVs kepting messing up also. I ended up when it was all over having had one in my right hand. Then that one got moved to my left hand. Only to be moved the next day to my right arm. That one got moved hours later to my left arm. Friday I found out it was my lungs causing the fever. They lower portions of poth lungs had colasped. Solution.........breath deeper. Saturday I talked the doctor into letting me leave. I was going insane sitting in that hospital. I was a pin cushin. I had a total of 12 blood thinner shots and several shots of meds to stop the nauseousness. Got home yesterday and managed to get some sleep in the recliner. Today got up and had a shower, washed my hair and started to feel more like a human again. I even painted my nails. Temp is still 99.9 but Im working on the breathing. Hopefully by next post I will be posting a huge weight loss.
1/19/06 I went to my first post op visit today. Had the tube removed and that was the wierdest feeling ever. Im down to 292. A total lose of 25lbs. Im thrilled. Still struggling with getting in all my protein and fluid. Have thrush, real nice. Go back in a month. I can now drive, walk for exercise, but no lifting yet.
1/21/06 I figured I should type in my goals so as not to forget them:
DONE:not feel embarrassed about my size while in public
DONE:-30 pounds first month
DONE:-20 pounds second month
DONE:-17 pounds by March 20th,3rd month (birthday goal of 250 pounds)
DONE:total loss of 100 pounds by July 4th 2006
DONE:fit into a booth without worry
DONE: to be in ONEderland by Aug. 9th (month 7)
DONE:wear a size 14 again
DONE:wear a size 12 (havent since my freshman year)
DONE:to have my BMI in the "20's"
DONE:wear a size LG shirt
DONE:wear a size MED shirt (womens or misses)
DONE:Doctors goal 180 pounds
DONE: to be in the "NORMAL" weight range
____:to be at 165
2/2/06 Well, the weight loss has slowed down a bit. I guess I got use to dropping 2-3 pounds a day. I have really been struggling with head hunger and Im very stressed out over the fact that I cant eat what I want. Ive noticed that Im always sleepy and just cant seem to get in more then 40 grams of protein and 40 oz of water a day. I know it will get easier, I just wonder when. On the upside, my pouch is never hungry. I read about people saying they are starving and Im glad Im not having that problem. Ive only had 1 problem while eatting. It was last Sunday morning and I was in a hurry to get to my sons swim meet. I wasnt paying attention and took to big of a bite of ate to fast and I just started feeling like I was going to vomit. I think I would have felt better if I could have but I knew it would hurt to bad due to all the pain I still have on my left side. I walked around for awhile and I started feeling somewhat better. Chew, chew, chew!!! Pants are loose now and that feels great. Im down 37 pounds. Im still wearing the binder from the hospital. It helps with the pain. I will post more later.
2/8/06 Not much new to report. Tomorrow is my 1 month. Im going to get a B-12 shot and weight. Will post official weight then. As for now I will give my measurements for the month.
neck:15 1/2
waist:41 1/2
arm:15
chest:49
hips:51
thigh:29 1/4
calf:18
wrist:7
total loss:13 3/4
Still having trouble getting in all my fluids and protein. Usually around 32oz. water and 40-50 grams protein. I have went from a size 24 to a 20 and I think I have lost most of my weight in my face, lol. Till tomorrow!
2/15/06 Didnt get to update on my 1 month (2/9/06) but weight was the same, 275, -42 pounds. Since then I have lost 4 more pounds and I am down -46 total. I wish this would go faster. I just want to loose this weight. I still feel fat and ugly. My husband tells me all the time how great I look, I guess it will just take my head time to catch up with the weight loss. Meanwhile, my BMI is down to 38.9.....my insurance would no longer pay for surgery. I cant wait till my BMI is in the 20's. On another subject, I had a great Valentine's Day. My husband came home from Knoxville and someone watched the kids for us. We went out to dinner and to the movies. We had a wonderful time. Hope everyone had a great Valentine's! Till next time.
2/23/06 Went to the doctor for my check up on the 21st. All was well and said I was doing great. Down a total of 47 pounds. In a week and a half I can take pills and eat whatever I want. Although I must admit I have been eating a few things that are no-no's. Such as peanut butter, but doc said that was ok. I have been very frustrated lately. In the past 3 weeks have only lost 6 pounds. I guess it will slow down from time to time, I just never thought it would happen so soon. I went to get my B-12 shot today and I weighed 267. I think I will go by those scales, lol. So as of today down 50 pounds and I have 87 more to go. Wearing a size XL shirt now and a 20 pants. Im feeling much better and my husband says Im like a new person, not ashamed to leave the house anymore. Good luck to all..........
3/7/06 weight:262 down -55 pounds I hadnt realized it had been so long since my last update. Well, Im coming up on my 2 month surgeyvarsery (sp). I will take measurements tomorrow and pics on the 9th. Im not looking forward to that because Ive only lost 13 pounds this past month. I really thought it would have been more. Sometimes I have doubts about this process. I see my husband loosing 2-3 pounds a day on a regular diet and I had to go through all this and not loose a pound, it makes you question it. I know I will continue to loose weight and soon I will forget about all the pain and hard times I went through, but now its still fresh in my mind and hard to recommend this surgery to my cousin. She should have hers sometime this spring. I tell her she has to do what she thinks is best and not let what I am going through influence her in any way.
On a good note, I cleaned out my closet and got rid of a ton of clothes. Im now in a 20 or 18 pant and XL shirts. It has been kinda shocking because the last outfit I bought before surgery was a 26/28. I will go for now. Good luck to all........
3/8/06 down another pound today, -56 pounds. Took measurements:
Neck: 15
Waist: 39
Arm: 14 1/2
Chest: 47 1/4
Hips: 49
Thigh: 27
Calf: 17 3/4
Wrist: 7
3/9/06 2 months post op today! Weight 260, down -57 pounds and BMI 37.3! My BMI starting out was 45.4, I cant believe it. These last 2 months have been a huge challenge. I wondered several times if I made the right choice having surgery. And I must admit, I still wonder sometimes. But Im doing so much better these days and Im finally able to get in my fluids and protein. Its all starting to fall into place, it just takes awhile. I hate looking back on those first few weeks, I was miserable. I finally found a good protein drink, Protein Delight Choc/Coconut..........yummy. I mix it in the blender with 1cup water and about 6 ice cubes. Its like a slush and I enjoy that sweet drink. I miss it on days I cant fit it in....lol. Im so happy to have those 57 pounds gone, but I wish the other 80 I still need to loose would go as fast. I have a feeling they wont. I made a goal for myself to be at 250 by my birthday on the 20th. I have 10 pounds to go and only 11 days to get there. I must say, Im worried I wont make it. It seems like alot of weight. And I havent been walking or doing any exercise. I know, Im bad. But with my husband living out of town I have no one to watch the kids for me so I can walk. I hope everyone is doing well and take care.
3/13/06 Had a great weekend. Preston had a swim meet, championships. I ran, fit in a booth and walked around for hours. I slept like a baby and got up early and ate right. I actually lost weight and got in my water. I did things I usually dont do, like walk around at the meet and talk to people. My whole life is changing and I could just cry. As of this morning I weigh 255 and Im down 62 pounds. I have a birthday goal of 250 and a week left to loose 5 more pounds. Im shocked at how far Ive come in only 9 weeks. I still have 75 pounds to go, but I have no doubt that I will get there. I look forward to that day. I love my life!
3/20/06 weight:249, -68 pounds! Well I made my birthday goal of 250. When I set my goals, many months ago, I really never thought that this was do-able. Im truely shocked at how far Ive come in such a short period of time. My next goal is to be -100 pounds by the 4th of July, that would put me at 217. Just 32 pounds to go. I can only imagine what my life will be like by then. I am changing every day and thus my entire family is changing as well. We are all happier and healthier. I walked Fri, Sat, and Sun and Preston and Mom went with me. I even took Preston to a birthday party Saturday, something I would have got my husband to do in the past cause I felt too fat. Then we went to the mall. That is one thing I never do. But now when I see my reflection, Im shocked that its me. OK, ok......Im not skinny but Im not huge either. I cant ever see myself going back to my old habits and I will fight with all I have to keep loosing weight. But if I never dropped another pound, right now I am happy and not embarrassed of who I am. And THAT is a great feeling. Good luck to all.......
3/27/06 weight 244, total loss -73 pounds. Not much new to report. I have lost 16 pounds this month so far and still have 13 days to go till my 3 month mark. I have been walking 3 days a week. Im not having any real problems with food. I have been having some head hunger and I notice I find myself standing in the kitchen with the peanut butter jar in my hands. Scarey! I really need to work on that. I wanted to update with a photo or two since I have lost 16 pounds. Good luck to everyone on this journey!
3/31/06 Just a quick update. And a WOW. It has finally got warm here and spring is so nice in Tennessee. It was 75 degrees yesterday and when I went to get dressed my size 20 stretch capri were loose, not pretty. So I decided to run to Walmart and get a pair of new ones. Well, while I was looking I saw a pair of camo capri in the juniors department and I thought to myself, what the heck, try them on. I got the size 19 and for kicks I got a 15/17. Well the 19's fit and they were loose so I thought I should try the others. They fit also and I realized I would get more wear out of them since I will be loosing more weight. YEAH, a 15/17 juniors. Unbelievable! As of this morning I am 241 pounds and down -76. I have 61 more to loose to reach doctors goal of 180. Ive been rethinking my goal and Ive decided that I want to get my BMI into the normal range and that would mean I need to weigh from 173-129. So I want to get there. Happy spring.......
4/6/06 weight 240, -77 pounds Man have I been in a bad mood. I havent lost a pound since Monday and fear and disappointment have set in alittle. I worry about not loosing more weight. I worry about how much food I eat. I worry that Im not exercising enough. I worry Im not getting enough protein. I worry Im not getting all my vitamins. Do you see a pattern here? I worry all the time now. Sunday will be month 3 for me and I realize 77 pounds is alot to drop but I wanted to be at least 239 by then and I have a feeling Ive hit a stall. It happens to us all at some point. I think I should just get rid of the scales and live my life. But Im afraid I will start to gain....lol. Im insane. I know its not possible. The amount of calories Im getting is small and I know logically that I will start loosing again, but Im insane about this and I of course worry. I plan on updating my measurements Saturday and pics on Sunday. I just hope I snap out of this bad mood soon. On a good note, me and the kids are going to Knoxville to spend time with Chris next week. I am nervous about seeing all the guys he goes to school with. I dont want them to think Im fat and ugly and then him have to hear about it. When we were talking tonight he called me his "skinny wife". I just love him so much! And in only 8 more pounds I will weigh less then him, thats exciting. Ive done well today and stayed away from the peanut butter. Thats a daily battle. I just hope I win the war.....till next time......
4/8/06 Well it will be 3 months tomorrow. Its flew by and so much has changed. My life is better and Im so much more active now. I just wanted to add my measurements today and will update with pics tomorrow.
neck: 14 3/4
waist: 37
arm:13 3/4
chest: 43 1/2
hips: 47 1/4
thigh: 26 3/4
calf: 17 1/2
wrist: 6 3/4
4/9/06 3 months post op~238 pounds~~down 79
I must say I am shocked at the difference. I do have days I cant tell Ive lost a pound and others when I am overwhelmed with the loss. I have days when I fear I wont loose another pound and days when I realize that this is a process that will take me 12-18 months. I have always loved my family, my husband and kids mean so much to me. But I have always kept people at arms length for fear of being hurt. During this journey I have opened up more, pulled my children closer, let my husband love me and reconnected with my friends. I am slowly changing my entire life, not just my weight. I have decided to go back to school. Im so excited about all these changes and I welcome the next couple of months with open arms. I pray that everyone is doing well in their journey and that they are loving life as much as I am......until next time.....
4/10/06 A few things hit me today. Im at 237 pounds. In 5 pounds I will weigh less then my husband. In 7 pounds I will be the weight I was when I got pregnant with my son, over 10 years ago. In 17 pounds I will weigh less then I have in 7 years. I looked at the "Post op planner" and I am on track with 100% weight loss. Actually I was 1 pound below what it said I should be by month 3. And it has me loosing down to 160. OMG....that would be so sweet! I havent been that weight since my freshman year in HS. Well, I just wanted to write this down so I dont forget..........
4/15/06 weight 234, -83. Well, it was a great week. The kids and I went to Knoxville to visit DH Tuesday thru Friday. We had a great time. A couple things happened that I want to remember so I figured I should put them here. Tuesday, when we went to sleep, me and DH actually slept in a twin bed together......and had extra room! LOL The kids and I got up and went to the Knoxville Zoo on Wednesday and I walked for 3 hours straight. The kids were tired and telling me that their feet hurt and I told them that I felt fine....haha. Then went shopping. Bought a pair of size 16 pants at Old Navy, made my day! Thursday we went out to eat with about 15 of DH's friends, something I wouldnt have done before surgery. We went to a steakhouse that caters to the biker crowd. I bet that there was hundreds of motorcycles in the parking lot and a heck of alot of bikers too. We had a great time and I got a few looks as well. That was the most shocking thing. Guys have started to check me out again. Last night was my first WLS group meeting. It lasted 90 min and was interesting. Till next time............
4/30/06 weight 226, -91~~~Well, its been a few weeks since my last update. Thought I better drop by and fill in a few blanks. My hair is falling out by the handfulls. Very depressing! Im still loosing weight pretty fast. I enjoy that. Just 9 more pounds till I hit the -100 pound mark. I go to the doctor 5/2 for blood work and a check up. Im worried about getting fussed at for loosing to fast. But I cant help it, its coming off on its own. I have finally figured out a good pattern and get in all my vitamins everyday and I started taking 1000mg of Biotin on April 21. Thinking about increasing that to 2000. But I want to ask the doctor first. I havent had any peanut butter in 11 days. I think thats a record for me. But I got sick on it the last time I ate it and I realized...its to high in fat and calories. I could eat something like a whole piece of grilled fish and have less calories and fat and more protein. I think I have really started to make good progress with my eating habits. I choose good food and have still not ate chips, candy, cake or anything bad for me. Im shocked at how much willpower I have. But I really want to make it to onederland and I have 27 pounds to go and that will take 2-3 months probably so I cant cheat myself. Summer is right around the cornor and I want to feel good about myself. I started exercising and do situps and yoga. I want to do more but its hard not having anyone to watch the kids. But I think Im doing fine. I will update after my doctors appointment on Tuesday.
5/8/06 Well my doctors appointment went very well and all my labs were normal. I was told to up my calories to 500-700. Not to much new to report, I will post a weight tomorrow. Its hard to believe I will be 4 months already. Im pleased with my weight loss I just wish I could see it. When I look at myself I still see that 300 pound person staring back at me. I will post my measurements tho.
Neck: 14 1/2 (-2)
waist:35 1/2 (-9 1/2)
arm: 13 1/2 (-2 3/4)
chest: 42 1/2 (-9 1/2)
hips: 45 3/4 (-9 1/4)
thigh: 25 1/4 (-4 3/4)
calf: 17 (-2 1/2)
wrist: 6 3/4 (-1/4)
5/9/06 4 months post op~~220 pounds, -97 Its so hard to believe that Im 4 months today and I have lost so much weight. Just thinking about this journey brings tears to my eyes. I never believed I would come this far and my life would change so much. Im happier now then I have been in years and I feel like I no longer have the extra weight to hold me back. I pray that everyone wanting WLS has the chance to have it and experience this. It has been truely a gift.
5/19/06 Well, I have officially hit that freaky time when your body doesnt know what its doing. Everyone kept telling me about it and I thought I was just going to be one of the lucky ones where the weight just falls off and I never hit the wall. Well WRONG! After my 4 month pic I went up a few pounds. Nothing changed. I stayed with low cal and fat. Im now at 223 and have been here since the 13th. I went up 5 pounds overnight and I cant seem to make it go away. Its depressing and my hair is falling out like crazy. I will be bald in a few weeks at this rate. I keep telling myself that its been an amazing journey and to have lost 94 pounds is awesome. But I want to loose the rest. I worry sometimes that Im finished loosing and it scares me. I hope the weight starts coming off again soon.
5/28/06 weight: 219.6, total: 97.4 pounds Ok, this slow weight loss/stall is driving me nuts! I better get on those scales and have a weight loss tomorrow for "Monday morning weigh-in"! I need 2.6 more pounds to make Century Club and I want to get there so bad. It feels like I will never make it at this rate. And my goal to be there by July 4th seems impossible. I havent lost anything in so long. I pray its only a stall and I will start loosing again. On a positive note, I am loosing inches. But I wont lie, I really enjoy seeing the numbers on the scale go down. Im crossing my fingers it will happen soon. Ohhhhh, we got a puppy this week. I want to share a pick of him.
6/6/06 Weight:211.2 Total loss: -105.8 Well the weight finally started to drop again. I thought it would never happen. On May 31st I hit -100 pounds lost. I purchased an elliptical and I use it often. Or I workout at the gym. Im getting in all my vitamins and fluids. My hair is still coming out by the handfulls. Its scarey and I wonder when it will stop or if it will ever grow back. I guess it was a fair trade though....my hair for my life back. I do so many more things now and I enjoy my life, Im no longer afraid of it or what the future holds. Im buying size 14 jeans now and I havent worn that size in 7 years. In 2.2 more pounds I will be overweight, no longer obese! That is amazing to me. And in only 12.2 pounds I will be in onederland. I hope to make it there by July 14th. I will post measurement on the 8th and a pic on the 9th, although I havent lost much since last month. I bet I cant see a difference in the pics! I hope everyone is doing well.
6/8/06 Ok, so today is the 8th and time for my measurements. Although I hit a stall this past month and didnt loose hardly any weight, I still lost alot of inches.
Neck: 14 (-2 1/2)
Waist: 33 (-12)
Arms: 13 (-3)
Chest: 41 1/2 (-10 1/2)
Hips: 43 3/4 (-10 1/4)
Thighs: 24 1/4 (-5 3/4)
Calf: 16 1/2 (-3)
Wrist: 6 1/2 (-1/2)
6/9/06 5 months post op~~weight: 210.8, total loss: 106.2~~
All I can say is WOW!!! This has truely been the best thing I have ever done for myself. I only wish I would have done it sooner. But I am happier with myself today then I have been in many, many years. I still have 30.8 pounds to loose to reach my doctors goal and 50.8 to reach my personal goal of 160. The weight loss has really slowed down now, but I guess I should just suck it up and realize it fell off the first 4 months. I only lost 9.2 pounds this last month. But the post op planner says we will start to loose 8-9 pounds a month at this point so I guess this is normal. Any weight loss is better then none I suppose. I will update with my 5 month pic later today. All is well here and I hope everyone is doing great.
6/16/06 Ok, its 1 AM and I just jumped on the scale. It said 207.6! OMG!!! That means my BMI is in the 20's finally (29.8, lol) and I am no longer obese. Im now just overweight. I havent weighed this in 10 years or longer. Im still in shock......SHOCK! SHOCK I tell ya!!!!! Im so thrilled. Now on the my next goal......to be in onederland. I have 8.6 pounds to go. Im so happy with myself right now, can you tell?!?! lol
6/20/06 weight:204.6 pounds, -112.4 I went shopping yesterday and got several sleevless shirts at JC Penney. Then I made my way to the Gap. I fell in love with a pair of pants and I tried then on for fun. The 14's were a bit loose so I tried on the 12's thinking there was NO WAy they would fit. Well, they did. A size 12!!!!!!!! I was in shock and called everyone I knew to tell them. I just didnt want to forget that day.
6/28/06 ~~weight: 197, total loss: -120 pounds~~ Well, I finally made it to ONEderland. I never thought it would happen. Ive been working for this day since January and whats weird is, now that its here Ive already moved on to my next goal. I didnt even take time to enjoy this accomplishment. Now my next goal is to be at doctors goal of 180 by my appointment on 9/5/06. That gives me less then 10 weeks to get there. Cross your fingers! As for my goal weight, I have decided to shoot for anywhere from 129-160. That is considered normal for my height. We will just have to wait and see what my body wants. Till next time............
July 1st, 2006~~weight: 194.8~~ total loss: 122.2~~ Well the month of June was very good to me. I lost a total of 19.6 pounds. I was shocked because I figured the numbers would be dropping slowly by now. Im NOT complaining at all....lol. Jackie (my cousin) had WLS yesterday and she is doing very well. Im so happy for her. I will be 6 months post-op on the 9th and would love to loss down to 190 by then. That would put me at 10 pounds to doctors goal. As of right now Im 14.8 pounds away. I have no doubt I will make it to 180. But the truth is I know I wont be happy at that weight. Im still not sure just how low I wont to get to. Sometimes I struggle with that. I know for a fact I have to be below 174 so I will be at normal weight. Thats only 20 pounds away and seems to be in reach. Looking back at my goals I set in January I said I wanted to be -100 pounds by July 4th. I NEVER thought I would make that goal. But Im now -122 and still suprised. This is going to be a great 4th of July compaired to last year. Good luck everyone and I wish you all the best in your journey!
7/5/06 WOW!!!! Thats all I can say...WOW! We had a great 4th of July and to my shock, I allowed pictures to be taken of me! I have NO pics from last years 4th. Not one! But this year it was a different story, I wanted to see what I looked like. I feel like I get to see my true self in pictures. We went to the parade and then to see the fireworks. I had the best 4th of July I can remember. Im so happy to have my life back.
7/6/06 Well I just had to post this. I was cleaning out my closet and came across an old pair of pants I wore in January. I could barley squeeze my butt into them at the time cause they are a size 24T and I needed a 26/28 by that time. I put them on and I was shocked at how big they are. LOL, this really makes you see things differently! (Look over the fact that I have no make-up on.)
7/9/06 ~~6 Months Post-Op~~ 194.8 pounds, total loss 122.2
Its been an amazing 6 months. WLS has given me my life back. I am able and willing to do things now that I never thought possible 7 months ago. I worry sometimes that I will wake up and this will all have been a dream. I look back at my life the last few days before surgery and I know how miserable I was. I see it in my face in my before pic. I still feel that pain and my heart breaks for the person I once was. Hating that I gave up so many years of my life because I was over weight. Never wanting to go back to being that person. Sad, lonely, depressed, miserable, slowing dying. I want to thank my family for putting up with me these past 6 months, I know it must have been hard. I want to thank the January board, because without the support from the board I dont think I would have been able to push thru the hard times. And I want to thank Dawn for being such a good friend and always just a phone call away when I need her. I can honestly say that I am living the life I always wanted to. Im a confident, outgoing person now. And love my life!
Measurements:
Neck: 13 3/4
Waist: 31 1/4
Arms: 12 1/2
Chest: 39
Hips: 41 3/4
Thighs: 22 3/4
Calf: 16
Wrist: 6 1/2
7/24/06 WOW......can you say tired?!? Im still trying to catch up on my sleep. But I must admit, I had a great week at Dawns. We had a ball. Thanks sweetie for having me and my wild offspring for the week, i owe you big time! I came to a few conclusions this past week. First one being that 149 pounds isnt a realistic goal weight for me. I also found out Im not 5 foot 10........Im 5 foot 11. Im almost 6 foot tall!!!! So that changes my BMI and to get to a "normal" weight, I only need to loss 9 more pounds. My doctors goal is still 180 and I think I will make my personal goal around 170-175. Second, I need to get these food issues Im having under control. I need to stay away from fitday and the scale for awhile. I need to really break that habit. If I keep lossing weight like I have been I will be underweight by 1 year post op and I dont want that at all. So from now on Im sticking with 3 meals a day and 1-2 healthy snacks. I will be posting my menu daily to keep me on track and would welcome any support from the January board. I have alot of work to do. I still feel such guilt over food. So I need to work on this daily. Third........I have been letting my life just pass me by cause of my weight and Im no longer willing to let that take place. I want to be more involved. I need to find a career that I enjoy and make myself happy. Maybe school, maybe not. But I cant keep putting my life on hold because of my weight. Much love............till next time!
month. It has been an emotional summer for me. I have had my up's and downs. This past weekend was a "down". I have been struggling with my food choices and wanting to try different things, bad things! Im just so sick of protein. I want carbs and carbs are what got me to 317 pounds in the first place. I have horrible thoughts about if I gain the weight back. Im scared that I might. I fear that I will.......I have days when I wish I would have never had WLS and I have days where Im so glad I did. I am a food addict. I use/used food for emotional puposes and I really need help dealing with it. Hopefully this will all change and I can just be normal. I have only lost 5 pounds this month and that is depressing. I want to make goal but I cant determine what "goal" is for me. Somedays I think 175. Others I think 165 and then on yet other days I think 149. My mind is really messed up. I feel fat and ugly all the time. Normal BMI weight for me is between 179-134. I still feel like I will look horrible. I need help!
August 8th, 2006: Well, tomorrows the big day. 7months post op! Time sure does fly by. Not much new to report, I just wanted to type in my measurements for the month. Although I lost almost no weight, I still dropped a few inches. I guess I can live with that.
Measurements:
neck: 13 3/4
waist:31
arm: 12
chest: 38 1/2
hips: 40 1/2
thighs: 22 1/2
calf: 15 1/2
wrist: 6 1/2
*5 1/2 inches this month and a total of 59 3/4 for the past 7 months.
August 10th, 2006~~~ Well, I didnt get to update yesterday, I was in Knoxville visiting Chris. We stayed two nights and had a great time. We went to a baseball game and just enjoyed ourselves. I even have pictures to prove I was there.........lol. As for my 7th month, the weight loss has really slowed down. But I guess I need to learn to accept that and be happy where I am. I could be 300 pounds again and staying in my pj's all day. Life has changed so much in just a short time. Im truely happy with the weight I have lost. But I would like to make it to goal (180). Good luck to everyone.......much love!
August 16, 2006 "WHY????" This is the question that is always in my head now. Why am I still so fat? Why am I not happy? Why do I hate myself so much? Why is this process so hard for me but yet so easy for others? Why am I binge eating then fasting for days? Why am I the crazy one? ANSWERS: I dont have any. I dont know if I ever will. Will I ever be normal again? Im scared this is my life now and it depresses me. It haunts me. It completely consumes me. Last night I came to a few conclusions (thanks friend, you know who you are). But I have been letting my life get out of hand. I need to get control of myself and move forward instead of just letting life pass me by. I havent been the person I thought I would become after lossing 130+ pounds. Instead of becoming this wonderful wife and mother, I have become someone who has lost control of everything and I fear I will loss the most important things in my life......my husband and children. I have found that I lash out at them and I have no patience. I have so much anger and frustration inside me. So the only control I feel I have is with my food intake. But in all reality, I dont even have control of that. I have days were I binge eat and days were I allow myself no food. FOOD! Will it always be an issue? I wish I could just forget about it and live without it. I have issues! Major issues! If you only knew how hard a time Im having dealing with this........its unbelievable. I want a normall life. A life where I dont weigh myself 20 times a day. Where I dont count every calorie. Where I can just be a mom and wife and not a food addict. I dont like this anymore. I dont want this anymore...................
8/17/06 Its been a long week. I have been so busy and Im wore down and ready to just sleep all weekend. I had a few things happen today that shocked me. This morning I was running late (as always) and couldnt find a tshirt. So I grabbed one of Prestons. It was a childs Large........it fit. And it fit good, perfect. Im talking about a boys size large people! Later today I was shopping and found a shirt I fell in love with. It was a small and I just walked away. After thinking about it for a few minutes I decided to try it on. It fit also. I bought it......$3.48.......YAY!
August 30th, 2006 ~183.8 pounds~ Its getting close to the end of the month. Just wanted to update. Im 3.8 pounds away from doctors goal of 180. I need to get there before my appointment on 9/5/06. That gives me 6 days. The weight loss has slowed down. Ive only lost 5.2 pounds since the 9th. I have been having a horrible time with my blood sugar levels. If I eat any carbs it spikes way up then it crashes down to the 30's or 40's. Im not to sure what is going on with it but I have felt awful for the past week or two. I hope its not serious. I started my job in the ER. I love it. I do miss being home with the kids. But right now this is for the best and its a great job. I will post an update on the 5th after my doctors appointment. Till next time..........
Sept. 11, 2006~~8 months and 2 days post op.~~ All is well. Lossing weight way to slow tho. As of the 9th I was 183. The numbers go up and down a few pounds over the course of a week. But all in all, Im still taking off a few pounds a month. I want to get to atleast 165 pounds. Not sure if I will or not. Updated measurements and pictures at bottom of profile.
Neck: 13 1/2
Waist: 30
Arm: 12
Chest: 38 1/2
Hips: 40
Thighs: 22 1/2
Calf: 15 1/2
Wrist: 6 1/4
Sept 28th, 2006 ~~Weight: 179.4 Total loss: 137.6~~ As of today I made doctors goal. Im thrilled. Ive been waiting to see 180 on my scales for months, Never really thought I would make it. It seemed so unreal and so far out of reach 8 months ago. I tolf my self I would be amazed if I got to 217 (weird number I had in my head). Now looking back and realizing Im 38 pounds thinner then that. Lately Ive been eatting whatever I want. Last night at work I ate birthday cookie, an apple, a kiwi, chicken burrito, salsa and chips, beef jerky and a few bites of protein bar. Now remember that was in an 11 hour period. It was a long day and it was all in small quantities as well. I just wish I had the willpower to not eat junk food. Ive been getting in more water the past few days and I think that has helped alot. My next goal is to see the 160's. I know that that is months away and could be January before that happens. But Im fine with that. Im trying to make piece with my weight and trying to not go back to my old habits. Wish me luck!
October 9th, 2006~~weight: 178~~total loss:139~~ Happy 9 months to me! I lost a total of 5 pounds this month. It is going way to slow for me. But I cant tell you the last time I weighed 178. I guess it was high school. My BMI is now "normal". And as far as goals are concerned, they keep changing. My personal goal for now is 165. That would give me a BMI of 23.
