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July 19, 2008
A God of Love
Ephesians 3:17-19

 

The Lord doesn't base His love for us on our character or achievements. We know this because of God's promise in John 3:16 and His action in sending Jesus to die in our place.

The Savior's dealings with people show us the depth of God's love. Judas Iscariot, one of Jesus' disciples, ministered closely with the Lord for three years. In the end, Judas chose to betray Jesus. Even though Jesus knew what Judas would do, He never rejected him.

In another example of God's love, a woman was about to be stoned for committing adultery. She was condemned by the religious leaders. Jesus stepped in to protect her. Then, in love, He commanded her to sin no more.

And consider Peter. He loved Jesus and desired to follow Him always. In a moment of weakness however, Peter denied even knowing Christ. Jesus knew in advance the disciple would do this. But Jesus' love for the man didn't waver. In fact Jesus proved his love by appearing to Peter after the resurrection. Jesus gave Peter a prominent place in developing the church.

Two final examples of God's love include Zacchaeus, the greedy tax collector. He took advantage of his fellow citizens. And the Samaritan woman involved with a string of broken relationships and an immoral lifestyle. These facts didn't stop Jesus from approaching each of them and offering His forgiving love.

No one is beyond the reach of God's love. Through faith in Him, everyone, even the worst of sinners, can experience love's richness as His children.

Even America's poorest of the poor on Medicaid, which to even qualify for you have to be 275% BELOW the poverty level for AMERICA, Medicaid pays for gastric bypass or weight loss surgery. 

This is an interesting to think about.  If there is no food to eat in a refugee camp, there are no fat people. 

Vast prosperity and wealth, the US of America.

May 26, 2008
Waiting for God
Psalm 27:14

Our culture is an "instant" society. Because of inventions like the computer and the microwave, we're used to quick results. A fast pace isn't necessarily bad, but we should guard against becoming so set on immediate fulfillment that we can't wait for God's timing.

This problem existed long before the computer age. In Genesis 15:4-5, God revealed to Abraham that though he and his wife Sarah were too old to have children, a great nation would come from him. Abraham believed God but soon decided to handle matters himself. He took Sarah's servant Hagar as his wife so she could bear the promised son.

Abraham probably rationalized his decision, figuring the Lord wanted him to have a son. Since it seemed impossible any other way, surely this must be what God wanted him to do! But it wasn't. Abraham had to deal with the consequences of his actions, including jealousy and resentment between Sarah and Hagar. These problems in turn created further difficulties, both in the short term and throughout history.

The Lord was faithful, though. 14 years later, Sarah gave birth to Isaac. But, the consequences of Abraham's decision to step out of God's plan are still with us. The two boys grew to become the fathers of nations which are in conflict to this very day.

Like Abraham, we might believe God's promises but prefer immediate results. Or we may just want things done our way. Instead, ask the Lord to lead you. Then wait for Him. His way may not be what you think you want, but it is always best.

I amaze myself.

Well, here it is May 2008 and I am 261 pounds.  Notice how we say I AM _____________ pounds.  It isn't I weight 261 pounds, it is I am 261 pounds. 

I fell off the Kashi bars and Boost, and have been on a feeding frenzy lately.  

I have another appointment scheduled with Dr. Buchwald in July.  I have an appointment with my primary MD on June 2nd to discuss the surgery with him and get a referral.  My insurance will cover the surgery.  I have to do 5 phone call thingies. 

I am afraid of death.  I shouldn't be.  But, I am a single mom.  I am afraid that if I die my sons will be alone without me and they have no dad in their lives.  I am afraid that if I die my almost 14 year old disabled son will be alone in this world without his best advocate (me).  I do that part of my life right.  Whatever he needs, I get him.  And, I adore him.

I also have printed out letters requesting my med recs from other places to send to Buchwald.  

This is the furthest I have actually gone so far.

Here is my routine:

Be fat
Contemplate weight loss surgery
Get scared
Diet
Exercise
Lose 20-30 pounds
Gain it all back
Feel miserable

Be fat
contemplate Weight loss surgery
Get scared
and so on...
You get the picture right? 

WHAT AM I TO DO?

Kathy

Well, I canceled and was not going to reschedule.  I went out bought some Boost and some Kashi bars, and was convinced that I was going to lose 100 pounds drinking Boost and eating Kashi bars alone for the rest of my life.  



Story of my life.

I rescheduled with Dr. Leslie.  It says on his profile, which is much more in depth than the other surgeons that he does minimally invasive laparoscopic duodenal switch.  

Interesting.....

Maybe, it is a good thing that I could not get off work.

I have been researching the down sides to bariatric WL surgery.  Some sites say that Obesity Help has clear prejudice and only touts the positive aspects of WLS.  This website is full of people with horrible WLS experiences, and it is quite frightening really.  

I do not know if I am brave enough for this.  

I laugh at myself though.  Chicken out, buy some Boost, and then go eat Cheetos.  

I rock.  

Ya gotta laugh.

Kathy

Monday, October 22, 2007

Well, I called Buchwald's office this morning.  I am scheduled for Nov 22 for his "seminar", and then a f/u appointment with him afterwards.  I have to try to negotiate that morning off of work somehow.  

I got tearful over even making the appointment. 

U of MN Physicians must do things differently than other places like Rupp and Kelly and Mpls Bariatric surgeons.  I went several years ago to an intro meeting for St. Joe's.  They require you attend the meeting, and then make an appointment after you attend the meeting for a different date.  

I'd prefer surgery in St. Paul at United or some place closer to home.  However, I want the best surgery option and the best surgeon.  I do wonder what Fairview University Hospital Nurse to patient ratios are.  I wonder if they have a bariatric surgical floor or if their surgical patients are thrown on a floor with other surgical patients and medical patients. 

I think your surgeon is most important.  Secondly, is the quality of your nursing staff and your nursing care, which most people do not realize.  How many patients will your nurse care for?  Will you be on a medical / surgical unit or just a surgical unit?  (Medical patients have pneumonia, MRSA, VRE, influenza, etc, and then your nurse goes into their room, and comes into your room)  Will ONLY NURSES TRAINED IN BARIATRIC AFTER CARE BE ASSIGNED TO TAKE CARE OF YOU?!?!?!   This is another huge issue for nursing care.  Often times, hosptials are short-staffed, over-booked, and they will assign an untrained nurse to care for you, who may have NEVER cared for a bariatric patient before.

Does it scare you?  It should.  But, you should know these things.  And, mostly the nurse does not get to object or request not to be assigned to a patient she is not qualified to care for.  Union?  Union you say?  The nurses have a union?  Yeah, I was in one for 8 years, and was assigned to patients, floors, and assignments that I was not qualified to do or perform, and was assigned them anyway, much to my objection.  Follow-up with my union provided me with NOTHING.  This is why, I quit eventually, and took a different job.  I do not predict ever returning to acute care nursing for this very reason.  My nursing license was in jeopardy too often, and my union who took $58.00 per pay period, did nothing to help me.  

I'm scared.  I am scared to have surgery.  I am scared not to have surgery.  I am afraid to die on the operating table.  I am afraid to have a pulmonary embolism or stroke.  I am afraid to have some horrible complication or a nursing error and end up in a nursing home due to it.  

This is not WLS specific.  I am this way most of the time.  What is worse about WLS?  It is technically, optional or elective.......   medically necessary?  OK, yes, maybe, but still....  optional.  I could live another 40 years without it.  

This makes the decision even more difficult.

But, I made the appointment.  That was step 1.  Now, deciding between the surgeries and procedures, and having the guts (no pun intended), and bravery to go through with it.

I think the one thing people do NOT realize is that this WLS stuff takes guts and bravery.  YOU ARE BRAVE PEOPLE.  I AM A CHICKEN:  BOCK BOCK BOCK (Or whatever chickens say).  This decision is not for wimps or the faint of heart.  This separates the men from the boys, the little girls from the women, the pansies from the hearty ROSE (?)   OK, I am carried away.

I also have to get my medical records.  This should be fun.  I haven't really had a stable Primary care doc for awhile.  Think my eye doctor would write up an order for gastric bypass?  He is my most consistent doc for 13 years.  :)

Later you fabulous people.

Kathy