Pete R.

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So my date is set... plane tickets are bought... starting pre-op diet on Monday... but now emotions are starting to run rampant through my mind. 

No, I'm not doubting what I'm doing or why I'm doing it.  Nor am I doubting who will be doing the surgery.  This is a humongous change with so many open ended questions that won't have answers until after everything is done.  It just makes my mind think too much and when it things way too much, it tends to cause more problems than answers.

For example, people say that their taste buds change after the surgery.  What does this mean?  Could it mean that I'll actually like the taste of veggies now?  Will I no longer enjoy the taste of beef or chicken?  

Or how bout this...  everywhere I read, folks say no more sodas... yet when mom had her surgery, she drank sodas all the time.  Will no sodas be a rule to follow or simply something my body won't be able to handle?

And of course there's the whole morbidness of possible death from the surgery.  As I said earlier, I trust that I've chose a good doctor in a great facility, and I'm confident that everything will be just fine.  But, this is a major surgery and shit happens.  Am I prepared for this kind of situation?  Have I done the things I've wanted with my life?  Morbid and silly I know, but it's something one has to think about

Oh well... I need to find some kind of distraction.  Maybe I'll go run through the streets naked so that my fat jigglin' will end up on you tube... 

So after a whole bunch of research, I've made the decision to definitely go through with the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy.  The relative newness of the surgery is a bit bothersome, but the pros of the surgery completely outweigh the cons of it. 

I've also narrowed it down to two surgeons.  You see, i'm doing this whole surgery thing out of pocket, so I didn't want to just find the "cheapest" surgeon.  I'm going to be going to Mexico for the surgery.  I've found the most comfort out of the web page presentations for Dr. Liza Maria Pompa Gonzalez from Tijuana and Dr. Guillermo Alvarez from Monterrey.  Their training is what has made me choose between these two.  Both are members of the "big" associations for bariatric surgery.  Both have tremendous facilities.  Both have received training in the US, and oddly enough, that was the most important thing to me.  I guess it just adds some confidence about them in some way.  So now i've sent off for their formal information and costs of the procedure, so we'll have to wait and see who I go with.

I've also started thinking about who I'm going to bring with me to Mexico for the surgery.  And this has greatly depressed me.  I'm very single, so I have no significant other to bring with me.  I'd like to bring my sister, but she can't take a week off of work.  I could bring my dad, but he'd drive me batty by the time we got back home.  And sadly, that's all I can think of.  Depressing really...

Back in January '09, I was unloading a bunch of large music instruments for a convention out of my work van and twisted the wrong way causing me to hurt my back.  I reagravated it a week later doing the exact same thing for a second convention.  I had an appointment with my PCP and asked him to look at it.  He looks at me, asks me what I did, and then proceeds to say, "yeah, you probably strained it.  Lose some weight and you'll be fine."  Really doc?  Really... lose some weight is your remedy.

9 months later and I'm still having back problems.  Work finally decided to send me to an Orthopedist.  He poked, prodded, and asked me all kinds of useless questions.  He says, "yeah, it is probably a muscular issue however your weight probably isn't helping things any." 

Do doctors really think by constantly pointing out that I'm fat will help me become motivated to lose weight?  Do they really think I don't know this?  I've been at 300 lbs +/- for several years now and my back was fine before January.  Really?  This doesn't motivate me.  It pisses me off to no end.  I know i'm fat... been that way all my life.  I know I need to lose weight, and I even know that a lot of my medical issues are weight related.  I know this and I have every desire to do something about it.  BUT I CAN BARELY WALK 10 YARDS WITHOUT MY BACK TWISTING INTO A PRETZEL.  I CAN'T EVEN STAND UP FOR MORE THAN A FEW MINUTES BECAUSE OF MY BACK.  Lay off my damned weight problem and come up with a way to help me get my back into a live-withable state!

So how was your day?