KimOT17

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I haven't written on here in FOREVER!  Well, I'm down 107lbs.  I feel good about my weight loss.  I am seeing a counselor once per week.  I have a lot more energy and trying to learn new things.  I'm currently taking a "learn to row" class....like on a crew team!  I'm doing well and loving it!  I still have 3 jobs and am the president of the Junior League.  I also have a foster child.  I often get upset if I see the scale go up one or two pounds.  It really hasn't moved in a while.  However, I've been very stressed out lately and going back to bad eating habits.  I need to get myself back on track.  I have NOT been going to the gym, but thought this rowing thing was good exercise.  I'm now thinking that I need to go to the gym in addition to rowing. 
I am noticing that I am getting more attention from people...people don't even realize that I used to be fat.  I am also a bit upset about some of the extra skin.  I hate the extra skin on my arms, between my legs and my stomach.  It's better than having it filled with fat though!  :>)  My husband is no longer dieting.  He tends to eat my leftovers instead.  I wish he was more conscious of his health and his appearance, but I think it scares him. 

February 25th 

So i had lap surgery on the 15th.  After the surgery i felt wonderful.  That night at about 2am i started profusely throwing up every 10 minutes.  It went through all the way until the 17th.  On the 17th they took a CAT scan and noticed my intestine was hanging out of my abdominal wall.  I had to go back in for emergency surgery.  Turns out that my surgeon did the whole surgery.  His partner did the stitching.  WELL, he just happened to forget one of the inner stitches.  He apologized to my husband and told him that there was no evidence of the stitch ever being there.  There was no tear and there was not a stitch dangling around anywhere.  Since my doc was not on call that weekend and was on a trip in NYC, the other doc ended up opening one of the bigger holes to 6 inches and stapling it shut.  Also, i had to keep that stupid drain in for 4 days at home.  What a pain that was.  Also, it was hell when he pulled it out on thursday in his office.  

emotionally i was a mess after the puking and finding out the bad news and that i had to stay in the hospital for 5 days instead of 3.    i also now have a higher chance of haivng a hernia now that i technically had one.  i can't lift for 8 weeks instead of 4.  i'm a therapist with kids, so this really bothers me.  i'm doing okay now and lost 12 pounds so far.  not sure if i should count my surgery day as the 15th or the 17th.  but i wasn't able to sip drinks until the 18th....so i guess the 17th.  So i'm not 8 days postop.  12lbs in 8 days...not too shabby.  

HOWEVER, believe it or not....i'm really down and kind of depressed.  My doc allowed me to up my lexapro to 20mg....not sure if it's helping yet though.  i'm usually so active from like 7:30am to 7:30pm and never stop moving.  I think just the sitting around and walking around stores to get in my 30 minutes of walking is driving me nuts.  physically it's what i need, but emotionally i'm being a pain in the ass to everyone.  i'm starting to get a bit better, but i know i have at least one more week of this.  anyway, this is my story.

 

i'm not hungry and i barely eat anything.  i usually have about 4oz of milk for breakfast...just because it's time to eat  not because i'm hungry.  then for lunch i eat a piece of jello and maybe about 4oz of broth.  then for dinner i have broth and milk.  that's it.  i used to feel really shaky when i didn't eat and always want to grab a snack.  if it wasn't for having to feed jon, i would probably forget to eat.  also i sip on water all day.  yesterday, i tried crystal light and that worked out well.  also, yesterday we had to drive to oneonta to drop off my mom and meet my dad there.  we went into a diner.  boy was i  scared.  but i asked if they had a soup with broth and they had chicken orzzo.  i asked if they could strain it for me and to give me a cup of it.  it was soooooo wonderful and tasty, but i just ate about 8 sips of it and i was full.  however, since it was so much better than just eating stupid chicken broth from the can, i asked for some to go.  it was so much tastier.  i only have a week left on this clear liquid diet.  then i get to go to regular liquid...so i can eat sugar free yogurt, chocolate pudding, cream of wheat, creamier soups, etc.  i'm so excited about that.  but the weirdest part was that while i was eating my little sips of soup, eric ordered a huge chicken cordon bleu dinner and jon had chicken fingers and french fries with sodas.  it bothered me a little when eric went to the salad bar, but i just pictured myself eating all of that food and it didn't feel appetizing anymore.  i know it would make my new stomach all kinds of upset, so it made me feel better.  i was truly stuffed when we left so that also made me feel better.  it's amazing how much food i would have eaten if i went there without the surgery.  i would have eaten tons of stuff on the salad bar....few extra pieces of bread for no reason, and then finish my dinner with chocolate pudding as the dessert.  wow....no wonder i was gaining weight every year.  it's kind of crazy.