Kelshei

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I have *got* to get back on track. I think I may need to suck it up and make an appointment to see the nutritionist or something because I need some reminders of what I'm supposed to be eating and how much I need to be eating with the exercise I'm doing. Do I stick to the 1000-ish kCal that I was supposed to be getting right after surgery, or do I need to up that amount based on the exercise? All I know is that I'm rapidly approaching my 3-year surgiversary and I'm still almost 100# from my goal weight. ::sighs:: I may need to see a counselor, too. I dunno. All I know is that I'm floundering by myself. That's why I've logged back into OH. I re-joined Weight Watchers, too, for good measure. Hopefully between the two levels of accountability, I'll find my way back to the loser's bench.

I remember the first time I did the Race for the Cure 5K. I didn't do any training for it but I was walking semi-regularly. Granted, I was something like 25 years old, too. ;) I don't remember my time, but I know I was pushing the hour mark. The next few I did, I was like "I can do 3.1 miles, really!" I thought I was pushing myself the first time I signed up for an 8K (5 miles), and it took me about an hour and a half to walk.

Fast-forward to this year. In June of last year, I decided that I needed a fitness goal instead of a "number on the scale" goal, so I signed up to walk the half-marathon. If I learned nothing else from this experience, it was to start upping my mileage sooner because I ended up sick for a month with bronchitis and lost a LOT of training time. So I'm going to be starting in October this year. I may also actually be running the half next year. I don't know yet. Anyway, I lost training time, so I ended up having to re-evaluate my finish time. I'd originally hoped to finish in 3.5 hours. After I got sick, I upped that to 4.5 hours. I finished in 4:13:34, so I'm considering that a win! Before starting to train for the half-marathon, my PR for a 5K was 54 minutes. I've been doing the Couch to 5K program so I thought I'd be able to run/walk the 5K I did on Saturday, and I did. In fact, I ran (slowly, yes, but I ran) all but 10 minutes of it. :) And I have a new PR: 50:32!

I did C25K yesterday at the gym, and am only a little sore, so I really think that my body is adapting to the running. I believe that my fitness routine is going well and I know I'm seeing positive changes in my body. So, what I need to work on now, is my fuel. I think I may need to talk to my nutritionist, perhaps, and see if I'm eating enough for my workout levels. I also need to be much more consistent with what I'm eating. I have days when I'm really good and days when I fall back on the habits that helped me soar to 300+ pounds. 

So I'm working on getting back on track. I'm not entirely sure the best way to do that, so I've joined the Back on Track Together group for help.

I swear, the next person who tells me that WLS is the "easy" way out, I'm slapping them across the face. ;)

Technically, I'm two years and four months out, but let's not squabble over semantics. ;) I really fell off the wagon last year around my birthday, when I was really hoping to be at goal. That didn't happen, I got depressed over it, and fell back onto old habits. As a result, I'm not only *not* at goal, I've gained a bit of weight back. So I've been thinking hard about what has been going wrong and how to fix it.

The first decision I've made is that my scale and I are on a trial separation. I decided that getting so hung up on the movement of the scale was part of how I got fat in the first place. So, when I go to the doctor, I ask to be weighed facing away from the scale and I'll *them* worry about that number for the time being. What I'm doing instead is taking my measurements monthly. I figure that is a more realistic view of the changes in my body. I also came up with a list of the ways I'll know I'm at goal that have nothing to do with the number on the scale. :)

1. I'll know I'm at goal when I'm able to run (or walk in under 50 minutes) a 5K.
2. I'll know I'm at goal when I'm able to bend over at the waist and put my palms flat on the floor and when I can sit on the floor with my legs v'd in front of me and can put chest on the floor. I know I can do this again. Darn it.
3. I'll know I'm at goal when I'm able to get off of at least one more prescription medication. (Note: this one may be un-acheivable because the only med that I can see getting healthier helping me get off is the diuretic. I might be able to get off the cholesterol meds but my Daddy needed them until he died and he was in pretty good shape and not at all overweight.)
4. I'll know I'm at goal when all of my blood work comes back within normal ranges, even if I have to be medicated for some of them (thyroid &c). All lab tests in general (mammograms, bone density, etc)
5. I'll know I'm at goal when I'm in clothing sizes I've not worn since high school or earlier (size 12 or smaller, men's medium t-shirt).
6. I'll know I'm at goal when I feel comfortable in a 2-piece bathing suit, even if I never actually wear one.
7. I'll know I'm at goal when I feel just as confident nude as I do fully clothed (I'm actually getting pretty close on this one, just not in front of people I don't know well ;)).
8. I'll know I'm at goal when I have the confidence to take dance classes again, even if they stick me in a class with "tiny teens in tights". (Many dance studios stick teens and adults in the same class. There is one studio in town that's about body acceptance... I might start there.)
9. I'll know I'm at goal when I have spoons more frequently than I don't. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, go to http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/)
10. I'll know I'm at goal when my doctors can't find anything to complain about when I go in to see them. ;)

So. How do I get there? Right now, I'm working hard on the exercise end of things. I just completed a half-marathon (13.1 miles) in early April and I have a 5K (3.1 miles) on Saturday. I'm doing the Couch to 5K program to transition from walking to running and I'm doing that MWF. I need to find some easy-on-my-knees options for cardio for TR, but I've not figured it out yet. I'm also lifting weights three days a week. The diet end of things is getting trickier because I sincerely doubt that the Basal Metabolic Rate calculators don't take into consideration that someone has had bariatric surgery. Do I stick with the 1000-1200 kCal that my doc says I should get? Or will that make my body think I'm starving it with all this exercise? I know that my weight will take care of itself in the end, but I don't want to thwart myself by not eating enough. Maybe I need to make an appointment with the nutritionist or something and see what she says.

I'm open to suggestions here.

Hubby and I braved the ice & snow to go to the hospital for my pre-admission testing. I met with the anesthesiologist and answered questions about my medical history. I had an EKG, chest x-ray and bloodwork. Since the College was closed for a snow day, we went home and took a nap.  When I woke up, I was not happy because it felt like I was coming down with a cold. Of course that made me FREAK out! I've been really good about not getting sick and the fact that I got a cold a week to the day before my surgery.... Gah! I emailed my surgeon's office and got an email back telling me to treat it like I normally would and that it shouldn't cause any reason for my surgery to be cancelled/postponed. I feel better now. I'm pushing fluids and non-NSAID cold medicine. I already feel better than I did Monday, so I'm hopeful that I'll be good to go by Sunday night.

I have to be at the hospital at 6AM on Monday for my surgery, which starts at 7:30. So, by lunchtime on Monday, I should be on the loser's bench!

Yesterday was my pre-op consult with the surgeon and I thought it went really well! The husband had to go with, so he finally got to meet Dr. Colquitt officially. Hubby'd seen Dr. Colquitt at support group meetings, but this was his first time actually being introduced. I was a little nervous to be weighed because my scale at home showed that I still had nearly four pounds to lose before I hit the magic 15 that was 5% of my start weight. Well, Dr. C's scale must love me more than my scale at home because it weighed me at 278, which puts me at 16.5# down from my initial weigh-in!!! That means that whatever I lose on the remaining 9 days of the liquid diet are gravy.  Dr. C drew on a picture of the abdominal anatomy what he'd be doing with the surgery so that the husband could see. He'd already done it for me at my initial consult, but it was nice to see it again. He then explained where my incisions would be and told me the largest one, the one they take the removed portion of my stomach out through, will be in my bellybutton so I won't even be able to see it. The other four will be about 5mm long. I looked at a ruler and those are TEENSY! 5mm is shorter than my pinky nail is wide. I know they'll sting like papercuts & that I'll be sore, but Hubby still states that I'm getting off easy compared to the incision he had when he had surgery to fix internal bleeding when he was 18 where he was practically cut in half. Laproscopic surgery is definitely the bomb! Dr. C gave me a scrip for phenergren for nausea and lortab elixir for pain if I need them. He said that most of his patients don't need pain killers or anti-nausea for too long post-op. I'm OK with that. I also got a scrip for Prilosec (or Prevacid AC), a PPI, which I'll have to take daily for 3 months. Starting next week, I have to wash my belly 2 times per day with Hibiclens and next Sunday, I have to drink a bottle of magnesium citrate. At the end of the appointment, he listened to my stomach and lungs. I don't know what one's stomach is -supposed- to sound like, but evidently mine sounded good.

Monday is pre-admission testing. I should also get the time I'm supposed to be at the hospital at that point. I'm so excited!

I had my "Post-Op Survival Skills" class today, which is basically a visit with the nutritionist. The first part of the class was neat, though, because the RN who is the Bariatric Coordinator was there to tell us about the logistics of the surgery like where we check in, how long we're in holding, how long we're in surgery, how long in recovery, the fact that we have to walk about 2 hours after surgery (though she said even if it's just to the door and back, that counts), et cetera. My hubby was with me so he got to hear all of it first hand, which was helpful. Then the nutritionist went over our 10 steps to success, most of which I already knew, but the surgeons in the practice recently decided that we have to be on liquids a lot longer than we used to. So I'll pretty much be on a liquid diet for a month. That's OK, though. The best part of the class was that she had plastic "food" that represents our portion sizes post-op. I'd been trying to describe the portions to the hubby, but having him -see- it was much better.

Now I meet with the surgeon on Thursday for my pre-op consult. I have to take a quiz to make sure I understand everything, and he'll show me where the incisions will be, he'll tell me how much more weight I need to lose and give me the order for Hibicleanse and any scrips I'll need to take post-op.

Monday, I go for my pre-op testing which I was told today means a chest x-ray, EKG, bloodwork and meeting with the anesthesiologist.

The liquid diet started yesterday, and I'm down 2# from yesterday's weight. That puts me within 3# of having the full 15# off. I may actually be able to do that before Thursday.  We'll see.

I received approval for my surgery 11/29/2010. On 12/01/2010, I got the call with my surgery date, as well as the dates for my Post-op nutrition class, my pre-op consult with my surgeon, my pre-op testing and the 10-day post-op check up.

12/05/2010 Start liquid diet
12/06/2010 Post-op Nutrition class
12/09/2010 Pre-op consult with surgeon
12/13/2010 Pre-op testing
12/20/2010 SURGERY, baby!
12/30/2010 1st post-op visit with surgeon

I'm not exactly looking forward to the liquid diet, but I knew that it was always a possiblity because my body didn't want to cooperate and lose the measly 15 pounds my surgeon wanted me to lose. I did end up losing 10-ish, so... I hope I have good results with the liquid diet and end up losing at least 15 more pounds.