kelly013

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Well i'm almost a year post op and I can't believe the transformation my body has taken. I look like me again!  Actually I'm smaller then I ever was and I can't believe it.  I went back home for a wedding and saw people for the first time in about 5 years and got so many compliments.  My favorite was "stunning".  I felt great and I look great.. finally.  I dont cringe anymore when I look at photos.  I actually like having my picture taken again.

Though, with all this there are some downsides.  I developed a blood clot in my leg back in Jan.  I decided to go back on birth control pills after being off them for about 5 years now.  I had a blood clot back in 01 due to drywall being dropped on my leg so I went off the birth control pills.  I figured after all this time, and the fact that the blood clot wasn't due to the pills, why not go back on them.  THe dr's even confirmed it would be fine.  Well ... it wasn't.  My right calf is slightly larger then my left due to the blood clots that have since formed.  Now I have to wear compression hose to see if it makes a difference.  Not fun in the summer months I tell ya!  

Other downsides, while I don't have a TON of loose skin, I do have some.  I am not happy with my arms, you can see the stretch marks and my skin hangs down farther then I like.  My thighs are also "flabby".  I think it looks like what a 70  year old women's skin would look like.  My stomach is fine - but I've never been big on that area.  My boobs are like dried up pruns.  I used to be a 38 DD, now i fit between a 34 D or C and its very wrinkly.  I've never had small boobs and for the first time in my life, i'm considering having a breast enhancement.  However, I know I will need to wait to see exactly where my body is going to end up and maintain a consitant weight for a while before I make any type of plastic surgery decisions.  I also have NO butt!  

I do have a wonderful boyfriend who has been with me from the beginning.  He consitantly tells me that he liked me "bigger" as well as how I am today.  He never thought of me as fat and was very attracted to me at my larger size.  We've been together for over 8 months now and I couldn't be happier.  He on the other hand, says that while I lose weight, he is starting to gain it! :)  It could be b/c he hates to see my leftovers and finishes his dinner plus half of mine!  Now, if only i can talk him into splitting food with me, so we'll both be lighter in weight and the wallets! ;) 

I can eat pretty much anything. I do notice that hambergers still do NOT have any appeal to me at all.  I did get sick on sushi the other day but that could be due to eating to fast!  I also need to stop the bad habit of drinking while eating my meals!  No dumping either.. thank god!  

Life is good.

Well to start off.. the past three months have just flown by.  Actually the past 6 months have gone by really fast.  I went and saw the dr this past monday for my 6 month check up.  To his calculator - I was at 173 pounds (today a week later my scale says 166).  And that I'm actually ahead of schedule and doing really well with my weight loss.  

I don't have to much loose skin - although I am noticing that I have absolutly no butt, and clothes I bought a month ago- now are totally sagging in that area and much to big.  I need to get my (no) butt into the gym and start toning up.. but I just can't find the engergy to get in there.  

Food seems to be my enemy.  I just don't eat much at all.  I'm never hungry, ,nothing ever sounds good, and when I do try to eat I get about 3-4 bites in and I don't want anymore.  Does anyone else have this issue?  For instance today I had a glass of milk for breakkfast, a cup of yogurt and some penut butter crackers for lunch, and dinner some hummas and pita.  Yesterday all i had was 3 bites of a hamburger, then got a bannana and yogurt.  I'm starting to wonder and worry i'm going to lose TOO much weight. 

Wow, I just stepped on the scale and I am 2 pounds away from being in Onederland!! I can't believe it.  I'm hitting my goals that I had set for myself two months early.  I even put on a pair of pants from Abercrombie to wear to work today, (size 12) and they FIT!!!!!  A little snug when I sit down, but I could def get away with wearing them.

I also talk to my dr today for my 3 month check up.  I THINK i'm doing ok with eating.  It's not my favorite thing to do, but hopeing the choices i've been making he'll be happy with.  

On another happy note, i've started seeing someone who knows about my surgery and he is very supportive.  Hopefully this will be the start of something really special!

Well i've not been too great at blogging on here.  I'm losing weight steadly.. over 40 pounds and almost at the half point mark!  CLothes I've not worn for over 4 years are fitting again.  So much nicer to have more choices in my closet!  I just can't wait till I can go into any store and buy a pair of pants and not be limited to Lane Bryant.

I haven't been eaitng a lot - food scares me still (solid foods that is).  I just went on a business trip, and thank god I didn't pay for any of my meals.  I ordered mostly fish on each meal - and barely had more then 4 bites.  So much food is always left!  I even tried to hid some of it under my potatos so it looked like i ate more then i did!  I think i lost 3 pounds in the two days I was gone.

I tried salad today for the first time and that went down well.. which is really exciting b/c that is something ALL resturants have!  So I no longer have to make excuses on why I don't go to lunch.  At least I have one thing I knoow will work for me.  :)

30 pounds lost so far!  One of my guy friends made a comment to my friend yesterday when I walked out of the room and she was so kind to tell me later.  he say "she has lost a lot of weight!".  :)  So guess its starting to show and people are beginning to notice!

On a downside- think my hair is starting to fall out a little.. UGH

Things I've vomited on:

banannas
shredded chicken
oatmeal (which used to work for me)
baked potato
shredded ham
beans
scrambled eggs

Almost anything semi solid i have a problem getting down.  If i can basically chew it up so that it disintigrates in my mouth I have no problems (like chocolate, pretzels, potato chips, --- all BAD stuff).

 I tried applesauce today and it went down ok.  Cheese stick = fine, yogurt = fine, milk = fine.   Bought a Kellogs protein water today, hopefully i like the taste of it!  Cause I need some proteen to give me energy!

i've soo dying for a pizza, or grilled cheese!

welp - tried a banana and up it came.... :(

So, i'm now about 5 1/2 weeks or so out since my surgery and if I go by my (slow) moving scale on which i weight myself on (daily) - it appears i've lost about 24 pounds.  My pants def. fit looser and I cannot wait till i fit back into a pair of my size 14 dress pants from Express.  Next goal after that will be my size 12 Abercrombie khaki's from my freshman year in college!  

Unfortunately - I'm not progressing to well on my diet.  In the past week or so, i think i've thrown up the foamies about every day.  Last night I tried a baked potato from Wendy's with butter and sour cream, had about 3 bites and had to run to the bathroom.  I don't know if I'm not chewing it up enough, or what but anything with substance just seems to stick in my chest and make me feel horrible.  I have noticed that I do fine with dark chocolate (a very small bite size bar). :)  However, the dr wants me to try meat - ah yeah.. no thanks.  If it isn't yogurt, pudding, soup or cheese - i don't want any part of it.  Granted a few of the things I got sick on where not things I should  have been trying - but I couldn't help myself.  ( 3 small bites of a french fry, mac and cheese - which went down a week ago fine, instant oatmeal - this works for me about everyother day).  I am getting worried about my protein intake - since I don't eat much and went the other day to get some powder to mix in my oatmeal - 2 bites of that and up it came.  My co-workers  (who don't know i had this surgery) are starting to think i'm bullimic!

So, haven't weighed myself recently- my roomate hide the scale from me which I found out this morning when I went to get ready for work.  It kinda ticked me off, since I wasn't obsessing about it!  I don't think i've lost much, but I've noticed my pants are fitting looser.  I still have a long way to go though!  

I went back to work on Monday, just working half days, so thats nice to get caught up and still be home early to go walking or go to the gym.  I went tonight to the gym for the first time and did 1/2 hr on the elliptical (about 2 1/2 miles) and then 15 min on a bike.  I was a little winded after that and quite sweaty!

I also am not eating much, my diet consists of an instant oatmeal packet for lunch, then either mashed potatos, or cream of mushroom soup for lunch, and dinner another packet of   either oatmeal, grits or cream of wheat or yogurt.  Its been hard saying no to coworkers who ask me to go to lunch, i'm starting to feel out of the social loop since I don't want to go out to bars since I can't drink!  

Other then that I feel pretty normal, and my mind keeps telling me that I can have anything I want, I just have to tell myself no!  I can't wait till I can start eating normal foods though.  On Fridays my co-workers always go to Chipolte for lunch and I soooo want to go tomorrow!  I did munch on a couple of pretzles tonight (like 5 mini ones) and they went down fine.  SO (knock on wood) i've not had any issues with food yet.  Although I did have a glass of milk the other day, ,and while it went down fine, it kinda tasted funny to me.  Which is really strange since I LOVE milk.  

Sooo.. a week 1/2 more on full liquids, then on to 2 weeks of pureed food... then finally I can eat reg foods like chicken!  God, I so hope b/c I'm not getting much protein that my hair doesn't all fall out!

So my mom has two scales.  All along i've been weighing myself on the white one she has.  So she tells me today to not use that white one and the black one works better.  

I get on the white one and it says my weight is currently at 252, not bad, down about 7 pounds.  Then i try the black scale.. it tells me i'm at 241. WHAT?  I get back on it, 240.  I am so confused.  

I procceed to get two hand weights that my mom has and place them on each scale. (the weights weigh a total of 10.5 pounds).  The black one tells me 11 pounds first try, and then 10 second.  The white one just gives me ERR.  Ugh, so I talk to both my parents and get conflicting stories on which is correct.  My mom likes the black (thinking b/c is gives a lower readng and thus she likes thinking she weighs less).  My dad likes the white and said that the last time he went to the dr's they weighed him and then he came home and the white scale said the same as the dr. office.  

So - what to do? Which scale do I listen to???  The black one which says I've lost a total of 18 pounds, or the white one which says I've lost 7?
Or neither and just wait till the dr weighs me on Friday?  None of these scales though are what I'm going to be using at home.. so maybe I should ignore all three and go with my home one? Or freaking buy a NEW one.. Scales suck! And for now, in order to not get to excited, I'll go with the 7 pound lose and hope that by the time fri comes, i'll be closer to the 18 pound mark or more!