keepfighting1

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92 lbs lost and i feel like such a failure.  Why do I feel like that?  I should be proud to have lost this weight, but I am sad that I have given up.  I just want to cry.  Why has food taken over my life again?  All I asked God to do is give me a new lease on life to start over and  he has.  I have chosed to give up.  God has not given up on me, I have given up on myself.  I cannot break this addiction.  So hard to do this on your own.  I really need a support group in my life or something to look forward to in my life.  Something to actually make me happy to give me a new reality.  I have to do this for me.  God help me to realize that I need to move on and get to my goal.  Food will not overpower me!!!

3 weeks post op and have lost 35 lbs. Had problems though.  Tues-thurs was in hospital for dehydration.  They poked me 22 times to get a vain.  6 bags of fluids I received.  It is now monday the week after and I still have not lost the 8 lbs nor can I keep fluids in me.  allergic to milk, whey, aspertame, etc.  Using Soy protein and Soy milk.  It is ok. don't really like it.  Scared I will be admited again.

9 days post op.  Had a set back on Sunday.  went too long on the treadmill and had terrible pains for 2 days.  Don't know if I tore something or not.
Today is fine.  Still feel like I may have done damage somehow.  Not feeling the drinks in my pouch.  Feel it on the other side.

Thru the grace of God I have lost 12 lbs.  It is really hard seeng food and not being able to eat it.  I only have 1 week and 1 day til my surgery.  I have a lot of praying to do.