I had been thinking about weight loss surgery for years. My sister had the surgery about 5 years ago and I had watched her lose around 120 pounds. I thought that "someday" I would be able to do it on my own, and I didn't have the money or insurance to cover it anyway. I went through periods of jealousy, depression, and hopelessness as I continued to gain weight. I have never been a thin person, and even at my smallest weight in high school, I thought I was fat. I have gained over 100 pounds since my marriage 12 years ago and the birth of two children. I talked about the surgery but there was always the money issue.
This year, my husband finally decided that the surgery was not a bad idea, and that he would support me. I always felt that his support was cruical in my success. There would have never been a "good time" money wise. We knew that we would have to take out a loan, and I will probably drive the same car for a couple of extra years. I decided that for once, my health and happiness should be a priority. I felt that my husband, my children, and myself would benefit so much if I could live with the frame of mind that any other "normal" person has. I had become a person who never looked in the mirror, and avoided social situations whenever I could. I want to ride roller coasters and go skating with my kids. I want to go to church on Sunday morning wearing something nice and not something that just "fits". I want to shop in the regular section of stores. I want to see my own face in the mirror again. Basically, I want to LIVE again. I am now 5 months post-op, and I am starting to see a glimmer of all of those things that I want, starting to happen. I feel better, I look better, and I am happy. I still have many, many, "issues" to deal with...but one step at a time, and I will get there.
