Karen H.
Starting over
Jan 01, 2009
Life can be so complicated. Turning 50 in April, being Grandma to the Wonderful, Beautiful, Silly Princess Nemi, Mom to Laurie with 3.8 GPA. Being in a wonderful relationship with Marlin for 6 years.
Life "should be" just freaking fantastic, but it isn't. I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar Disorder in 1995 and have been on anti-depressants ever since. Some days are better than others and some are much worse.
I have been in the best relationship of my life for over 6 years. He is caring, compassionate, warm, everything I never looked for in a man. I was not looking for Marlin, he found me. Interesting that he kept after me to chat on the computer and I never had time. On the one Saturday I had time, we spent 2 hours typing, 2 hours voice on computer and 8 hours on the phone. I guess you could say, the rest is history. He loved me when I was 300 pounds before surgery and still loves me at 175-180 that I am currently at. He was there every day at the hospital, some group meetings and there for me at home.
I decided to move out of his house that is shared with his 76 y/o mom, brother that is 1 year older than him and the brother's gf. I finally couldn't handle the darkness in the basement bedroom, knowing that the brother and his gf wanted me long gone form the house. That his mom does not want him involved with me, even after 6 years. Feeling that I did not have the right to go upstairs and use the kitchen, esp when I get corrected that I don't know how to cook. Even when I bought my own food and brought it upstairs to use the stove or oven. We supplied our own microwave, fridge and toaster oven so that I did not have to go upstairs unless it was absolutely necessary.
When I had wls in June, 05, I really did not expect her to do alot to help. She basically told me that she thought I would fail. I think she took a perverse pleasure in how sick I was for months until we found out I had an ulcer created by my bi-polar meds that we had changed to liquids. I can remember her trying to make a pumpkin pie with splenda that turned out horribly, she measured wrong. She serves mashed potatoes 3-5 times a week, cooks a pot roast to death. OK, she grew up in the depression but that does not mean you have to overcook everything you make. I gave up trying to NOT drink with meals, so that I could wash down the protien that she made. Things were just so dry that I had to drink.
NOW>>>>>>>
I have moved into my own little apartment. I have a little u-shaped kitchen, combo living/dining room, bedroom and bath. It seems small but it is just enough for me. I have my own space to decide what to cook, when to eat and how to make it. I am having alot of trouble coming up with ideas of what to make, judging how much to make so I don't end up with tons of leftovers that I have to eat for days, or freeze and then not eat. I am terrible about using up leftovers, if I can add something and change the flavor somewhat it is easier for me to use things up.
I am trying to learn to cook for just me, or me and Marlin if he is here, and he IS here alot. I have enough space to have Nemi's toddler bed, toys for her.
0 comments
Life "should be" just freaking fantastic, but it isn't. I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar Disorder in 1995 and have been on anti-depressants ever since. Some days are better than others and some are much worse.
I have been in the best relationship of my life for over 6 years. He is caring, compassionate, warm, everything I never looked for in a man. I was not looking for Marlin, he found me. Interesting that he kept after me to chat on the computer and I never had time. On the one Saturday I had time, we spent 2 hours typing, 2 hours voice on computer and 8 hours on the phone. I guess you could say, the rest is history. He loved me when I was 300 pounds before surgery and still loves me at 175-180 that I am currently at. He was there every day at the hospital, some group meetings and there for me at home.
I decided to move out of his house that is shared with his 76 y/o mom, brother that is 1 year older than him and the brother's gf. I finally couldn't handle the darkness in the basement bedroom, knowing that the brother and his gf wanted me long gone form the house. That his mom does not want him involved with me, even after 6 years. Feeling that I did not have the right to go upstairs and use the kitchen, esp when I get corrected that I don't know how to cook. Even when I bought my own food and brought it upstairs to use the stove or oven. We supplied our own microwave, fridge and toaster oven so that I did not have to go upstairs unless it was absolutely necessary.
When I had wls in June, 05, I really did not expect her to do alot to help. She basically told me that she thought I would fail. I think she took a perverse pleasure in how sick I was for months until we found out I had an ulcer created by my bi-polar meds that we had changed to liquids. I can remember her trying to make a pumpkin pie with splenda that turned out horribly, she measured wrong. She serves mashed potatoes 3-5 times a week, cooks a pot roast to death. OK, she grew up in the depression but that does not mean you have to overcook everything you make. I gave up trying to NOT drink with meals, so that I could wash down the protien that she made. Things were just so dry that I had to drink.
NOW>>>>>>>
I have moved into my own little apartment. I have a little u-shaped kitchen, combo living/dining room, bedroom and bath. It seems small but it is just enough for me. I have my own space to decide what to cook, when to eat and how to make it. I am having alot of trouble coming up with ideas of what to make, judging how much to make so I don't end up with tons of leftovers that I have to eat for days, or freeze and then not eat. I am terrible about using up leftovers, if I can add something and change the flavor somewhat it is easier for me to use things up.
I am trying to learn to cook for just me, or me and Marlin if he is here, and he IS here alot. I have enough space to have Nemi's toddler bed, toys for her.
About Me
Minneapolis, MN
Location
28.8
BMI
Surgery
06/22/2005
Surgery Date
May 11, 2005
Member Since
