K_Lee37

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Last dr's apt--my 6 mo. check went great!  My iron is doing great, and I have lost 100% of my excess body weight.  They want me to focus on exercise and maintaining my weight. ( ha, this is a joke to me still... after a lifetime of not being able to do it)   It's that old thinking coming back that you'll be the only person the surgery doesn't work for.  I'm gonna wake up tomorrow and weigh 223 again!
I am where they want me to be:)  My weight fully clothed with jeans and shoes was 144, my scale says 140 in shorts and a tank no shoes, so i'd say it's pretty accurate.  My bp is down  112/67..yay!
I went shopping for our vegas trip this weekend and I about fell over in the dressing room when i tried on a pair of size 4 jeans and they fit..not too tight! Just right:) I musta checked that tag over and over!  Still so bizarre to see the pants hanging in the closet and realize that they actually fit me.
Hair loss is slowing down finally. I've been making sure to have nuts, avocado's and cheese.  If  I need to use oil..it's olive oil.  Still having dry skin and hair, but it seems to be getting better.  I use lotion every day which really helps.  I haven't had any food aversions or any dumping:))))  I have had a very nice pouch, she has been good to me, but I have been good to her too!  Very carefull!
Homeschooling is going great, my son is loving it and is up every morning dressed, ready and excited to go! Which is a nice change from the prior routine of fighting all morning...and crying about having to go to school.  It's nice to see him excited about learning again!  It has been so wonderful.
All is well here and I feel very thankful and blessed to be me:)

Lots of great news. I feel soooo much better! I actually have some energy now!  I've been buzy gardening like a crazy lady  and enjoying that sunshine!  I can hardly believe 6 months has flown by so fast. I never thought I'd be here and look the way I do. I was absolutely certain that I would be the one person who the surgery didn't work for!  Why would it...nothing else had!  But to my amazement I am looking like that girl I used to recognize a very, very, long time ago!
My labs came back and my iron level is now in the low end of the "normal" range! I still have some making up to do but what i'm doing is working! YAYYYY. I'm sure this is why I am feeling so well.  Right now I am dealing with a stall that seems to be never ending!  I have been stuck for over a month now..at the same weight.  My pants are looser...so I know I'm loosing inches, but it's just not showing up on that damn scale!  I wondering if i'm going to wake up in the morning and it's gonna say 223 again!  Still not believing 100% that i'm going to stay this way, but I will do whatever it takes! I didn't go through all of this to be unsucessful!  I am looking forward to what life has to bring me next and what new things I'm gonna be able to do!
I went swimming with my son and SIL for the first time-- I haven't been swimming with my 10 yr old..uh, ever, and I can't remember the last time I went swimming with my SIL.  It's been a very very long time!
I actually got into a tankini and walked past my hubby and in front of everybody without hiding under a towel..and not be horrified at how I looked. It was a nice feeling, and my son was absolutely thrilled that I swam with him.  That is a priceless thing..and I'm sure there are many more to come~
Monday is my post op apt. So I can't wait to see what their scale reads and how my new labs look.  Thinking she will tell me I will need to eat more but I just don't see how thats gonna be possible.  I'm having a hard time getting it all in as it is! 
School will start for my youngest next week and I'm very excited this year for him!  It's gonna be a great year for this family! 
Excited to see where I am gonna be 6 months from now!  WOW!
NOT ONE SINGLE REGRET!

I can't believe i'm almost 6 months out-  I am still having problems with the iron so I had my blood drawn again last week and am waiting the results.  Doc said if there is no improvement this time that he is putting in for the 5 week iron infusion.  I just am glad that we are at the point of doing something about it. I'm tired of feeling tired all the time!
Things are going really well--I am loving being back home, and being able to see my kids and do everything I need to do. Not working full time has helped alot with the exhaustion part--I can get through the day now without a nap!
I am still loosing and am wearing a size 6 jean and down from a xl/xxl to a sm!
Still adjusting in my head--
My scale says 140 now and it doen't seem real--though I think there might be something wrong with it because I went to my pcp and their scale said 150. I really don't care--according to their records i've lost 70 pounds.  We will see the "official" count when I go to UC Davis later this month for my 6 month check up!  I am enjoying being out in the sun, getting warm and doing gardening.  It's so much easier now!  Everything is easier now! Just bending down and tying my shoe!
At this point..I am happy where I am--If I don't loose another pound I'm okay and look a healthy weight for me. but something tells me I'm gonna loose more and that is okay too-I am just saying that either way---I have not one regret about having the surgery or my outcome! It has been a tough road, but every bit worth it! 
I am now off my cholesterol meds!!! No more CPAP machine!! BP is in the normal range instead of borderline high and my BMI is normal! It can't get any better than that!!

I just re-read my blog's and it has given me new inspiration to be a faithful blogger!  I can remember each of the moments from the past and it makes me realize how far i've come and how many things I have changed!!  Not just my outward appearance, but inside as well.
I was talking alot about balance, and getting my priorities in order...with that being said, I just finished up my last day of work last Friday after putting in a 6 wk notice.
 It is a great feeling #1 that I am fortunate and very lucky to be able to be home with my kids... and #2 it makes me realize how out of whack everything in my life was!  I had to slow down and realize...hey, I am a mother first and foremost!  I don't HAVE to work...what am I doing? why am I doing this? Is this working? The answer was No...No...No...I don't know why I'm doing this!
  Now that I am back home I am able to focus on my fluids and protein intake, I am wayyyy less stressed, my family is excited to have mom back, and the best part..I am not soooo exhausted and am able to play and be the mom I want to be for my kids.  I have energy and a purpose that drives me daily to do my motherly duties well and to the best of my ability.  I have been the working mom, the stay at home mom and then the working mom again.  Returning to work 2 yrs ago...I thought I was missing out on something "the career", that I needed to "pitch in" financially.  But guess what!! I couldn't have been more wrong! 
Everything was fine at first...then soon my family life began to spiral downward and fast!
I don't want to forget that I made the choice to choose my family over my job.  When I am second guessing my decision..I want to look back and read this and be able to say with certainty that this was the best decision I could have made and that It is making a huge difference not only in my life, but in my family's life as well!  No amount of money is worth it, no job is worth it....if the cost is at the expense of your husband and children! They are the one's who were paying the ultimate price for not having a wife or mother home to hold everything together!  I loved my job, but I love my family more!  Now that I've had both sides of the fence , I realize the grass isn't always greener on the other side.  The grass is greenest right where I am...home!  I don't think I've seen my youngest son so excited just at the idea that mom was coming back home and wasn't going to be working full time anymore!   The joy his little smiling face brings me is more than any dollar amount I could ever earn!  They grow up so fast, before I know it he will be gone.
I am thanking God today for getting me though the surgery safely and that I am a healthier person and this time it's for good!!! I am also thanking Him for getting me through these past few months and through some major decisions I've had to make about my life and family:)
My hat goes off to all the women who are mom's and work full time outside the home! God bless each and every one of you! 

I can hardly believe my own eyes. I just know it can't be correct...lemme check the tag again, and again and again! Size 8?? That can't be right!  I haven't seen this size since 1989...seriously!
Yes, they are size 8's and are loose! Too chicken to try on the 6's:)
I remember thinking I would never get this size, that I would be the one person that the surgery wouldn't work for...since I've tried everything else, why would this work for me when nothing else has~
The surgery is a success, but I need to take credit too...I am a success!  It is hard to take the compliments...still feeling embarassed about my body because I still think of myself as the fat Kari!  It is hard to break old habbits and to stop that kind of thinking! 
I am making myself look in that mirror and acknowledging the huge accomplishment!  I am putting on my old fat pants and realizing how truly big I was..WAS!
So now, I say "thank you" and give a big smile....
Size 8's...wow

I have been so bad about blogging and coming on the OH site!  Work has been crazy and I'm still having issues with my iron which means I am exhausted all the time! When I get home... I'm DONE!
Sine my last post alot has happened.  I am now down from 223 to 148-150 pounds.  From busting out of a 18, to a loose size 10 and should probably try an 8 but to chicken.  I still can't believe it, and when I look in the mirror I still see the fat girl, so i'm hoping my brain and eyes will make the connection!  The iron issue is driving me crazy.  August will be my iron check and also be my 6 month mark! I can't even believe how fast the time has gone by! I never thought I would get here:))
I have no regrets and am happy with the decision I made to have the surgery.  I just took a trip down memory lane with my post op pics to now...and I still cannot believe how fat I let myself get, or that I let it be "ok."..for such a lonnnggg time!  I think you just stop caring when you get to a certain point, and that's what I did..I just didn't care and was ready to surrender to the fact that I was just going to be fat forever!
My personal goal would be to reach 130-135 pounds. The doctor has me at 140-145pounds.  I'm wondering where my body is going to settle in, and where I'll end up!  Here's to reaching my goal!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Time is flying by so fast!  My official weight today May 29th is 160 pounds and I'm in a 10/12 depending on the name.  It feels weird, and I am having a hard time realizing that it's me I am actually seeing in the mirror!
Still having iron issues.  I will be tested again in Aug. and then they will make the decision to have the iron infusion!  I am so ready for it:) I am tired of feeling wiped out all the time!
My latest new thing to report it hair loss.....ughhhh!  I was prepared for this, but it still is hard to see when your hair is clogging the shower drain on a daily basis!  Hoping it will subside sooner rather than later!
Kids will be out of school next week! I can hardly believe it! Where did this year go?
I'm not sure of what hubby makes of all the changes,because as you all know that..it's a mental change as well. I am sure I am different than I was before the surgery and he's just not knowing what to do about that!  Alot of our activities revolved around food---and now they don't! I think he feels guilty if he orders food in front of me..or wants to eat something that he knows I can't have!  On a good note...he's lost weight too! So it's a win win as far as I can tell!
I need to take some new pictures this weekend...I got a bit behind!
Not one regret
Kari 

Feeling overwhelmed at everything in my life right now. It's funny how your body is doing one thing, and your brain is saying something else! I just don't see what my husband is seeing! "oh your looking so skinny" "skinny minnie" 
I still see the fat girl!  I still feel like the fat girl!  As far as my brain says...I AM the fat girl!  These are all things I have to work on:)
I am feeling very tired because of the iron issue, but am doing better than I was 2 weeks ago. I am frustrated with my energy level...and that my husband doesn't understand it.  He just doesn't get that after working a nine hour day...with a low cal intake and low iron...that by the time I get home at 6pm, I am DONE!  I can barely make it through the day, let alone be the sexy lady for him after the kids go to bed! URGGGG!   I feel like I am always playing catch up on my sleep.., and when I do get the chance to take a little nap, I feel guilty because he wants to spend time with me!
All of these things will improve...I KNOW that...but it the mean time it's frustrating and beyond!  Life is about balance...and right now I need to get some! 
I am really feeling as though I need to re-do my priority list...and it's hard to do!  Most of us who are overweight become that way because we put ourselves last!  Or we don't put ourselves on the list at all! 
Re-adjusting, and re-alligning your life to make this a new healthy you is another thing on the list to do that they don't really go over in the classes you take!  I don't think my husband expected this either!  I know he's thinking....omg...you've lost a bunch of weight..you should be sooo happy, isn't that why you had the surgery...whats wrong with you..."
But, the truth is, finding the reasons why you got where you were at in the first place is often painful and difficult to face!  Eating is what I used to make me feel good...and now, I am having to learn a new way of coping!  Did I mention that this isn't necessarily easy!  I'll let you know what ends up working for me, but as of right now...I haven't found it!
I certainly could not have predicted how much of an emotional roller coaster this would be after the surgery!  I know part is hormonal, and that my body is going through a major change:) and the other is psychological! 
LORD help my husband!

My BMI has gone from 38.6 to 29.1 !!! WOW We WOW!  When you look at it this way, I don't have that far to go!!  So crazzzzy!
38.6 WTH? Don't know how I let it get that out of control!   I forgot to add this little tid bit in my last post, so I had to do a seperate one! Sorry guys..

Okay, I went to go get just a couple of shirts for work and I grabbed a pair of 14 pants just for fun, and they freakin' fit! They were even baggy in the legs and butt!  I have a pair of 14's at home that I can wear, but I thought somehow it couldn't be possible and they MUST be mis labeled!  So nice to know it's REALLY true. I REALLY AM in a size 14!  I can't even tell you when the last time that was! I'm giddy as a school girl now and can't wait to go down to the next pant size! Then maybe I'll buy a few new articles of clothing...probably from the thrift store since I know it won't fit me for long!
WooHooooooooooo Size 14AND, I bought a few new bra's. I'm down from a 38D to a 36D! Hellooo! Although I have to say, not as full as I was before...the boobs are always the first to go:((
That's ok...I'll just buy me some new ones when I get to my "normal" weight!