Annie Q.
I was introduced to bariatric surgery in what I feel to be the most odd way. I've struggled with my weight my whole life, and more or less resigned myself to being the "fat girl"....I am cute, happy with who I am as a person, and figured it was time to accept it. I figured I would just spend my life on one fad diet to another, gaining and losing forever. Surgery wasn't an idea or a possibility for me.
A few months ago, I went to see a plastic surgeon about getting a common procedure done that I felt would help my self esteem. I was encouraged about the ability to have this surgery that I have felt necessary since childhood, and went through the process of meeting the doctor and discussing my needs. I have to admit, I was a little pissed to pay my money, only to be told I was too fat for the process (okay, so that wasn't the doctor's EXACT words, but hell, close enough), and he suggested that look into bariatric surgery. "What surgery?", I thought. I left the doctor's office with a referral for a bariatric surgeon and the feeling that the highly recommended plastic surgeon was just about off his rocker. But, they guy got me thinking, and after extensive conversation with my husband, I started to research the surgery's and attended an information session. I was very hesitant to do surgery to solve my problem, as I felt it was a cop out for my lack of self control. But, after sitting through the information session, I realized that my fear was everyone else's in the meeting room, and that this could very potentially be the best thing that every happened to me (second to my spectacular husband, of course!). I had another long discussion with my husband, and decided to proceed with the process of getting approved for the Lap Band surgery.
My insurance is BC/BS of CA, and they require the following: a BMI of 50 or less, a letter of medical necessity from my primary care physician, a psychological evaluation, and a visit with the nutritionist. It's been an interesting ride. I am sitting right at a BMI of 50, so I have a few lbs to lose, but I've finished with the rest of the steps...here's what I've learned so far:
- My doctor is supportive, but slightly hesitant as he has seen success and failure.
- I appreciate his concerns and respect his opinions. I will make him proud.
- I thought for sure the psychologist wasn't going to release me right away for surgery. I was wrong...my letter says I'm normal and have above average IQ (that I knew). But apparently, I'm not as crazy as I thought I was. =)
- The nutritionist was helpful and educated me more on the lap band surgery. Nothing that I didn't already know, but things that were more in depth...it was a good education.
- The nutritionist was nice and sensitive to my needs as she sees lots of bariatric patients, but the cigarette stains on otherwise perfectly white teeth took away some of her credibility...how am I supposed to take health advice from someone who clearly doesn't listen to her own? However, her perfect body added some of that credibility back.
- I'm too damn fat. Not like I didn't know that, but it's like I have finally admitted it to myself. Boy am I glad I'm doing something about it.
- I'm not the least bit nervous or concerned about being approved through insurance. I probably should be, but I feel as though that's the last of my worries. I hope I don't get disappointed. =(
- My husband is spectacular and took money out of his retirement fund to pay for the surgery. I fell in love with him all over again that day.
- Men lose weight too easy. It's frustrating.
Okay, now that I'm done with my rambling, I think that my "ah, ha" moment will be appreciated by many of you...while it's somewhat embarrassing, it's still funny and important all the same.
My husband and I had decided to go to Islands of Adventure with a couple of our friends a few months ago, and the husband of the other couple and I decided we wanted to ride Dueling Dragons. I have riden this ride a million times, but it's been a couple years, so I wanted to get my fill again. We waited forever to get on the front of the Fire coaster, and were jumped in front of a group of people since we were a party of two. We sat down in the chairs (slightly tighter than before, but still pretty comfortable) and I pulled down on the lap bar....and then I pulled down on the lap bar again. And again. And again. And then I tried to squish my chest a little, because my endowment was getting in the way of the harness buckling....just shy, but still, just not happening. I shifted, I shimmied, I pushed and squeezed and did some things to my upper anatomy that I thought were impossible...and it still just wasn't happening. The ride was being held for me, and I finally had to be pulled off and wait for the next car, to get in the "larger" seat. The group we passed on the way to the rides, asked me what went wrong....I was embarrassed to tell them. Thankfully, "my breasts are too big" isn't the worst reason to have to get in another seat, but in my mind, the reason my breasts were too big was. The moral of the story: I look forward to the day I can easily fit into the Dueling Dragons ride again.
So, thus begins my journey...whereever it may take me. Hopefully soon I'll be updating this with a surgery date and a new lease on life!
