Julie W.
SUMMARY: I am 32 years old and have struggled with my weight my entire life. I have tried everything from medical weight loss, weight watchers, doctor supervised, EXERCISE EXERCISE (which I actually do enjoy), psychotherapy, hypnosis, even got close to being anorexic at one point in college. I have been struggling with this decision to have this operation for several years. When I first heard about the surgery I kept telling myself that I am not "One of those People", after denying it for years yo-yoing my self to death. I have decided it is time to start living my life and actually enjoying it. Something I haven't REALLY done since 3rd grade. To make it to my goal I have to lose 167 pounds...WOW! I believe this surgery will finally get me to break the glass ceiling that I ALWAYS hit after 4 -6 months of rigorous weight control...I know you know where the story goes from there. I am ready to SURRENDER to this old life and start enjoying what God has blessed me with.
PERSONAL: I have been happily married for 8 years to my wonderful husband John. Together we have 2 great kids, Sarah 5 and Andrew 3. My husband and I met while working for the airlines in college. He has seen me much thinner, but I ALWAYS been at least 100 pounds overweight since we have been together. I am VERY blessed that I carry my weight VERY well. Most people don't believe me when I tell them I weigh 320 pounds (something I have never shared with ANYONE until now, as my reasoning when they try to talk me out of having this surgery). As ironic as life is I work as a gym and computer teacher...go figure! I cannot WAIT until I start looking forward to ENJOYING my gym classes again instead of dreading them. When my weight has been lower, I have always loved gym, but now my chronic foot pain is soooo overwhelming! I just can't wait to have this surgery, I know it is going to change my life in so many POSITIVE ways.
1/23/02 Pre-Surgery Weight- 312
2/7/02 First post-op Visit 289 (-24 pounds)
9/22/01
I meet with Dr. Marymor on Sept. 20th for my initial consultation...second one, I backed out last year and have been researching since....Insurance coverage looks good. Hoping to lose 150lbs..I am excited about finding this website it has been very helpful.
9/30/01
Been to hell and back with my psych eval....AVOID DR. MARIAN KARL in Ann Arbor, Michigan AT ALL COSTS....she claims to be openminded about weight loss surgery but then during consult she told me among MANY OTHER things that my weight problem was all of my mothers fault, that she EMOTIONALLY abused me and created my weight problem. She further stated that having the surgery would allow my mother to PHYSICALLY ABUSE me by letting my "guts to be ripped out by this surgery..." UNBELIEVEABLE...She has SERIOUS issues of her own and has no business being in the business.
10/18/01
After nearly 3 weeks of trying to track down Dr. Karl for my psych eval, I got desperate and started contacting other doctors in her office building. YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THE VOICE MAIL I GOT FROM HER TODAY!!! "this is Dr. Karl, I apologize for not getting in touch with you sooner, but I am embarassed to say that I was picked up by the police for racing?(aparently a term used to describe her mental disorder that she goes on to describe in the 7 minute message)...anyway I was at U of M psych center and I am now at St. Josephs in Ann Arbor. If you would still like me to write your evaluation (CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?) I will be happy to send it out and block the fax number so that they don't know where the fax is coming from".......it goes on and on and on from there....I feel so RELIEVED and so ANGRY that this woman misdiagnosed me. She has made my life a virtual hell for the past 3 weeks as I have been analyzing and reanalyzing every relationship based on her diagnosis that I was emotionally abused. ABSOLUTELY UNBELIEVABLE!
11/18/01
Finally met a normal psychologist and had eval done. Everything is looking good and paperwork has FINALLY been submitted....almost to the end of the waiting game!
ADVICE TO THE WISE: GET SOMEONE TO REFER YOU TO A GOOD PSYCHOLOGIST FOR YOUR EVALUATION...going out on your own is very risky and EXPENSIVE...if you have to wait awhile for the RIGHT psychologist it is a much better choice than going to see someone sooner that has no EXPERIENCE or RECCOMENDATIONS from those considering the surgery.
11/20/01
FINALLY!!!! I HAVE BEEN APPROVED AND SCHEDULED!! It feels like a 100 bricks have been lifted from my shoulders...I was so worried that I would go through all of this only to find out that my insurance would turn me down...I was REALLY afraid for myself...I could only picture stepping into a much deeper depression than I have been in if I would have been denied. I AM SO GRATEFUL TO HAVE THIS APPROVAL AND SURGERY SCHEDULED...The big day is January 14th...Kind of a red letter day for me..both of my children were originally due on January 14th..one came a week early and the other came a week late...funny how that day keeps coming up as a BIG DAY..
12/8/01- One month from today I will have my pre-op out of the way and looking down the nose to my ACTUAL surgery...I am very happy that my surgery will be right after the holidays...the time between now and my surgery will pass very quickly with all of the holiday hoopla. I am glad its not going to be right before Christams like I orignally wanted. I would hate to be a burden on my family or take away from the festivities, especially with 2 preschoolers of my own. This Christmas will be memomrable for SOOO many reasons. I broke down and told my inlaws the day before Thanksgiving. I was pretty sure that they would be unsupportive, and considered not telling them at all or at least not until the week before. My family and parents are so supportive, I was afraid that my suregy might come out over the holidays in conversation with someone else and THAT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN RIGHT. SO I fessed up...I know this is not something they support but they ARE TRYING to be supportive. I just know when they see the results they will finally understand and will feel reassured with my decision. I look at this surgery as a major improvement in my life and the life of our family. I will finally have the energy and stamina to chase my kids endlessly during the day, play tennis with my husband at night...I just can't wait!! Right now I work as a teacher and my FEET HURT ALL DAY LONG..when I go to sleep they throb so much it is VERY difficult to go to sleep...I can't wait to start FEELING BETTER!!!
12-22-01
Kinda bummed, kinda glad...surgery date was rescheduled due to a conflict with the surgeons schedule. I will now have surgery on January 23, 2002 instead of January 14th. In a way this will be good because I will have 3 crucial weeks to really get focused at the gym before surgery. I will also be in good shape for BOTH of my childrens birthdays Jan 7 and 22nd. Although it REALLY messed up my work schedule and babysitting schedule, I still believe everything happens for a reason....MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
12-31-01
Boy am I ever glad to RINGING out this year! I am in the final countdown to my surgery 24 days to go! One week from today is my pre-op..I finally got my butt to the gym this week..oh the humiliation of it all. Looking at the FIT trainers giving me the once over and doing their mental check..."Yup, shes back again...just like every year...right after Christmas...and of course she has gained back the 40 some pounds she lost last Spring..." I can't wait to proudly walk through those doors after my surgery and FINALLY keep on going...past the Easter break...my usual crumbling point...Keep me in your prayers. May we all look forward to the HAPPIEST NEW YEAR EVER!
1-4-02
What a blessing! I just found out that one of my friends just got approved to have this surgery done...we will both be at BTC within 2 weeks of each other! This will be such a wonderful support for both of us! Monday is my pre-op...I am getting pretty excited, less than 3 weeks to go!
1/10/02
HUGE NEWS!
My surgery got bumped up to January 14th! My original date! YIPPIIIEEE! I am very blessed because all of my coworkers and family are made of elastic and have bent over backwards to make this new date work...THANKS ALL...and to all of the well wishers who have stopped by my page!
1/14/02
One thing is certainly for sure..I will never complain of having a dull life...Picture this....lying on the table in pre-op, minutes from going down to surgery..IV is in, and the nurse is just about to give me the first dose of my "knock out drops". Dr. Marymor bursts into the room and is obviously annoyed that something is wrong...Turns out that my lab work wasn't completed when they rescheduled my surgery last Thursday. On Friday they called to say my thyroid was elevated and to call, but by the time I got home it was after the clinic closed. I didn't think much about it though...thinking they would just rewrite my scrip on Monday...UNFORTUNATELY my thyroid was way elevated to a 15.8. Dr. Marymor said it was to risky to do the surgery until my thyroid readjusted...if all goes well they will recheck my thyroid on Friday and my surgery will be rescheduled for my old date of January 23rd....ARGHHHH! Dr. Marymor was really upset with this mess and apologized sincerely...Hey, whats meant to be is meant to be...and obviously next week was REALLY my week!
1-22-02
Okay were down to the wire now...in less than 12 hours I will be under the knife and on my way to a new life! YIPPIEE!! My thyroid came back fine and Dr. Marymor decided to go ahead with 7:30am tomorrow!! I would go to bed...but I am STARVING...sad but true...my stomach has been growling since 4pm... Well at least my surgery time is MUCH earlier than last time...I didn't get into the pre-op room until after 2pm last time...I was ready to eat the bedrails.
Thanks so much to ALL OF YOU that have left me KIND WORDS and messages of support and prayer...it means so much to have someone in your corner...especially someone who REALLY knows what you are going through.
1-29-02
Hi Everyone!
I am finally talking to you from the OTHER SIDE!! It is so AWESOME to finally be here!!! My surgery was last Wednesday and it went perfectly. I was up and moving as promised, 5 hours after surgery. I must say that the worst day is the third day..the anesthesia and your morphine button are no longer with you and its just you and the Vicodin (which isn't saying much!) Let's just say the experience becomes full circle on day 3! I am on day 6 now and feeling MUCH better...still significant discomfort and pain at times but becoming more manageable. I plan to return to work on Feb 10th. Thanks so much to all of you for looking in on me, calling, visiting or dropping an email to me this past week. Your support has meant so much to me.
The staff at BTC are REALLY WONDERFUL. I had heard this of course, but seeing is believing! The staff is dedicated, compassionate and HARD WORKING! WAY TO GO! Tommorrow I start full liquid diet...YEAH..Although being on the clear liquid diet hasn't been all that bad.
2-2-02
11 Days Post-op! Down 18 glorious pounds...but it doesn't feel like it yet, because of the incision and swelling...
I am REALLY struggling with the food!! I am supposed to be on full liquids for another 10 disgusting days!! I can't do it!! Why can some post ops go to soft food within days and others have to wait a month? Is it a surgeon being cautious? Is there really any risk in eating a boiled egg that is chewed EXTREMELY well..It just seems that I would be able to reach my protein goals much easier on some REAL food...this powder is for the dogs!
2-9-02
I went to my first post op appointment on Thursday. Everything went great with the exception of having a neuroma (fluid sac under the incision) Dr. Marymor drained it. I was amazed at how much fluid that I still had in there...I have been draining like crazy the past 5 days, at one point it got so bad I taped a dish towel (clean of course!) to my stomach! I have lost 10% of my total expected weight loss or 18 pounds...I actually was down more, but my period was nearing and I was retaining water...GRRR! I am feeling MUCH better....very little pain, sleeping on my side again, eating is also going great. I plan to resume my job on Tuesday the 12th...I hope I am ready.
2-12-02
Had to go back to BTC today because of drainage problems AGAIN. I can't say enough how wonderful Dr. Marymor is though! He really makes you feel comfortable and reassured, his bedside manner is absolutely fabulous. He put a ribbon in my incision to assist with the draining. I will take it out tommorrpw..hopefully all of this drainage nonsense will end soon:). I was down another 4 pounds today 28 altogether! not too bad for under 3 weeks post op:)
2-15-02
Well I think the drainage problem is finally under control...down to a dribble from the original flood:) The scale has finally started moving down again..I have been stuck at 283 for a week and it was getting VERY annoying...hopefully this will do the trick...I am still REALLY struggling to get my protein in...IT'S TOUGH!
2-19-02
The scale finally budged! I am down to 279! Yeah! Yesterday was my first FULL day without a nap and working my entire school day. What a difference a week makes! Last week I was SOOO wiped out from work..I took 3.5 hour naps as soon as I got home. Yesterday I started back to the gym too! I REALLY felt the workout in my thighs...which is odd...I NEVER feel my workouts in my legs, but I guess sitting on your butt for a month will do that. I guess the ENERGY truck has FINALLY arrived...Praise GOD! I am still draining...but the hole seems to be getting smaller:) Maybe it will close up by the end of the week:)
2-23-02
What a difference a MONTH makes:) It seems so long since I had surgery! I am down nearly 35 pounds. I am back to the gym doing 35 minutes of cardio..haven't got to the weights yet...maybe another week! Still leaking GRRR! But other than that LIFE IS GOOD!
3-8-02
Back from the living dead! I was just released from U oF M Ann Arbor yesterday after going into a blood infection that resulted from my incision that STILL had not healed. I must WARN ANYONE that has any doubts about whether their incision is infected...take your doubts to the EMERGENCY ROOM! I woke up last Saturday with a vicious temperature, blacking out, and horrible body aches...being 5 weeks post op I called BTC as instructed. The on call surgeon, (DR. MARYMOR WAS NOT AVAILABLE) told me to come in and he would have a look...WHAT A JOKE! He barely looked at my incision...no probing (it still leaking horribly) and remarked it was the flu..even though my conditioned worsened considerably during my stay of roughly 4 hours he sent me home with the flu as his diagnosis. By the time I got home I was completely delirious and my fever was 104.3, accompanied with diareha and wretching. Luckily, my family had the common sense to take me to the Emergency room within 12 hours I was admitted into the ICU with Sepsis basically the bacteria in my incision had traveled into my bloodstream. I battled for 48 hours to get my blood pressure above 64/34... it was VERY SCARY! I can't believe how lucky I was! If I would have listened to the surgeon I would probably be dead right now! The Doctors said if I hadn't went to the ER when I did I probably would have died in 12 HOURS!! I know that God was with me! I can't even begin to thank the DOZENS of members who have emailed me with prayers and support for me and my family. I KNOW YOUR PRAYERS HAVE EVERYTHING TO DO WITH ME BEING HERE RIGHT NOW!
3/20/02
Well I am 2 weeks beyond my horrible sepsis episode and feeling MUCH better! I still am amazed at how drained and REALLY tired I am. My incision is STILL leaking at 8 weeks post op..but I think the end is FINALLY near. The incision has been slowly closing over the past 2 weeks and I have been packing it everyday since I left U of M. Overall things are going good. I am down 45 pounds now. I go back to BTC for my checkup on April 5th.
3/24/02
Well I am finally LEAK FREE! Exactly 2 months from my surgery date the hole FINALLY closed! YEAH! I am officially 2 months post op with a weight loss of 48 pounds...not too shabby!
4/3/02
Saw both my Internal Med Doctor and Dr. Marymor this week. Finally have the green light to go back to the gym! YEAH! I know this move will finally put my weight loss into high gear. I am down 52 pounds or 26% total weight loss. BTC looks for a 20-25% weight loss at your 3 month check up...I have passed that with 3 weeks to spare. I am pretty excited about that, especially when I haven't been able to get to the gym. I go back to BTC in 6 weeks. I was really disappointed to hear that Dr. Marymor is leaving the Ypsilanti BTC in August:( He said he is going back to Philadelphia to work at the new BTC they are building there. Good for him...bad for Ypsi!
4/20/02
I am stuck in Plateauville and its very ANOYING! I have been holding steady at 257 for a few weeks now...I guess that should be expected considering how fast the 3 month weight came off. My energy level is back to 100% and then some...I FEEL SOOO GOOD! My incision has FINALLY healed! My incredible foot pain has nearly left me, which is WONDERFUL and I am back to the gym and I feel GREAT! Can you really ask for anything more!
4/23/02
3 month mark! It seems like eons ago since surgery. My life is sooo different! I have so much energy now! I can't even begin to imagine what life will be like when I am down 100 or more pounds.
I have lost 56 pounds. I have been stuck in plateauville for 3 weeks...its SOOO annoying...but temporary!
5/10/02
Well the weight loss has certainly slowed down considerably. I am losing about 2 - 3 pounds a week....but at least its consistant:) I got a new outfit, a size 22 for mothers day...but it is too big:) I am going to exchange it for a 20...Thats pretty darn exciting:) I see Dr. Marymor this week.
5/23/02
4 months have passed....I am down a little over 60 pounds...the weight has really SLOWED down...but I guess I shouldn't complain, I am still losing around 10 pounds a month...I think it will come off easier this summer. I think I eat more often than I need to because of my teaching schedule...I am not hungry enough to eat a whole meal sometimes, but I feel like I have to because it lunch time...GRR...well school is done in 2 weeks:) I am wearing between a size 20 - 22...I would like to be a 16 or smaller when school starts up in the fall...I can only wish.
6/23/02
5 months have passed and I am really beginning to enjoy my ever changing body...I have finally surrendered to the power of food..one of the hardest things I have had to deal with is choosing meals at a restaraunt....still wanting to order a big meal (and often doing so) only to sit there and stare at it. My husband and I have pretty much started splitting our meals at restraunts....but it was hard for me to give that up...yet it made NO sense to keep wasting MONEY and LOTS of FOOD. I am slowly becoming more confident, I am starting to see myself as a more NORMAL looking person...now that I am wearing a size 20..I feel like I fall into a new category of "Yeah she could stand to lose some weight...but shes not like that other lady over there!" Obviously, people are starting to notice and asking me about it.....and I am not shy about sharing the details of my surgery I almost always get a horror story from someone they knew that had the surgery...some things never change. I am excited to be down 75 pounds...hoping to be at 90 when school starts up again at the end of August.
7/4/02
Hit the 80 pound mark today! Very Exciting...were getting into pre-husband weight now...almost like NEW TERRITORY...considering we have been together 10 years! Hoping to hit the big 100 by my birthday September 17th. I am finding this eating thing A LOT easier in the summer, without having my eating tied to a lunch and dinner schedule...I have found myself finally eating A LOT LESS and getting in tons of EXERCISE...HAPPY 4TH OF JULY~
7/23/02
Weight loss is starting to slow down..but I feel great and I am not discouraged...school starts back up in less than a month:( Down 82 pounds...looking forward to buying some new clothes this fall..currently wearing 18/20 :)
8/23/02
Trying to survive plateauville...GRRR! My weight loss has been stagnat almost all summer. I started teaching again this week and will finally be able to resume my school eating schedule as well as getting to the gym MORE...I expect to start losing again soon...till then.
9/23/02
I am getting so discouraged!! I have been in plateauville for way tooo long! I was hoping to be at the gym by now, but my schedule has been VERY CRAZY...I will be at the gym no later than October 1st...just have to get through this next HECTIC week. I am also sad to say that I have an extremely HIGH sugar tolerance...THIS IS SUCH A BAD THING!!! I am really battling it! Keep me in your prayers...this has been a depressing time for me...and I have had to up my Zoloft just to get by this past month. Hope to bring BETTER news come October! TILL THEN!
10/23/02
9 months have passed and I REALLY feel good...still have 50-60 pounds to go until I reach MY goal a little more realistic than the goal at BTC....I would like to be down to about 165-170...never been close, so I have no idea what it like. I have been getting tons of compliments the past 2 weeks...It has taken over 3 months to drop 20 pounds...so I can't quite figure out what looks so different...LOL..maybe my weight is shifting...or thank GOD Short season is over...must be something along those lines. I have decreased my anti-depressant by 1/2 and feel pretty normal...still struggling to get to the gym, but when I have I crack up everytime because I ALWAYS hold down the up arrow key way to long...being used to punching it up to 315 pounds and then I have to push the down arrow key 7 or 8 times to get my new weight on the screen...for some reason the numbers seem so much more impressive on the crosstrainer screen than the digital screen on my scale at home...Go FIGURE! Life is good...batting down the hatches for the upcoming holidays...I AM DREADING THEM...just because of the tempations...but I am excited to see so many people I have NOT seen since last Christmas...nearly 100 pounds ago...WOW
11-23-02
Well...I am once again in PLATEUVILLE...kinda been hovering in the 220's for the past 3 months....REALLY trying hard to keep my spirits up...I CANNOT wait to get through the Holiday Food and Running Around...this has always been a difficult time of the year for me...because of my food issues...On a more positive note, Jan-March have ALWAYS been awesome months for me to focus on my weight and eating...I KNOW it will be better then. I FINALLY started going back to the gym, just this past week, but I did go 3 days in a row...and I feel confident I will stick with it...I feel GREAT in just three days...so much extra energy. We are in the middle of ripping the roof off of the house and I spent 8 hours this weekend putting old shingles into trash cans, dragging them to the dumpster and then lifting them up to dump them...I KNOW THIS WOULD HAVE NEVER HAPPENED LAST YEAR. I felt so good...and was hardly tired...but I am a little sore...LOL... Till next month:)
12/24/02
It's amazing...11 months ago...last year I was pigging out on everything!! Thinking this is the last year I will ever be able to eat...WHAT A LAUGH! Food is still a struggle...I like and have always liked sweets and I am still battling them...but I humor myself by reminding myself I cannot manage near the damage I once could...now I can eat a lot less and pretty much what a NORMAL person eats.....I feel great. I am ringing out this year with SURGERY...GRRRR...I am having a cantelope sized cyst removed from my left ovary on 12/30/02...I would like ALL OF MY HOSPITAL STAYS to be in the 2002 CALENDAR YEAR! I figure my cyst oughta be good for a couple pounds...LOL... Hoping to OFFICALLY hit the 100 pound mark on 1/23/02...my one year mark...Keep me in your prayers. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
2/8/03
FINALLY back at the gym! Didn't make my 100 pound goal:( Hope to hit it by the March 23...we can only hope...Trying to stay positive..but it REALLY hard sometimes.
4/23/03
I have come to terms with my weight loss...it has been EXTREMELY frustrating being stuck at 91 pounds for six months with about 50 to go. I am still going to the gym on a regular basis...I joined curves back in February and really like it...I have lost 2% body fat since I joined and 8 inches....I feel very healthy but also frustrated...I know that each of these last 50 pounds are going to fight me, BUT I am fighting back... till later:)
1-23-07
At least I have the guts to write this...its not encouraging for a lot of people... I learned to eat my way through the benefits of the surgery...albeit slowly!! I began to steadily pack on pounds from January 2003...I watched two friends (whom I met through this site) divorce their husbands, give up their kids and ultimately REINVENT themselves...IT TERRIFIED ME!! I was already struggling with my plateau and then it seemed that everyone who I could truly relate to had reached their goals and made drastic changes in their life...I think it was the beginning of my demise. I was also eager to buy into the theory that I was the 10% or so that this surgery would not work on....regardless, within in a year from my anniversary I dove back to my old habits, terrified of starting a new job (my school closed and I got transfered to a new building, not being able to relate to my friends who SUCCEEDED with weight loss and the true ugliness of buying into the fact that I had failed yet again. In November my doctor (who has been with me before and after the surgery) was concerned that my weight was up to 272 pounds...rightly so. She said I needed to lose at least 25 pounds (I love her ability to be reasonable). But true luck I got sick most of December and had NO APPETITE...this was AWESOME...my sugar intolerance came back big time!! GOOD...so this turned out to be a BIG kick in the pants, LITERALLY!! I have dropped steadily since November...I go back to the doc at the end of February and can't wait to show her that I am down 25+ pounds..I am hoping for 35...which is within reason! The best news is that my 4th grade daughter (who has also started packing on the weight) has decided to start exercising with me. We are walking EVERYDAY about 3-4 miles and I am getting to REALLY have time for her!! This is GREAT!! We have decided to just adopt a healthy attitude...NOT A DIET...instead of choosing 2 tacos...just one, or a SMALL peice of cake, not a big one...its baby steps, but its working!! Thanks for listening!
Weight Loss Journal
Surgery Date 1/23/02 312
1 month mark 2/23/02 284 (29 pound total)
2 month mark 3/23/02 264 (45 pounds total)
3 month mark 4/23/02 256 (56 pounds total)
4 month mark 5/23/02 249 (63 pounds total)
5 month mark 6/23/02 238 (74 pounds total)
6 month mark 7/23/02 230 (82 pounds total)
7 month mark 8/23/02 228 (84 pounds total)
8 month mark 9/23/02 226 (86 pounds total)
9 month mark 10/23/02 222 (91 pounds total)
10 month mark 11/23/02 224 (91 Pounds total)
11 month mark 12/23/02 222 (91 Pounds total)
1 YEAR TOTAL 1/23/03 222 (91 Pounds total)
15 month mark 4/23/03 222 (91 pounds total..but losing inches)
5 Year anniversary 1/23/07 247 (down from 272...sad but true)