joei681
I love to read. I am a very big Zane, & Eric Jerome Dickey Fan.
The one thing that made me think very hard on what kind of image I was showing my daughter was when she said "Mami I wish you were little like me so that we can get on the slides together" Oouch that really hurted so here I go. I have decided to get my mind, body and spirit right and have decided to get Gastric Bypass. I had gone to a previous consultation but never did anything due to a change in insurance.
@ 290 You have a BMI of 49.7.
This indicates that you are Extremely Obese.
Reality Sinks In
10/24/05 - Cardio Dr. Rubenstein - Isaac Came with me to my consult- the doctor had given me an EKG and then referred me to come back for some more test. Went back to St. Michael's' I got a simulated stress test - whew - that almost made me pee in my pants - they lay you on a stretcher - hook up a mini "MRI" to scan your heart - hook you up to an EKG machine, shoot you with this medicine that makes your heart race- as if you were on a treadmill. Your chest starts to feel so tight - you can heart your heart pounding and then your head starts to pound - a cardiologist is standing right there next to you to make sure you don't have a heart attack - after that I go and get an ultrasound of my heart and then back to the mini "MRI". What a day I needed to go and lay down -had a headache for 2 days after this.
10/31/05 - Ultrasound of my gallbladder - very quick in and out - come back later in day to see pulmonary.
10/31/05 - Dr. Miller - Pulmonary Dr. Very nice - tells me my blood pressure is a bit high (I was nervous) shows me the "Sleep Center" makes me an appointment.
11/11/05 - Physical Rehab - Maria Elena - very nice give me an assessment - shows me simple exercises that I can do to strengthen my self after surgery - clears me says will fax over clearance to Dr. G's office.
11/20/05 - Tomorrow I have 3 appointments
1. 11:30 am - Gastro- Dr. DePasquale
2. 3 pm - Psych - Dr. Galea
3. 7:30 pm "Sleep Center"
11/21/05 - ok I did my sleep apnea test and the tech came in twice because my oxygen levels were very low- woke up with a headache - saw the psycho err the Dr and she cleared me after one visit. Also saw the endocrine Dr had blood drawn stated would forward results and clearance letter some time next week - feeling a bit happy My husband is hopefully (I am praying and knocking on wood as we speak err write starting a new job in Jan 06 stressing it because new job insurance will only cover him not me and my lil Ms. Nana (my 5 yr old diva) stressing about cobra premium and not having a date
11/22/05 saw the endo - took blood advised will get results and clearance within a week ooh I lost 3 lbs
11/28/05 saw nutritionist states I need to see her 2 more time I have to email her a daily food journal - now you know she's pushing it so is nice already told me she would clear me - guess she likes me and likes my co pay - haha I need a laugh
12/1/05 had 2 nd part of sleep study - yup obstructive sleep apnea thought I just snored too friggin' loud - I have my EDG Scope on Monday and then the nutritionist (am I spelling this right :) ) on the 12th Lord Please Grant me patience... lots of it
12/5/05 – goes and Get EDG Scope with Dr. DePasquale, was way nervous they were super pack I got there about 7:45 am and didn’t get in till about 11:30 am – woke up super groggy and hungry – throat hurted a bit also stomach – later nurse said they took a biopsy of my stomach because it looked inflamed (whatever hey I was hungry). Came home and just relaxed
12/6/05 – got in touch with Dr. Kushniers’ office (endo) stated they were going to fax labs and clearance letter. Called Dr Millers’ office (pulmo)– the m/a said she was typing up the notes as we spoke and would fax over – have been communicating with Donna via email and on the phone I know that I will not be able to talk to her tomorrow due to her working all day at the office I will leave her alone until Monday and hopefully all of my stuff will be in. She has been super great - I am very thankful in having her - as a pt herself she knows the anxious feelings. Donna asked if I was sure if I wanted to go in before Christmas – I am sure I will take standby if I have to. I am more worried in taking all of the required test and steps getting so close and then not being able to get it done. Roger emailed Isaac today well actually yesterday with the job offer and I am so happy for him – though he is stressing not having us insured but hey I know I can get Kid Care for Lil Ms. Nana and I will go a apply for charity care at the hospital. I know he is tired of his old job. Got a call from the nutritionist she is able to see me on Thursday 12/8 had a cancellation – thank you lord
12/9/05- saw the nutritionist stated will type of letter but needs my last labs - lost 3 more pounds hey down to 285.6– I call my PCP and they said that they faxed it over – Spoke to Donna says she has a tentative date for me Dec 21st – stated she still needed clearance from gastro – I called them Sabina told me she sent over results and that she would tell the Dr needed a green light letter - Psych I called Dr. Galea’s office and they said they tried faxing it twice and did not go thru - I will find my copy and either fax it to even walk it down , and PCP – well all I need now is the letter from the nutritionist- will bug her again on Monday . Went to the Xmas party today meet some very nice ladies some pre and a lot post. It was nice seeing how far they lost. I took Ms. Nana with me – thy gave out water bottles and there was a lady there ( sorry forgot name) who bought in all of these beautiful dresses and pant sets (very dressy) so some people left with either a new Christmas or New Years outfit it was really nice of her. I really cant wait until I hit the century mark and be able to dress up all sexy
12/12/05 Finally got Debra the dietician to fax over clearance letter, I drove to St Mike to drop off my psych letter, and Donna was there- told me that she still had not gotten my green light letter from gastro so I went upstairs and Sabina assured me that she would personally walk it down to Donna. She also said she would contact the insurance today - Lord I hope this actually come thru, it would be a shame that after I ran around all of these months getting poked and prodded that it would be in vain. Ran around town food shopping, got some tree decorations ( I know Isaac is not going down to the crawl space to take out last years - I hope he does because I didn't buy a lot) When I walked into the house the machine was on - It's Gastro wanting me to call them back - I do - Dr is not there - Sabina tells me that I have to get some medicine due to the biopsy they did - I asked was it going to hinder my surgery - she said no as long as I take my medicine but would not tell me anything - she said she needed my pharmacy # so that she could call in a prescription. sitting patiently ... well got a call from the Dr tells me that as a result of the biopsy it seems that I have bacteria in my stomach - not the Norma flora ( regular bacteria that helps in digestion) but bacteria that can lead to ulcers - "stress induced" - funny huh? anyways so now I have to take a total of 4 pills in the morning 1 before eating and 3 after eating and the same in the afternoon - I hate pills
12/15/05 - I AM APPROVED
I was just sitting here reading the message board on OH and something told me let me call the insurance to make sure that the claim has been processed - well wouldn't you know it it was approved. I was already on my way to the office and you know just wanted to check - just to make sure that they have received it - so I went to see Dr. G and when I told Donna she was so surprised they didn't even call her yet - I am so happy - we decorated the tree today - except the star
12/19/05 Isaac drove me to Saint Clare's for PAT's 2 days to go
12/27/05- have been home since Friday everything went fine - my second day after surgery was the worst untill today - very sharp pains on my left side barely drove to the pharmacy to get my pain med finally ( long story just happy i now have meds) my follow up visit on on Thurday ( my birthday) and we will see if i lost anything.
12/29/05 - today is my birthday - i went to see the surgeon after taking out my staples he open a lil bit the incision on my left side and all of this "blook" blood and gook came out - that was where all of the pain was coming from - ooh lost 10 lbs 280 now
1/5/05 - saw the dr again down another 10 lbs woo hoo 20 lbs in 2 weeks 270 now
1/23/05 - went to my pcp had b/w & pap and lost 8 lbs 262 now
1/28/05 - havent written in a bit - have been having a bit of a battle with my emotions lately, just feelings of selthworthlessness. they the dr tells you that you will be a bundle of raw nerves but wheew its been rough- trying to get in all of my liquids is tough - well actually trying to get in all of my protein is tough - will have to try harder - well i can see them - my bat wings cant wait untill my 6 week check up when the surgeon will clear me to go to the gym
2/9/05 saw my dr on Monday - down to 258 tells me i need to up my water, protein, and can start the gym - i am a bit bummed out that i havent loss as much but at least i have lost - i just need to try harder. glad that i am finally feeling emotionally stable "for now" just to much inner issues that only i can work at. looking for a house - so most of my time is on the internet on real estate listings - hope to be in a house by august.
2/26/06 - it's been a while that I haven't written - do not know if I've lost anything since my last dr appt- I dont own a scale - and my dh wont buy one- I go back to work next week so I've been shopping for some shirts - the one thing i do see is that i need a smaller size in shirts and i did go down 1 pants size - slow and steady like the turtle says right?! - Any way - went to see so way to many houses yesterday that if I never see another one it wont be soon-
3/7/06 - I have been having a dull- pain in the middle of my stomach for almost a week and decided to call Dr/Garrison he told me to go over to Dover, well 8 hrs, cat scan, xrays, and 13 sticks - not including the IV in my ankle- later-nothing but my stomach stills hurts a bit. I havent been on the scale since my last dr's visit and I am now 247 - went looking for our "dreamhouse" well wouldn't you know it we saw it on Sat and told the realtor on Monday that we wanted to make an offer- someone already did - a contractor with cash who is going to turn the space into a commercial property - UUGH I guess back to the drawing board!!
Letter to my husband...
As I sit here and listen to Mary J. Blige – I truly feel as I always felt that I found my everything in you - you knew what I wanted, what I needed before I did. I always felt that I needed to strive for perfection, but I am not perfect none of us are. I guess it comes down to just how much imperfection you can handle. You have to take me as I am and I you. Not to say that it has all been easy, it’s been a bumpy road – at several points in the journey enough turbulence to make us question if we took the right turn. But through it all we both have come to an understanding that as long as we take the journey together no matter how rough or winding as long as we take it together we will finally reach our destination. There are times when I relive some of the not so happy moments and sometimes think, “How have I dealt with this differently and come up with many other versions. Some more worse and some better. I can honestly say with no conviction that I want nothing more than to grew older together, maybe have 3 more kids ( ok calm down Leandry - maybe 1 more :-} ) i just want to live the life we have together with out more than the daily stress that this wonderful world has to offer. I want to make you proud of me, I want my daughter to be proud of her mama. My self issues have stabilized,the weight was part of my issues but not the main thing. I know that no matter how much weight i may or may not loose it will not define the person that I am.
5/10/05 Hi Everyone, hope everyone is doing well. It's been a while since I've been online, we actually just got DSL today - I went to see the dr on 5/3 for my ( a lil over 4 mnth ) check up ( surgery dec 21) and was happy to be 234lb - 56 lbs gone since surgery total of 85 lbs from my highest 319 . I am now wearing an 18 from a tight 24 and am very happy to be blessed with the way things are going. eating more some day and less others, still drinking my isopure and still struggling to drink lots of water. have to admit have been snacking i know it's a nono- but hey i know and admit to it, salt and vinegar chips are my favorite. I have a BMI of 40.1. from 50 im getting there.
6/5/05 hello there - I know that I haven't been a faithful writer but sometimes there just isn't anytime - I am still a lurker I pop in to read and then pop right out. Well had a crazy week - on Thursday my husband and I went down to city hall to get a copy of our marriage certificate so that I could renew my driver’s license. Well after getting it we drove back home to split up – take separate cars and go to work. Well I got out and wanted to get some mail while Isaac went to his car – some car drives up close to my car, get out and steals my purse – Isaac sees him chases him to the car as he proceeds to drive off he grabs the steering wheel and is being dragged down the street – I slip off my sandals and run and jump into the car and put it in park as Isaac tries to get my purse out, I am beating on this guy – I didn’t know Isaac got the purse and he (the robber) puts the car back into gear and pretty much has kidnapped me! So here I am punching him and fighting with him and keep putting his car in park so that I can get out – I throw out another purse that is in the car to make this guy stop – then he pulls a screw driver swipes it at me and the I was finally able to get out so I start to run up the street screaming out the license plate number so that I can remember it and this bold “motherf&^%$#” comes back down the block to retrieve the purse I threw out. well long story short after the ordeal we were on our way to the hospital and ruun into the car tht the creep had stolen and still havent heard from the cops yet.
6/5/05 - hello sorry thst i haven't written in a bit - just came back today from South Carolina - my mother in law got married at the family 4th of july cookout - had a good time wish we could of stayed longer - I weighed myself today at one of the rest stops and was happy to see
that i was down to 220 - i know that i could of lost more because of the snacking but I am going back to the basics - i want to be down to 200 by August 5th - so 20 lbs to go in 1 month - it will be hard but i know that i can do it -
8/3 - went to see the surgeon - havent lose any weight - we were both disappointed - him more than me which made me upset to the point that upon leaving the oofice i stared to cry - Donna (office mgr / by pass pt) was really sweet as always and told me to do a food journal for the next 2 weeks and to email her that she would work with me - really made me feel like a failure- you know I am down 99 lbs from my heighest and 70 from surgery - i feel good (sometimes) I am so happy that I can go in the regular section in the store - granted I have to but an xl - but hey way better than 3xl (smaller than a 1xl) so shit damn it I should not feel like a failure - ... till next time America
you know what i am sitting here reading my journal and come to the realization that i didn't have this surgery to be a size 2 - i never was and frankly never want to be - i did this so that
*i woiuld be able to walk up the stairs without losing my breath -
* be able to cross my legs like a lady
* play with my daughter and not be wiped out
* wear a belt for the first time in my entire life
* feel better about myself - not depressed because the size 24 is too tight and i refuse to buy a 26
*buy something out of the regular size store - although it may be an xl atleast its not 1xl
* wear my 3 1/2 inch stilletos without falling over - or walking as if i just got off a horse
* lose weight so that i would be able to have another child with out having complications as i did with my daughter
* look at my pictures and say hey i knew her
* be smaller than my husband
* again feel confident in myself and feel as though i am the only woman my husband would ever love (had issues- to long to get into)
the initial goal that my doctor set for me was not for me but for him - my goal has changed i think that i would be very happy with being 190lbs so my new goal is not that far away
9/18/06 - went to see my Primary Doctor and drum roll please 205 lbs
@ 205 lbs You have a BMI of 35.1.
This indicates that you are Obese.
so I went from Extremely Obese to just obese great that "O" word is not in my vocabulary - TTFN
10/30/06 - Hello again - I haven’t written in over 1 month - don't know if I lost any more weight - I think that I may be just the same - have not been eating good or making any good choices - will get back to the basics - actually will go on a liquid diet to jump start my weight loss again - am supposed to be closing on our new house this Thursday - am A bit nervous and anxious at the same time - Even though I would like to be much smaller I f I’d never loose another lb I am happy - All I ever wanted was to feel comfortable in my own skin - would never be a 0 or even a 10 just want to get to 14 and I am 1 size away - I am wearing a 16 now and some large - well I do have a doctors appt in November - don’t remember the date and unfortunately not really looking forward to going - TTFN
