jobinalyn

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I haven't updated in forever so thought it was time! First and foremost i've been off insulin for over a month now! That was my MAIN reason for having the surgery. People ask me how much I want to loose, I don't really care if I do or not. The main goal was to be off my meds, not to have diabetes anymore. The weight loss is an added bonus!

I haven't been doing well with food. Everytime I eat i get sick. The weight is Slowly coming off. Not as fast as it could be im sure. That's not really an issue for me either. Soft foods work ok. I'm not getting hardly any protien in. The shakes and drinks all taste terrible that I have tried. So in recent days a friend told me that she puts her powder in her coffee just like creamer! I tried it in my herbal tea and love it! So this is how im doing it for now and I feel a little better. I drink tea several times a day..so i am hoping that between that and a few other tricks ill be back on track.

Our personal lives have been down the drain since november. My husbands twin brother was told at the beginning of november that he only had a few months left:(. We have since then moved him into our home to take care of him. It is hard to sit back and watch when you can do nothing. But GOD is great all of the time. He will provide and bring us through his plan.
If anyone of you have a facebook, please let me know so I can add you and keep better touch. I think i use that more than anything else.
Love to all, glad to see your sucess taking shape!~ jo

Ok so I have been dealing with a little head hunger. When i have thought about it i'm not at all hungry. I did try a soft scrambled egg today..that i managed to eat two little forks full. My son ate the rest..lol. I had a hard time not to drink for that hour. Everything settled ok . I have gotten my pantry stocked with some different soft foods to try a dab here or there. Still not real interested in eating food. Kinda scared i guess....

Well i'm officially out one week and down 17 pounds!  Sweet

Well i've been home since early Wednesday morning. I wasn't nervous at all for surgery. I think I was pre occupied by a tragedy that struck us monday. But surgery went well. Tuesday I was walking in the hospital. I was in some discomfort but no pain. Tuesday evening I had a problem with one of my sites. My surgeon was called back in during the night and that was quickly taken care of. I was discharged wednesday on insulin as needed..woo hoo.
The ride home was no treat, I felt every bump along the way..lol. But I have moved from discomfort to a little mild pain here and there. Enough so i'm going thru the "what the hell did i do to myself" phase. But i know that will pass . Do i regret this? NOT for a moment. The swelling is subsiding enough so the protien and liquid is going in a little easier now. Which im sure when i get some protien in there it will go a long way to making me feel better.
I did go out a walk a ways yesterday, nice and slow but too far. I was wiped out when i came back. Oh well. today is another day!

Well first off i'd like to say to everyone with me today, it's our day! It's finally here. Prayers have been said for each and everyone of you. May GOD bless each of you.
I slept like a baby last night! I am amazed. I'm doing great this morning, not nervous yet. Maybe I wont be. I prayed for help with my anxiety over this surgery, maybe its an answered prayer.
I hope the time goes by quickly and this is behind me soon...I have a few things to get ready this morning and they  we are off to the hospital. i'll be seeing you all on the losers bench..look for an update on wednesday! Love and prayers to all~jo

I've been cleaning and arrainging my bedroom all day..i'm so over that. I think im going to rest from here on out and pamper myself..maybe a  manicure and pedicure. A nice cup of tea and a long bubble bath. All the things i never take time for myself for!
I'm going to take some "before" pictures later. Ive been on liquids all day, I took some M.O.M just because. I wasn't told to, just flushing my entire system i guess. I feel calm and peaceful right now. I hope this can last until they wheel me into recovery but i know it wont..lol.
Well onto another load of laundry , then maybe some r&r.

Well here I sit taking a break from cleaning. I feel like there is so much to be done...because i have been so heavy so long my house cleaning efforts have always been the minimum. Having to take breaks so often. So i have put forth a real effort to do some better cleaning this week.
I have a turkey ready to go in the oven. Kinda my last meal thing..and so my hubby has left overs for a few days. I went today and bought my protein, broth , jello, crystal light and a few other small things. I cannot wait for monday night to get here, to have this behind me! I'm still a little nervous, but more anxious right at this point in time. I'm sure i won't sleep tomorrow night much.  I'm now wondering what life will be like without all the meds..wow that  will be fabulous! Also trying to decide on a goal weight..this is a hard one because really the weight loss is a bonus to beating the diabetes. That is my top goal, beating diabetes.
Lin if your reading this , how you doing gal? I know life is getting to busy to hang around the computer right! Hope your living it up girl, maybe i'll see you in the next support group meeting? If you have the info on the next adams meeting send it to me please.
Jenn if your reading i hope your feeling better..i'll be looking for you monday or tuesday!
I'm sure ill be back tonight or tomorrow to bore yall more! until then..

Well my pre-op is tomorrow! I'm so worried about getting canceled. In part because we went thru this with my husband. Although for different reasons. Wow it's been 37 years getting here! I've compiled a years worth of magazine subscriptions to read while im resting post op. Ive also been searching some pretty cool bariatric sites for recipies.
The thought keeps entering my head..am i getting nervous and worried over this surgery or that I will fail later like so many times before? This fear is going to make me relentless in my pursuit to have a full life! And here it is in writing for me to re-read, over and over!~

I have to say that the date is creeping up on me pretty fast..i'm getting pretty nervous and excited. I have put myself on a very restrictive diet until then, although im having trouble with craving this or that. I started compiling some recipes today. I intend to use this tool to the best of my ability to leave a healthier lifestyle, to be off meds and to ENJOY my life from now on.
I just hope my body is ready for surgery in ten days..i feel like i've waited till the last possible minute to implement some of the things they teach you. I still cannot make it thru a meal without drinking during or right afterwards. I think it's more in my head than anything else.
I'm actually writing down some ideas of things ive always wanted to do , and was never physically able to do so..my "bucket" list so to speak.  Some of the things are very simple..such as riding a bike with my son. I haven't been on a bicycle since i was like 16 years old! I want to take him on a ferris wheel, go carting. Play basketball with him, and be able to run around. Or not be tired of standing after 5 minutes.
Oh to have control over the food..i've wrote down everytime i've eaten recently..times, what i was doing, what i was craving. It is always out of boredom, or when im watching tv, or sitting infront of the computer especially. So i'm thinking that i'm gonna shake my "routine" up.  Also planning on some "me" rewards. I've been so busy taking care of everyone else , i've forgotten me somewhere along the way. A new little trinket here or there, maybe a manicure, i've never had a pedicure in my life! Maybe one of those too.
One of the ladies at a meeting i attended said this was going to make her a happier person..well i agree to some extent...but if your a miserable fat person, chances are your gonna be a miserable skinny person! I wish everyone out there looking into having WLS realizes that this will not "fix" your life..it is  tool to help you. It's not magic..sooner or later that honeymoon is over and then it's time to clean up after the party..keeping yourself in check so you don't ruin all the hard work. This is my biggest fear..regaining. I hope i stay afraid the rest of my life!
OH..lol..i colored my hair and started wearing make up again...DH said "who are you trying to impress?" I said myself! He told me I didnt need the makeup ..i've always been beautiful ..he's a keeper!

It's exciting and scary for me at the same time to realize how much my life will change 3 weeks from now! I'm excited to realize all the possibilities out there for me to do things ive never done. That I could be coming off all my meds. My diabetes , high blood pressure, PCOS and other medical issues my finally leave my body.
I wanna be able to sleep at night without waking up a zillion times because my arms are asleep from where I layed on them. Or because I have to lift my body to roll over. I wanna know what it's like to shop in the regular department store for clothing again. I wanna take my son go karting. I wanna run! I wanna eat to live not live to eat. I wanna be ALIVE instead of existing!
The scary part for me is just the unknowns of the surgery itself. There are just little things about it that make me uneasy. But I have every confidence in my surgeon and every faith in God that whatever his plan for me is will be the outcome in the end.
I'm ready to live again...really live and experiance all that life has to offer..I don't want to be a spectator any more..I WANNA BE IN THE GAME~