jjpoody

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I am so excited!  I am being banded on April 16, 2009.  I feel like this is my last big battle.  I am in recovery (NA AA) and have 8 years clean.  I quite smoking last July. And I used to think, "Well at least I can EAT!!  It's not like I am going to run some innocent bystander over because I just came from the buffet," but alas, I realize that I was hurting myself. Plus my family deserves me to be healthy.  Having a surgery date so soon makes me feel like I am checking into rehab all over again.  To stay of drugs and alcohol I simply do not place myself in its presence.  But that is not possible with food.  We all have to eat.  I think that food was also my very first drug of choice, too, and that makes me even more afraid.  I am terrified that I will fail. But then I also remember a time when I did not think life was possible without getting high, and yet here I am 8 years later living drug and alcohol free, one day at a time.