JimChunk24
This is my current weight loss chart...
Here is my history...
2/04 After exploring all avenues, I have decided to take the WLS journey. I am eager to move forward. I must now be patient throught the pre pre-op phase.
3/23/04 Hi folks, I'm new here. Actually I've been browsing through the site for a few months. After doing all the research I could online about WLS, I've decided to take the next step and see a surgeon. I've been overweight since I was a child, reached critical levels over the past couple years. I weight about 475lbs. and have a BMI of about 69. I really wish it hadn't come to this but I know it's my only way out. It's kinda wierd. I feel good that I have finally accepted the reality of my health condition rather than be in denial about how bad it really is. However, I am troubled by the fact that it has come to this. I guess my biggest worries right now are whether my PCP will support this and give me a proper referral. I have an appontment on Friday to talk to him about it. Also, I am worried about insurance approval. I have Connecticare. Also, the biggest worry is the risk. I read about 1 in 200 to 300 people dying from the surgery, 10% chance of repair surgery, 30% chance of hernia. I guess I'm just trying to balance those risks with the risks of being in the condition I am in.
3/27/04 I went to my PCP doctor today and he gave me his blessings on seeking surgery. I was a bit nervous that he would be difficult about it. I went prepared. I printed out information I gathered from here and few other sites with positive and negative information about it. I also wrote down a detailed list of all of the health issues I have that I attribute to my weight. (The list was scary. Way too Long) Also, I documented all of my attempts at weight loss as well. He was quite impressed with my forethought and was very supportive. I will call Dr. Aranows office on Monday and get the the process there rolling.
4/26/04 Hi everyone. I am waiting for my group meeting with Dr. Aranow May 26th. I wish it were yesterday. The waiting is tough. I just want to get moving and get this behind me and start losing. Meanwhile I have been working hard to try to quit smoking. I've cut down significantly and have a stop date of May 1st. I just hope things move quickly after this meeting when I set my one on one appointment with Dr. Aranow.
5/26/04 I had my informational session with Dr. Aranow tonight. It was very informative. My first impression of Dr. Aranow is that he is very confident in himself and his abilities. He seems also to be very detail oriented and committed to his work. His success is a great testament to his confidence. That confidence makes me feel very comforted about the procedure and I'm excited and look forward to meeting him one on one. Gotta call in the morning for my appointment.
5/27/04 Very Cool! I called and made my consult appointment with Dr. Aranow for July 14th. (3 days after the Kenny Chesney Concert I'm going to and 5 days before my 31st birthday. Yikes.) After last nights meeting with Dr. Aranow, I have completely quit the smoking. (I was cheating a few a day) And I am getting rolling on a diet. Gonna start trying now to get my weight down as much as I can before the surgery. From what Dr. Aranow said about the magnified risk with such an extreme BMI of 69 I need to do everything I can to lower that risk. I've failed so many times before but in the past my goal was to lose 150 lbs. Now, if I can lose 30, 40, 50 lbs. I can greatly improve the odds and start getting used to lower calorie intake. One more stab at the ol' diet for the gipper. :)
8/1/04 OK. It's been a couple months since I have posted. It's been a busy couple of months. On July 13th I had my initial consultation with Dr. Aranow. He felt positive about the possibilities, but told me I was TOO overweight to have the surgery immediately. I weighed in at 517lbs! That was about where I thought I was. The doctor told me I need to lose or try to lose about 100lbs. before having surgery. I guess that makes my hopes to have surgery around October out of the question. I was a little bummed out, but realize that if I can get this weight off, I dont necessarily have to worry about keeping it off and it will set me up really well for the surgery. I also have to once and for all quit smoking. The doctor referred me to a counselor at Middlesex hospital to hopefully guide me away from the smoking. The Doctor also gave me some indication of the various appointments I need to make prior to surgery. These include Dietician, Psychologist, Cardiologist, and also a visit to get tested and treated for sleep apnea. Before all that though I need to settle down and get moving on a diet. Once I make progress with that then I can move forward with the appointments. In the middle of all this, I got word I had to move by the end of July. My apartment search had to be quick, but I found a really nice place and moved on July 17th. The whole process has been quite hectic and I had yet another revelation about how serious my condition was. I was totally useless in moving. It took every bit of energy and strength to pack, move and unpack. I was and still am quite sore from it all. Thank God for my family who did all the physical labor moving my furniture and such. One of the great positive things about moving on my own (I had roomed with my brother and his daughter) is I can control what is in my house for food. The tough part is that I am not a cook by any stretch of the imagination. I need to find an easy way to make healthy food. I'm going to the pre-op support group meeting tomorrow night.
9/24 Things are not going well for me right now. I am making no progress in the doctors request to have me lose the weight I need to before surgery. I havent been able to quit smoking yet either. I am feeling extremely hopeless right now. I haven't been able to control myself and as much as I am so desperate to repair my life, I havent been able to honestly say I've given it a good faith effort. What is wrong with me? I know what I need to do. I know what it it takes to do it. I dont want to be the way I am. I just do not know anymore. This surgery is my last resort and I cant even get this done. My hope is fading fast and without that what is the point.
12/4 I am struggling. I have had to really look deep inside to try to figure out why despite being excited about the WLS journey I cannot meet the goals set for me by Dr. Aranow for pre-surgery. I have the awareness of what I need to do, how, and why I need to do it but there is some unknown something keeping me from taking that step. Until very recently, I have never subscribed to the notion of depression being a reality or the professions of psychology and psychiatry being truly legitimate. Never was a big fan of people using emotional instability as crutches and excuses for their problems or mistakes in life. Well, frankly, after my thoughts began to turn increasingly desperate to the point of (Lord forgive me)considering physically harming myself, I began to look at Depression more seriously. I went to webmd.com one night a few weeks ago and looked up depression and as I read and went from page to page I was stunned to find that I had virtually all of the symptoms of depression. Some of them in a severe way. I had thought things I did in the past along with my physical health (obesity) were causing me to have very poor memory and for the lag in my strength and energy. I completely broke down in tears and came to the realization this just might be that one thing that was keeping me from taking that step. Last week I visited one of Dr. Aranows psychologists and after talking and taking a test she believed I might have a serious case of depression. She referred me to a psychiatrist so that I may recieve more advanced care including possible medication. I'll be visiting with her on Monday.
9/9/2007
OK. Three years have passed since I last posted or visited this site. Shortly after my last post I met with a psychiatrist and was prescribed anti-depressants. Thank God. I awoke from a deep fog of depression within a few weeks of taking the meds. Depression has not been much of a factor in my life since. I cant say I dont have my doubts about life here and there. As I regained clarity in my life, I had second thoughts about the surgery and decided to make an effort to lose the weight naturally. I figured if I had to lose 100lbs. for Dr. Aranow to do the surgery on me, I might as well just keep going. However, as of this writing, I am still in the same place I was 3 years ago at over 500 lbs. Probably pushing 550 + now. Where do I go now? Time to revisit surgery. Enough is enough already. I made a committment to myself several years ago that 35 years old is the absolute drop dead deadline to do something or give up completely and live my life out having failed myself. This will not happen. I refuse to fail. In 2006 I had an infection scare that landed me in the hospital for 11 days. Since then, I've had regular visits with my physician. I tried several other diets including a couple meal delivery plans. Nothing has worked. I continue to undermine myself and I'm getting nowhere. SO, I've decided absolutely positively without a doubt and without reservation that I WILL HAVE THIS SURGERY!!!!!!! I am going to an informational seminar at New Britain General Hospital for Dr. Giles on Sept. 20th. I intend to take whatever steps necessary to have this surgery within the next 6 months or at the absolute latest by my 35th birthday in July 2008. This will not be without obsticles. One HUGE obstacle being lack of insurance coverage. I intend to beg borrow and steal to make this happen. I have about 40% of the money in my 401K that I will empty out and take the penalties for. SO, I'm back friends! I look forward to posting on the boards here and seeing some of you that were at various phases of the journey and where you are now. I'll post again regularly here to share my journey as well.
