jfur

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So, it's been over a year since the last time I've posted anything. I abandoned this site in search of something better because I felt that there was wayyy too much bickering going on in the forums and not enough support. I hope that coming back to this site I will find the suppport that I've been looking for. It's amazing how much has happened in the year that I've been absent. I have lost over 130lbs and am still going. It's slowed down considerably, but I feel like I can control it. As long as I am careful in what I do, I will continue to lose weight until I reach my goal. Once there, I hope that I can maintain it. I know there will be times when I gain weight and lose my battle with carbs. That is a battle that we all face. I just hope that as those obsticles come to me, I will be able to deal with them in such a way to have continued success. Many other things happened in my absence that I didn't think would be a side effect of the surgery. Last I was on here was in July of 2010. I had my surgery a month before that. At that time I was living in Kansas City with a jobless man and  was struggling to keep us afloat. He quit his adventure of finding a job, and thew himself into the MMORPG world while I took as much overtime as possible to keep us from losing our apartment and vehicles. I was working 12 hr night shifts at a hospital and doing as much time as possible, when I finally decided that I needed a day schedule. I was having difficulty keeping my vitamins in order when switching to being awake during the day isntead of the night on my days off. Then, I decided it was time for me to get out of my poisionous relationship. We broke up but because we had a lease signed together, I had to stay until March which was still six months away! We split the bills and it was actually not a bad living arrangement. As the weight came off, I found that I had way more confidence and I was ready to use it on some dates!! I joined a dating website (POF), and went on several dates that left MUCH to be desired. I was 90lbs down and feeling good! I went on several shopping sprees and every new date was a reason for me to buy new clothes (and since I was only paying half the bills now, I had plenty of money to spend!) My confidence soared high, but soon I felt like no body wanted me. I kept going on these dates and felt like guys really only wanted to be with me for a one night stand! In October, a guy on the site messaged me. I ignored him and wouldn't respond promptly to his messages. He persisted. I was so fed up with guys at this point I kept putting off every date that he tried to get me to go on. Finally, I agreed to go. I was going to meet him at starbucks on the plaza just down the street from my work after my shift. I worked and felt so tired and I really did not want to go. I figured it would end up like all the others anyway. I called his phone repeatedly, but only got a "this number has been disconnected" message. Frustrated, I changed clothes in the bathroom at work ,and begrudgingly went down to starbucks. I sat there for ten minutes sipping my coffee before I got a call. My date (Daniel) said that he was late because he got lost. "Great.. another winner.." I thought. Then I told him how to get to starbucks from where he parked. He still got lost! I was amused at this point and could tell he was a little frustrated. Finally while sitting at my table drinking my hazelnut latte, he came in. It took all I had for my jaw not to hit the floor. Butterflies tortured my new gastric pouch. He walked up to the table sat down and just started talking. He talked for nearly and hour and I listened to his stories. He was so sweet! We thendecided to walk around. It was cold outside and I was freezing, but he was in a short sleeved shirt and still so warm! He held my hand and we walked around on what would be the most monumental date of my life. One month later we were exclusively dating. Six months after that, we were married! I can't be more thankful for the amazing turn my life has taken. Gastric Bypass didn't make me meet my new husband, but it was the beginning of a journey to happiness that I didn't realize that I was about to take. I had the confidence and self respect to leave the toxic realtionship that I was in, and gained a relationship with a wonderful man that I just can't stop thinking about. Its amazing how big of a side effect confidence can be after gastric bypass.

Had surgery on Monday.. boy was I a nervous wreck!! But when it came time to wheel me into the operating room they got me on some really good stuff and I was ready to go. They knocked me out  (and I didn't even know it) and the next thing I know I'm awake in recovery!! Now.. there were a few things that didn't go as planned. My oxygen level wouldn't stay up so they had to continue the oxygen until my last day in the hospital. I think I might have had a partial lung collapse, but after working on my spirometer thingy and doing deep breathing exercises today I am feeling much better. I was also having sharp pains on my sides, but the doctor said that those were normal and might actually get worse before they get better. Either way, I was in the hospital for two days and on my way home stopped by walmart and went grocery shopping ( I had someone with me so don't worry I wasn't picking up stuff I wasn't supposed to). Honestly, the more I walked the better I felt and I think that is really going to help me have a speedy recovery, that and drinking water water water!!!

Alright. Well... its Thursday today and my surgery is on Monday. I'm all sorts of nervous. One minute I'm extremely happy and the next I am sad. I know this is because I'm nervous and I know many others on this site have gone through the same thing and I am so thankful for support groups and online communities such as this. This site has helped me in so many ways already. I have read forums everyday about what others are dealing with before and after surgery and it has helped me to realize that I'm not the only one with these worries and concerns. I'm so happy to be able to have my dream come true and to be healthy and (fingers crossed) beautiful to myself. Pray for me this Monday.. my surgery is at noon.. I'm so nervous!!