jdmac21
One Week Later - Surgery Over
May 21, 2008
Hello everyone - I am back after having my surgery last week......all went well, no complications.......pain in the hospital stayed about a 3 to 4 but right after waking up in the recovery room, which I dont remember, I was told that I reported pain of about 8. I came home last Saturday and have been trying to get used to 80 to 100oz of fluids a day, 3 smaaaaaaaaaall cups of food three times a day, and walking each day. I look different after just one week!!!!!! I have to get my before pics posted. This morning I got up with no pain and that amazed me. I was told as soon as that happens, discard the pain med immediately........I have a strong one in elixsir form and not half way through it with up to 2 refills.........still trying to figure out what to do there. Glad to be home - had one excellent nurse (Kim) and one very, very, very incompetent nurse (Joann) but her poor bedside manner and bad attitude didnt damper the experience. As a matter of fact I used Joann as the example of how to handle people post op who do have poor work habits. Kim on the other hand made the difference. When Joann lied about the functionality of the clinical equipment (my pain pump was not working for the first two days), Kim worked on it during the night shift and was able to fix it. When Joann then indicated that it was not working because of my own ignornance, Kim came in during the night shift and explained that there was a kink in my IV that was not allowing enough of the med to pass through. Joann complained most of her shift about everything and made every hospital wow moment seem insignificant. Kim praised me for being able to urinate after having the catheter removed, and for some people that makes all the difference. I have not weighed myself yet since surgery day but rest assured, my clothes are all hanging. I go back to have my staples removed tomorrow afternoon and I am sure that they will weigh me then.
One More Day til surgery
May 13, 2008
Today is a a very eventful day. My wife and I are entertaining out of town guests.....my MIL is visiting to help with the kids while I recover and my wife helps me to recover. My mother is visiting as well and will be there while I am in the hospital and when I get home. I have been on the pre-op diet for the past 2 weeks and have lost 18 pounds. For anyone who is preop, please know that this is a journey and it starts waaaaaay before the surgery date. Getting to this point is just a stop along the way. While I am doing what needs to be done physically I am also working out the emotional issues as well.
When you have been big all of your life, you tend to become the type of person who doesnt rock the boat.......now keep in mind I have seen big people (bigger than me actually) who have had the highest self esteem in the world - that just wasnt me. I remember the taunts and teases as a child in elelmentary school, the teases and taunts in high school, the rejection I have experienced as an adult in the workplace.......many times I wondered what was wrong with me.
As I enter the world of being post op I am facing those past experiences, and really using the God-given intellect that I have to understand why these individuals treated me like I did but also how I treated myself in return.........how because I was so embarrassed because of, let'ss say, splitting my pants at work, and instead of one person saying "hey, check you pants" I heard snikers and jokes about it all around me until I felt self conscious (knowing nothing), went to the bathroom to check myself out and BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!......they REALLY WERE laughing at me....it wasnt just my imagination. After years of that happening, I withdrew. I was scared to leave my home, socialize, or make friends because it became engrained in me that "people will say one thing when they really feel another". I have been called lazy - trifling - incompetent - undeserving and probably whatever else fits the description of someone who is morbidly obese and emotionally withdrawn from the mainstream as a defensive mechanism.
After this surgery, those people will still exist.......those memories will still be there, and in some way, the hurt will never go away. I have decided to use the bad memories, the embarrassments that have caused emotional trauma, the "stares" (you have to have experienced it to know what I mean). I actually am grateful for having them because now I can test my true strength by using those experiences to make me a better person post op. I know exactly how not to treat someone. I know without a doubt t hat kicking someone while their down is the worst act and worst feeling imaginable. There are others out there who are hurting and while this surgery is meant to be a tool, it can be much much more. While pursuing my MBA I learned how businesses maximize returns on investments made, but not just initial investments, but the incremental investments that are made from marginal returns. This is a life time committment, and going into it, while there is some level of selfishness to be expected, it is also a committment to help others who may be considering the surgery or at least looking for a way to better themselves.
When you have been big all of your life, you tend to become the type of person who doesnt rock the boat.......now keep in mind I have seen big people (bigger than me actually) who have had the highest self esteem in the world - that just wasnt me. I remember the taunts and teases as a child in elelmentary school, the teases and taunts in high school, the rejection I have experienced as an adult in the workplace.......many times I wondered what was wrong with me.
As I enter the world of being post op I am facing those past experiences, and really using the God-given intellect that I have to understand why these individuals treated me like I did but also how I treated myself in return.........how because I was so embarrassed because of, let'ss say, splitting my pants at work, and instead of one person saying "hey, check you pants" I heard snikers and jokes about it all around me until I felt self conscious (knowing nothing), went to the bathroom to check myself out and BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!......they REALLY WERE laughing at me....it wasnt just my imagination. After years of that happening, I withdrew. I was scared to leave my home, socialize, or make friends because it became engrained in me that "people will say one thing when they really feel another". I have been called lazy - trifling - incompetent - undeserving and probably whatever else fits the description of someone who is morbidly obese and emotionally withdrawn from the mainstream as a defensive mechanism.
After this surgery, those people will still exist.......those memories will still be there, and in some way, the hurt will never go away. I have decided to use the bad memories, the embarrassments that have caused emotional trauma, the "stares" (you have to have experienced it to know what I mean). I actually am grateful for having them because now I can test my true strength by using those experiences to make me a better person post op. I know exactly how not to treat someone. I know without a doubt t hat kicking someone while their down is the worst act and worst feeling imaginable. There are others out there who are hurting and while this surgery is meant to be a tool, it can be much much more. While pursuing my MBA I learned how businesses maximize returns on investments made, but not just initial investments, but the incremental investments that are made from marginal returns. This is a life time committment, and going into it, while there is some level of selfishness to be expected, it is also a committment to help others who may be considering the surgery or at least looking for a way to better themselves.
Remembering
Apr 30, 2008
Hello all. I guess I will use this first blog as a synopsis of how things have gone to now.
March 2006 - Living my life, loving my wife and our four kids, working a decent job, making decent salary, just graduated from college with BA in business administration - settled in a 30 year fixed mortgage and feeling good about life.........except I wasn't - I was morbidly obese, in pain everyday - suffering from throbbing headaches and out of breath from just walking from my desk to the bathroom. After graduating from college I packed up the wife and kids and we moved 1000 miles west in search of something better - better for the kids (education and environment-wise) and better for my marriage, which by the way wasn't the best at the time but that is another story.
