japdny
Good vs Evil (Exercising vs Carbs)
Jun 13, 2009
So its 1:45am and I am thinking I should have not had that espresso so late. Not much to do at this late hour besides surf the net so here I am. I am kind of excited that I only have 3 more lbs to lose until I need to lose less then 100lbs. I will be really excited when I weigh less than my husband but I have about 52lbs to go befor that happens.
I was feeling really good today about exercising (speedy 3 mile walk) especially since I haven't done anything all week long. But then I had rye bread for my sandwich. Did I mention I am not suppose to have any carbs, so I damned myself and had a 1/2 bun w/my bbq pork and a little potato salad. Will need to find a way to work that off tommorow!
Well here's to hoping tommorow is a better day!
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I was feeling really good today about exercising (speedy 3 mile walk) especially since I haven't done anything all week long. But then I had rye bread for my sandwich. Did I mention I am not suppose to have any carbs, so I damned myself and had a 1/2 bun w/my bbq pork and a little potato salad. Will need to find a way to work that off tommorow!
Well here's to hoping tommorow is a better day!
Derserving Better
May 06, 2009
So I have been doing some thinking today and have decided that the surgery was a sucess but as far as me dealing w/my eating issues, not so much. I have made two trips in the last month to visit friends and on several occasions have strayed or fell the wagon... a chip here a extra carb there. So after my last trip I decided to get really serious. But then my mom flew in and what is the first thing I do, eat what a pepperoni stomboli....seriously! What the hell is wrong w/me! As I am eating I know I could have done better, should have done better. I even ate to fast and felt the food rise into my throat, talk about uncomfortable, that can't be good for my esophagus.
I got my first fill about 2 weeks ago and was doing ok but definatley need to learn to eat a lot lot slower. I have had that throat thing happen one too many times and am worried I will injury myself. I usually do good at breakfast and dinner but for some reason around lunch time I get so hungery I can get it in fast enough. So hopefully I have learned my lesson and will do better tommorow.
I was not expecting this to be easy but I was also not expecting it to be so damn hard to control myself. I was watching the Biggest Loser and as the contestants crossed the finish line after 26 miles I was crying b/c I wanted that to be me so badly. I want to be pushed and stongly motivated. I need a Jillian or Bob to push me to the point of breaking b/c I certainly can not do this by myself. I wish I had the money for a trainer b/c I know I could do so much better, hell I think I deserve so much better. We all do!
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I got my first fill about 2 weeks ago and was doing ok but definatley need to learn to eat a lot lot slower. I have had that throat thing happen one too many times and am worried I will injury myself. I usually do good at breakfast and dinner but for some reason around lunch time I get so hungery I can get it in fast enough. So hopefully I have learned my lesson and will do better tommorow.
I was not expecting this to be easy but I was also not expecting it to be so damn hard to control myself. I was watching the Biggest Loser and as the contestants crossed the finish line after 26 miles I was crying b/c I wanted that to be me so badly. I want to be pushed and stongly motivated. I need a Jillian or Bob to push me to the point of breaking b/c I certainly can not do this by myself. I wish I had the money for a trainer b/c I know I could do so much better, hell I think I deserve so much better. We all do!
One day at a time.
Mar 20, 2009
Today I am officially 2 weeks post-op and doing much better. I had my first post op visit yesterday and everything went really well, m Dr. even moved on to pureed foods (yeah). I have been a lot of great suggestions b/c I had no clue what I was going to eat. Today I had a protein shake, then grits with a 1/2c of FF milk and 1/4 FF cheese (thats already 40g P) I can't believe how full I feel right now. I plan to take a walk when I am done here w/my lovely 4yr old.
I was a little disappointed yesterday b/c the doctors scale showed my 3lbs heavier then mine and I am dying to get out of the 280s but I don't care, my scale is right!
I am so trying to stay positive but bad habits are so damn hard to break. I just have to keep reminding myself how much happier & healthier I will be in the long run. Hard to due when you use food for instant gradification.
Just get through one day at a time!
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I was a little disappointed yesterday b/c the doctors scale showed my 3lbs heavier then mine and I am dying to get out of the 280s but I don't care, my scale is right!
I am so trying to stay positive but bad habits are so damn hard to break. I just have to keep reminding myself how much happier & healthier I will be in the long run. Hard to due when you use food for instant gradification.
Just get through one day at a time!
Its a good day!
Mar 18, 2009
So I am almost 2 weeks post op and I feel like it is going to be a good day. Lunch time is around the corner and I am starting to get that urge to find something yummy. I really cherished lunch during the week b/c the kids are in school and I can have a meal where I am not attending to someone else or listening to bickering in the background. I almost always eat lunch at home and usually in front of the TV. That has become a big comfort thing for me, eating and watching a good show. It's just not the same w/a protein shake. Just one more bad habit I am going to have to break. I planned on taking a walk today, hopefully I can motivate myself after I am done typing....scratch that. I will go walking when I am done writing my blog!
So I went to my first support group yesterday and was surprise to find that I was the youngest person there. I am ending my time in the 30s and unhappily going to be welcoming the 40s later this year. I swore to myself I would not be fat and forty. It stems from when I was in grad school, we were discussing attributing factors to heart disease, which happen to be the three Fs...Fat, Forty, Female. I can't do anything about the last two but I can certainly change the #1 factor. I have two young kids and I just can't, no, will not die because of something that I have control over.
Anyway the support group was just ok...didn't really leave with any good advice or great insight. Plus there was this really annoying man who kept interrupting the speaker, who happen to be a psychologist. The only thing I did leave with was that I might benefit from some sort of counseling. I have always had issues with food and would love to know why, plus I tend to have a short fuse when pushed to far that I would like to work on. I will probably go back next month, there will be a nutritionist who is going to take the group food shopping. Teach us what foods we should be eating and what to look for on the labels. Could be interesting.
It's walking time!
About Me
Myrtle Beach, SC
Location
39.5
BMI
Surgery
03/06/2009
Surgery Date
Mar 16, 2009
Member Since
