jackiehoffman

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It's been a long time since I wrote. Ever since I found out my surgery date I've just been waiting for the next thing and using my CPAP. I had my preadmission tests (PATs) last Wednesday and everything went ok. I got blood drawn, gave a urine sample, then they took a chest xray and an ultrasound on my gallbladder. Then a nurse came in to check my CPAP and I had all the required hours more than doubled over and I did those breathing tests. Then the a different nurse came in and asked me lots of questions, then the PATs Dr came in and asked more questions, felt around on my stomach and said I was good to go! Then the nutritionist came in and gave me the Barix book and gave me protein samples. 

Yesterday I started my 10 day liquid diet and it is much harder than I thought. I have 3 protein shakes a day, along with water, decaf tea and coffee, sf jello and popsicles, plus beef and chicken broth. I couldn't handle much of the beef broth. I felt tired most of the day, I hope it passes because I don't know how I'm going to get through another 9 days of this.

It's starting to hit me that the surgery really is going to happen and it's right around the corner.  

On Tuesday, the day after my birthday, I got a call from Barix to schedule my surgery! I will have my RNY on December 1! I go in for my pre admission testing on November 17. I will be on the 10 day liquid diet during Thanksgiving, so I don't know if I am going to tell my family or not. We go to my Aunt Karen's along with the rest of the whole family each year. I need to make a decision. I was talking to my husband about going, but only pretending to eat. Like get a small plate of food, but act like I'm so busy talking to everyone that no one notices I'm not eating. Or, I just don't go and pretend I'm sick. I really don't know!

I'm a little bummed that I have to wait so long for my surgery, it just seems so long to wait. Over 2 1/2 months and I started this whole thing June 30. I guess now I am becoming really impatient, but I just need to be thankful that I am getting it at all and that my insurance is paying for everything. Some people aren't that lucky or don't get approved at all.

I'll let everyone know what I plan on doing about Thanksgiving!

Last Friday I went back into the sleep center to get fitted for the cpap. It went much better than I expected. I think part of it was because I knew what to expect a little from my previous sleep study. I went in and almost as soon as I got there, the technician started going over all the cpap stuff. I wasn't feeling happy about needing the cpap at all and I told her about my apprehensions.

So I got a whole half hour to relax before she came back in with all the different masks. The one I thought I'd want, which was 2 nose "pillows" made me feel like I was being suffocated and I had to make sure to keep my mouth shut or else I felt like I was gagging or be strangled. The other one, which goes just over your nose felt a little better but I opted for the full face mask that goes over my mouth and nose. I didn't want to worry that if I opened my mouth that the machine wasn't working or I would feel like I'm dying.

I had to sit around with the mask on for a little while, then I had to lay down with it on. I was so tired from the day and the stress from worrying about the night that I almost dozed off. She said I only needed to go up to a 4 or 5 since my sleep apnea is so mild. Then she came back in and hooked my up to all the wires. This time it wasn't so bad. Last time it felt like it took an hour to get everything hooked up to me.

So then I got hooked up to everything and went to bed to read. I am really disappointed that I can't really wear my glasses over the mask and read. I can read a little but there's a piece that goes between my eyes and it's hard to focus. I am so happy I only have to use this until after my surgery.

I got pretty decent sleep that night, considering I had all the stuff hooked up to me. The technician came and woke me up at 6:30am, where before she said I could go at 5:30am because I had been awake.

She said I would get a call from the medical supply place in 5 - 10 days to set a time for them to bring the machine. I am still waiting for the call. I called Barix a few days ago to see if there was anything I needed to do. Apparently, they never got the clearance from my pcp or ekg results from them, so I went and made them refax it. Thankfully, everything went through this time and Barix did get it. They said they're still waiting for the letter from my insurance company and if I don't get it by tomorrow I have to call Barix to let them know.

So everything's at a stand still right now. Once I get my cpap machine I'm suppossed to be on it for 200 hours or 4 weeks before we can continue. Once I get it I'm suppossed to call Dr. Medvetz's assistant to let her know.

I'm very happy to have the cpap thing over with and I'm just waiting to get it here and I'm so happy to be approved, but I'm a little depressed. It's so hard not to tell anyone, although my husband and I agreed that I should probably tell my mom soon and hopes she respects my wishes that she keeps it to herself. I wish I had more people to talk to about this. I'll be going back to the Barix support groups that are coming up, so hopefully that will make me feel better.

I haven't written here for awhile, because, to be honest I was a little down in the dumps. I found out a week after my sleep study that I had mild sleep apnea. I was devastated. That meant I had to go back to the sleep center to get fitted for the cpap machine.

I totally took my time with that and avoided it. In the meantime, I got a letter from Barix saying I had to go a 6 month diet before my insurance would approve it. Although, after I had my consultation, I looked up my insurance and it turns out that on June 19, they changed their policy! So all I had to do was get a nutritional evaluation done (which was done over the phone) and they submitted it to the insurance!

Just today I found out I was approved! I am still in shock! Last week I finally scheduled my sleep study and it's this Friday. I can't wait to get it done and get my surgery scheduled! I even went to a few of Barix's support groups and I'm so glad I did. I found a few friends and it's been really helpful. I found out through the support group that I'll probably have to get 200 hours of sleeping with the cpap machine before I can get the surgery. I'm pretty bummed about that, but whatever I need to do I am going to do.

So that's what has been going on! So now I'm just waiting for the next sleep study and I'll find out what happens next.

I'm sorry I didn't write sooner about the sleep study. I was utterly exhausted after the sleep study and I'm still catching up. Life is getting in the way of things. On Monday we found out our laptop was completely riddled with viruses and "infections". It was terrible. We had years worth of pictures on there and we were worried they would be lost. Luckily, my husband knows a thing or two about computers and was able to get rid of all the bad stuff and keep all the pictures. My son will no longer be allowed on the laptop, he was playing games on websites that gave us the viruses.

Then last night we found out my husband's car won't start. It's an older car but hasn't really given us any problems. About 6 months ago we had to put $1k worth of work into it, but we needed his car and it was the first time we had to really get anything fixed. Things are really tight money wise lately and his car not starting is bad news. He took my car today but hopefully we'll get his car towed and get it fixed. I'm hoping it will only cost a few hundred dollars. We tried jumping it, but that didn't work so it's not that.

Ok, enough about my problems. Onto the sleep study. Well, to sum it up, I hated it. To be honest, I was sort of looking forward to the sleep study because it meant I had a bed to myself and a break away from the kids. The attendant/nurse I had was great, she had a great sense of humor and made me feel at ease and comfortable.

I got there at 8pm and she showed me to my room which reminded me of a hotel room. She showed me where everything was and gave me an hour to myself to get settled before she came in and hooked me up the wires. The wires was the worse part. I had the wires connected to my legs, 1 on each, and the wires from them went through the inside of my nightgown and then down my back, which was connected to the rest of the wires. The rest of the wires were connected below my collar bones on both sides, then one on my forehead, behind my ears, on the sides of my eyes and on my chin. She also put some on my head, which she used a glue to hold the sensors or whatever they are called on. I also had one of those oxygen things on my nose, that she taped to my face. I hated that thing.

She connected all the wires to a "jack box" and I was able to wear it around my neck for an hour or whenever I was ready for bed. The jack box ended up feeling very heavy around my neck and my neck started feeling very sore. I was able to walk around, go the bathroom or whatever I wanted with the wires and the jack box around my neck. I got so bored though. I was afraid to move much because of all the wires and I was so uncomfortable from the jack box. I ended up putting "I Love Lucy" on and read my book.

At 10pm, I was getting tired, mostly from being bored. At home I would have stayed up until 11:30pm, but then again I'm usually still doing stuff for the kids until I get them to bed and taking care of house stuff, playing online and stuff. So at 10pm, Nicole, the attendant came in and I got into bed and she hooked the box up and attached something to my finger with tape. She told me if I needed her I just had to talk and she could hear through the intercom. She said I could move in any position and the wires would be fine. When she left, she talked through the intercom and had me do things like stare at an object for 30 seconds, blink my eyes 10 times, look from left to right with just my eyes, hold my breath for 10 seconds and other stuff like that.

I laid awake for a little awhile and I eventually fell asleep. I think around 3:30am I woke up and asked her to come in so I could use the bathroom. Then I laid back down and I felt wide awake. I was so aware that she could see me through the camera and could hear anything I did. The bed was also weird. Obviously I was used to it, but it was more than it just not being my bed. It had a very strong fabric softener smell. I am not used to that at all. I never use it in my own laundry and to sleep in a bed that's sheets were washed in it was really hard to get used to. It gave me a headache and made me feel nauseous. If you are getting a sleep study done and are sensitive to fabric softener also, make sure to ask if they use it in their sheets.

After an hour of laying awake, I had to go to the bathroom again, so I asked her to come back in. I turned the tv back on because it sometimes helps me sleep but I laid there again for another hour, unable to go to sleep. I became a little panicky, thinking I somehow messed up the sleep study by not falling back to sleep. After a little while Nicole came back in and said it was 5:30am and if I wanted to leave I could. I asked her if I messed it up and she said no, that they got enough data from when I first fell asleep. So that's good.

She removed the tape and wires, which really hurt. I felt like I was being waxed! Then I got dresses and ready to leave. When I looked in the mirror I was shocked to see what the tape/sensors did to my face! I had big red marks/welts wherever the tape was. It looked so strange. My hair also felt terrible from the glue that held the sensors on my head. She moved it with acetone but there was still a lot of residue.

When Nicole saw my face she said I must be really sensitive to it. The marks were still there on Sunday and a little on Monday. I washed my hair on Saturday to get rid of the glue but I noticed a few spots where it's still there.

Once I finally got home, my husband told me to go back to bed and I slept for about 3 hours. It felt so good to be in my own bed! I felt pretty good once I got up but that night I was exhausted again and I slept all through the night. I was pretty exhausted on Sunday.

I haven't heard anything more from Barix or the insurance or anything from the sleep study yet. So for now I've done everything I had to that the surgeon asked and I'm just waiting for Barix to contact me in the meantime about the insurance.

Last night I had my psychological evaluation. It went very well and it wasn't bad as I thought it was going to be. I thought she was going to ask me a lot of hard to answer questions, where I'd feel like if I said the wrong thing, I'd jeopordize my chances of getting the surgeon.

She asked me about my family, my medical history, weight history, just simple things like that. The whole thing was over within 50 minutes. I think sometime next week is when Barix will have the report.

Tonight is my sleep study. I am not suppossed to drink caffeine 4 hours before I go in, which is at 8pm. I'm also suppossed to take a shower and wash my hair, but I'm not suppossed to use conditioner, gels or lotions. This is a little tough because I have very thick hair and I need to use conditioner, but somehow I will manage. I also use cocoa butter or a good lotion after I take a shower or else my skin feels very dry from the soap and I even use Dove soap, which is the only kind I can use without my skin feeling like it's being stretched. So I'm going to be a little uncomfortable.

The "bedroom" I'll be in does have a private bathroom with a shower and shampoo and conditioner, so hopefully I will be able to take a shower and rewash my hair with conditioner tomorrow morning before I leave there. 

What's strange about this sleep study, is that weird things are bothering me or stressing me out about it. For one, I have no pretty nightgowns or cute pajamas! Because of my kids, almost all of my stuff is stained or I just wear a tshirt to bed. I'm not wearing a tshirt tonight because I don't want to show off my legs and undies to these people! I do have nightgowns, but like I said, they're stained. All of them are from getting my kids crystal light in the middle of the night and I've spilled it! So I dug through all of my stuff and I finally came across a grey nightgown that's to my knees and it's knit, so it feels like a tshirt. My advice to people getting it done and if you have the money (which I obviously did not) is go out and buy some pretty pjs if you don't already have them! :)

The other thing is that I usually have to get up during the night and pee. What I'm suppossed to do is say in a normal voice that I have to do so and someone comes in and unhooks me from the machine. I hate having to ask people I don't know for help, but I guess I'll have to get used to it!

I am bringing a book, a magazine and season 2 of I Love Lucy (my favorite show ever!) for when I'm there. I'll write tomorrow about how it goes!

Today I have my pcp (primary care physician) appointment. It went very well! He gave me the go ahead and they did an ekg. The ekg took only a minute where I thought it would take a half hour! Everything with that was normal. The only thing that I'm confused about was when the nurse weighed me, it said 226. I said, "There's no way that's right" because last week at the consultation I was 238! So I came home and weighed myself and the scale said 237. So their scale was off! I hope that this doesn't affect anything in regards to the surgery!

Yesterday I talked to 2 psychologists. It turns out, my insurance will cover the first part of the psych eval, but not the second part. So, I only have to pay for the second part and my copay, but then I can submit the receipt to our fsa (flexible spending account) and get reimbursed! So that was good news! I made an appointment with one, but she didn't have evening hours and she charged a lot. I had no idea what I was going to do with the kids while I go to my appointment because she said it would take hours to do the psych eval.

Then later I got a phone call from a different psychologist and she had evening hours as late as 8pm, she said the whole thing only takes 50 minutes at most and she her fee was much cheaper! So I made an appointment with her and it's for tomorrow at 8pm! I still have to cancel my appt with the other one though.

I'm very relieved my family doctor didn't make me do another diet or give me a hard time! So tomorrow is my psych eval and Friday is my sleep study! I can't wait to hear back from the insurance to see if I was approved! Fingers crossed!

Today I started calling psychologists to schedule my psych eval for the surgery. I finally got a hold of someone other than voicemail and she said that most insurances won't cover a psych eval. She said she could put it through for me and see if I get any kind of reimbursement, but most people don't.

This Dr's fee was $300. A Dr I called last week said she doesn't accept my insurance but her fee is only $150. I called my husband to see if he can look into our benefits and sure enough, our insurance does not cover psych evals unless there's a disorder. He said he remembers another program at work that had counseling and other things, so he's going to see if we still have that program and if it covers psych evals.

If not, I'm going to try and call Barix, maybe they can refer me to someone who does psych evals cheap or will do a payment plan. If that doesn't work out, I'll make the appt with the dr who only charges $150. I know $150 isn't a lot, considering this is for something that will forever change my life for the good, but I guess I wasn't expecting my insurance not to cover that.

Other than that, my family doctor appointment is tomorrow and my sleep study is this Friday night! I am nervous about both of these things. I am so worried that my family doctor is going to be a jerk to me and say I just need to go on a diet or won't give me the clearance. I'm nervous about the sleep study because I'll be sleeping by myself in a strange environment, but I'm sure everything will be fine.

I will post tomorrow after I get back from my family doctor, wish me luck!

Yesterday my husband and I went in for our consultations. It was with a group of people, which was nice because we got to see other people in the same boat as us. The surgeon was very nice and helpful, plus honest and sincere which I really appreciated.

She went over the surgery types and the risks associated with both, along with how much weight one can expect to lose and which illnesses can be cured with each surgery. My husband wanted her to explain about the vertical sleeve although they have not done one yet there at Barix in Langhorne.

We had our private consultation/appointment with her and she definitely approved me for the surgery. She isn't too fond of lap band, only because she never knows who will have results and who won't and she said the lap rny/gastric bypass is for me. For my husband, he was a little scared out of the whole thing. He doesn't want lap band because of having to go in for fills and the thought of constantly being stuck with needles isn't appealing to him (me either!). He doesn't want something as drastic as the bypass, so he's interested in the vertical sleeve. She said she would do it for him with another surgeon with her, but first we need to see if the insurance would even cover it, since the big problems they're facing with the sleeve is with insurance. He's still on the fence about the whole idea of weight loss surgery. I personally don't see him going through with it, even though he is over 100 lbs overweight and is a candidate for surgery.

I loved the surgeon, she was so sweet and wonderful. After the appt we were told by the nurse what to do next. They're going to submit it to the insurance and (hopefully!) we'll hear back soon. In the meantime we are to get clearance from our family doctor, an ekg, a psychiatric evaluation and a sleep study. My family doctor appointment is next Wednesday and they'll do the ekg there too. My sleep study is next Friday! I left a voicemail with one of the psychiatrics they referred us to, so I'm waiting to hear back and make that appointment.

I am NOT going to dwaddle with this, I've wasted too much of my life being fat and unhappy! I am going to do whatever I can to get this ball rolling and I made the first step with the consultation last night. My only dread of course is the insurance. I am very excited about this and I hate the thought that my life and future is in the hands of the insurance company. I really hope to hear back soon and they it's not denied. Fingers crossed!

In a few hours I will be at the group consultation. I am so excited and nervous!

Last night my husband and I filled out all of our forms. I couldn't believe all the diets I had been on in the past. My first diet that I remember was when I was only 11 and my mom took me to a diet dr. I was on a strict diet and barely lost any weight, so naturally I gave up.

I am so afraid that this isn't going to happen. I keep thinking "What if this?" and "What if that?". What if the insurance doesn't approve it even after 2 or 3 different appeals? Or what if the surgeon says I'm not fat enough even though I have a bmi of 46.8? Or what if she wants me to diet for another year? Like I said in my previous post, in my mind, I almost already have a surgery date scheduled. So of course my hopes are up and I'm afraid it's not going to happen!

I have to think positive! I will post tomorrow about the consultation!