Jeanne C.
Christmas 2009
Dec 29, 2009
Although hectic at times, it was so different this year. For the first time ever, I don't feel FAT. Not only did I get compliments on how good I look, I actually accepted those compliments without guilt! And, when I look at the pictures from this year, I don't cringe. I also didn't feel deprived, because I made sure that there was something sugar free for me to enjoy. I made a yummy Tiramisu from a recipe on Bariatric Eating.com. Everyone absolutely loved it. All I needed was a few spoonfuls and I felt satisfied.
Wow...life is sure changing for me. Good...it's about time.
Feelin' better
Oct 09, 2009
I did have breast implant surgery last week and am just coming off the painkillers...finally a clear head! The lord has been with me all the way this time...I guess when everyone said it would be "my year", they were right!
The surgery went great...no complications (pretty unusual for me). I had both breast implants replaced with silicone gel. Since my saline implants kept rupturing and had to be replaced every few years, the surgeon recommended silicone. After much research on the pros and cons of silicone, I decided to go with them. Hopefully I made the right choice.
Other than gaining 5, yes, 5 pounds (a week later, they are gone thank god), it wasn't as painful as I expected. No nausea, no vomiting, no drainage, no excrutiating pain (like every other previous surgery).
Since I now live alone, I knew I needed someone to come and stay with me for the first few days after surgery. My fiancee and I have gone separate ways, and although we remain friends and he would have loved the chance to come back and "take care of me", I knew that would have opened a door that needs to stay closed. I realized that I would need help (I wouldn't be able to lift, reach or move my arms much). So when my Mom told me that she and my Dad (both 82) make the 2.5 hour trip from south NJ, I first told her no. I mean, who would be helping who? Neither of them are in good health....neither one can do much more than I would be able to. Then when I realized how much she really wanted to be with me, I accepted her offer. It meant so much to them both. And...it was comforting to know that they were there when I woke up. I'm so blessed to have both parents and know that they won't be around forever.
So.....this past week has been one Seinfeld episode after another. I kept looking around for a hidden camera! They are Jerry's parents to a tee...LOL. To have 82 year old parents around is a blessing, but a comedy show for real. We had lunch at 11:30, dinner at 4:30 and in between we talked about what we should eat the next day! It's no wonder I have been a "foodie" all my life. And the funny thing is, neither one of my parents are overweight! My dad has this fixation with changing settings on everything...TV, computer...anything...you name it. It's taken me two days to get everything back to the way it was..LOL.
On Thursday, I convinced them that I would be alright by myself (doc gave the okay to drive), so they reluctantly left to go back home. While it's nice that I'm back to my normal routine, I do miss them.
I drove for the first time yesterday...felt SO good (then), but today I'm feeling a little sore...not crazy pain, just a little. I'll take it easy for today. I guess I won't be going up to the Adirondacks with my sister and her family as I originally planned for this weekend...oh well. They'll be other fun times a-coming, I'm sure.
Now, life here resumes....
Bummer
Sep 05, 2009
But....
When I was 29 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. The years following have been filled with numerous surgeries....too many! I've had bi-lateral mastectomies and many reconstructive surgeries. The last one was Aug 2008 to replace a failed implant. Each and every surgery had some sort of complication.
The upside is....I never had to have chemo (caught it at stage 1a) AND...of course, that I am still here and cancer free at the moment (so are my two sisters). Whoo hoo!
The decision to have weight loss surgery was really hard given all my previous surgeries, and my friends and family (who are very supportive), were kind of surprised at me considering another one (elective this time) given my track record. I do nothing by the book...LOL.
So, the news....I noticed this morning that my other implant is showing signs of leakage....which means another surgery to correct it. My stomach is turning just at the thought of having surgery so soon. And...if I don't take care of it right away, the "pocket" where the implant sits starts to close up....meaning more extensive surgery later on.
I'm still reeling at the thought of last year's visit with the damn self righteous, conceited, arrogant, (but incredibly talented) plastic surgeon who, when I went back to him last year at 234 pounds, went on and on for almost the entire visit about my weight and did I know that I was 100 pounds overweight? I should do something about it. (Duh....I'm overweight? You're kidding. I should do something about it....like go an a diet? Hey, why didn't I think of that before?)
He had me in tears.
So there I was, sobbing.....I explained that for the previous 6 months, I couldn't walk or exercise because of torn cartilage in my right knee. Complications from THAT surgery had me out of work for 6 weeks. Yes, I did put on quite a bit of weight....between the pain from knee surgery....and breaking up with my fiancee of 6 years...and moving into an apartment (all in the same 6 months)....to say I was depressed was an understatement! But wait...add to that I NOW need another surgery....and you want to know WHY I'm so depressed?
I swore that I would never go back to him (even though the surgery DID turn out awesome). To boot, I gained another 10 pounds over the next six months. There...I showed him...ha!
So while I thought I would have a stress free, relaxed, do whatever I want kind of weekend....on my list today....find a reputable plastic surgeon in my area (very, very tall order)....sigh.
Hmmmm....or maybe just go to the Arts & Crafts fair in New Paltz as originally planned?
Cleaning out the closet
Aug 29, 2009
A few years ago, I bought a complete wardrobe to wear on our trip to Italy (Nutrisytem for 3 months....lost 20 lbs)....all summer clothes. Of course, I gained all that weight back by the end of that summer and haven't worn any of those things since! But since I really liked some of those clothes, I did save some tops and a couple of capris. And now, I'm down to those last few things.....and that means nothing to wear to work. This week I wore my favorite yoga/PJ pants with a sort of dressy top....that was really pushing it. Even though my office is sort of casual, wearing pj's is really a bit tacky.
Also, since summer is on it's way out and I really, really can't afford to buy anything new at this moment, I'm going to try my hand at alterations! But, just having a sewing machine doesn't make me a seamstress, so it will be a real challenge. Maybe I can take in a few of my capri's and a couple of tops. This aught to be interesting!
I've lost more than my grandson weighs!
Aug 11, 2009
Went to my son's house last night for his birthday. My cute little (tiny) daughter-in-law went to his fav restaurant and bought just ONE piece of his favorite dessert.....Death by Chocolate just so he could blow out candles. Since they just got married on Saturday (made if "official" after 8 years together), they had loads of wedding cake left, so she didn't want to buy yet another entire cake. Now that's something I would never have thought of....you can NEVER have too much cake, right? Well...it was good for me because...hey, no temptation.
(My son was the one who took me to the hospital for my surgery....he was amazingly supportive. I felt a bond that I haven't had with him in a really long time. I guess it was the first chance he had to be MY support....role reversal I guess. He's a great dad and a very loving person, but never had to step up to the plate like this before. He stayed with me the entire day after surgery.....I'll never forget it...I love him so much).
So....last night he kept saying how different I look....that my face is soooo much thinner. He was like, really MOM...you really look THIN! I laughed, thinking 197 is NOT THIN! When he asked me how much weight I've lost and I told him 46 lbs, he said.....go pick up Alex....he's 46 pounds! We all had a chuckle that my scrawney 7 year old grandson weighs just about as much as I've lost.
Interesting perspective! Hey....I think I DO feel thin...LOL
Pain finally gone
Aug 01, 2009
Now I can focus on actually moving around and starting to exercise a bit. Since surgery, everything hurt so much that I had to stop pretty much all physical activity. I SO don't want to be a bag of flab! Maybe now I can start walking again and try to do my beginner pilates (skipping anything that's uncomfortable.)
I also changed my food schedule a bit. The surgeon's office recommended two protein shakes per day with one pureed/soft meal. Since the protein was getting to me (too sweet), I decided have the protein mixed with iced decaf to sip on in between, as my morning/ afternoon supplement and three mini meals of puree/soft foods. This is working out well as far as my tummy goes, and it feels...well....more "normal".
I'm hoping that with the increased activity, I'll start to lose a bit more also. It's taken me two weeks to get back to the same weight I was before going back into the hospital on July 20th.
I realize the IV fluids they had me on were super charged, but I'm probably the only person who had a gastric bypass, ate nothing for a week and had diarrhea for a week that managed to gain weight! Figures!
Oh well....here's to a better week! Keeping fingers crossed.
Feeling better finally
Jul 25, 2009
I decided to use my own common sense and maybe I'm on to something.
First off, I decided not to take Actigall anymore. I know I'm chancing a possible future gall bladder attack, but if it was what caused the diarrhea and nausea last weekend, I'll take the chance. The doc said it was a possibility.
Also, I decided to stop everything temporarily....vitamins and blood pressure meds. While in the hospital, my bp was very low, so they never ordered any of the meds I took at home. I kept asking if these meds should NOT be stopped abruptly, but apparently they weren't concerned about that. So, if my bp is normal, why start them again? I will monitor it, but it's possible that my 40 lb weight loss had something to do with it. Also, I stopped taking Pravacol for high cholesterol. If my blood work shows that it's still in the high range, I'll start it again. I'm just so leary of everything I put in my body, I just want to make sure that it's absolutely necessary before I do.
Vitamins....I know I need them, so as soon as tummy is feeling okay, I'll start them one at a time. When I first came home from the hospital, I took EVERYTHING! Multi, calcium, B12, iron. Plus my meds. Maybe it was overload....who knows?
So, for now I'm taking Pepcid twice a day. Tomorrow I'll start my multi vitamin.
Gradually I'll add one at a time to see how everything sits.
So, whether my instincts are correct or not....we'll soon see.
All I know is yesterday and today things are much better than they were. I had my first pureed meal of ricotta and a dot of tomato sauce....YUM! What a nice break from protein shake. I felt so 'normal' having real food. Of course, I could only eat about 2 tablespoons, but it felt like heaven.
Trying to keep positive!
Complication Nightmare
Jul 23, 2009
I just returned from being in the hospital since Monday.
I thought I was doing pretty good, but this past weekend was really bad for me. I developed diahrea on Saturday. Then it seemed everything I sipped tasted very weird. I usually have no problem with my protein drinks, but for some reason I just couldn't get any down. Even water tasted strange. I must have tried 6 different drinks over the weekend, but every one of them tasted weird to me. I started to worry when the diahrea didn't stop and I was sure I wasn't getting in enough liquid to compensate for what I was losing. I also started getting a very strange bile taste in my mouth....so bad I kept gagging! Then I had a burning pain in my upper abdomin. I went to a support group meeting on Sunday, but couldn't stay because I felt so bad! I kept running to the bathroom all night.
Finally, I called the surgeon's office at 6am on Monday and the covering doc told me to go to the ER. I really do hate emergency rooms! They started an IV and then the waiting game started. Eventually a doc from the surgeon's practice came in and said they wanted to do a CT scan to make sure there wasn't any problems with the surgery. The CT scan showed a large gallstone in my gallbladder, but other than that, everything else looked okay. They had no idea why I had diahrea, so they decided to admit me overnight to watch me. 12 hours later, they finally found a room for me. They had me in quarrantine because they weren't sure if I was contageous. The trips to the bathroom were absolute agony! My bottom was so irritated and sore that every time I went, I would bleed. Then the diahrea was so spontaneous, I couldn't even make it out of bed. I ended up wearing a Depends....how humiliating is that?
During morning rounds on Tuesday, the PA from the surgeon's practice came along and told me that since all my tests came out negative, I would be going home. I burst into tears. How could you send me home when I can't control the diahrea? How would I not get dehydrated? And why would you send me home in worse shape than when I got there?
Then to make matters worse, I couldn't get a nurse to come in to get me another Depends. 5 hours later and numerous rings on the callbell, I finally got the attention of a nurse's assistant and told her I was going to call a Patient Advocate. I guess that was the magic words. A "mental health" nurse came in and said that the nurse on duty thought I needed a visitor! Can you believe it? I was so pissed! I told her that since I've been in, there were so many mistakes made and so little attention to what I needed, I was so frustrated.
First, the kitchen sends up a tray of liquids for me. The tray consisted of 8 packets of sugar, two apple juices and a regular jello. Okay, are they trying to kill me???? And what was I supposed to put the sugar in anyway?
Then, I asked over and over if I could get some kind of cream or ointment for my butt since I am bleeding and raw from going so much. Nothing.
Well....apparently she has some power there, and by the afternoon, I had a packet of baby wipes, a container of Tucks, a tube of this really amazing cream for ulcerated skin, a bag of about 10 Depends and a tray of acceptable liquids for me to drink.
I'll finish this later.....gotta go lay down....sigh!
Week 2 Post Op
Jul 15, 2009
I'm on to week #2. The pain is getting less and less, but I really look forward to the day when I feel really good. I cringe everytime I drop something knowing that I have to bend down all the way....ugh. My fiancee is coming here for a week, which will help with the laundry (just moved to a place without a washer / dryer...man, I was spoiled for the last 10 years). It's not the actual doing of the laundry I mind, it's the lugging back and forth to the laundromat, and sitting for almost 2 hours with all the very strange people. I really have an issue with the guys who sit and watch me fold my clothes...ick! Underwear and nighties go sraight on the bottom...folding can wait til I get home.
Anyway...I'm enjoying my days at home, Fortunately I have a job that allows me to work from home, so until Monday, I have a little break. Hopefully I'll feel well enough to make it through the entire day. We'll see.
Protein shakes are still tasting okay, but I actually had a craving for real food yesterday. For some reason, I really wanted a hamburger with ketchup. Don't ask me why....I really don't eat them that often. Funny though. I had some cream of chicken soup strained and that seemed to have killed the desire for the burger. I guess you can't have sweet all the time.
Meantime, it's 11 lbs down since surgery. Two inches off bust and hips....everywhere else is the same. Nice!
New beginnings
Jul 12, 2009
I'm glad it's over and now look forward to healing my new tiny tummy. They told me not to get on the scale for a week or two...since most people gain a few pounds from water retention right after surgery, but curiosity won and I've lost 3 lbs..YAY!
Trying to get down the necessary protein, fluids and pills are getting a little easier, but it was quite a challenge the past few days.
