iwant2sing

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I am almost there. I am so pleased with this journey.

Ok this journey is not easy. Realizing why you are fat is a bitch! This really makes you think. I went from 249 to 222 in less than two months! No diet pills or diet have ever done this this fast before! At first I didn't want to feel like a failure because I had sugery. But honestly I have been losing and gaining weight for half of my 31yrs of living an it was time to do something and quick. My goal is 135 it is looking promising! My daughters cancer is still in remission. The chemotherapy is whooping her ass though! She is so brave and strong. Sometimes I get tired and frustrated because it's been so stressful and exhausting but everyday I thank GOD for getting us through what seems like the most traumatic times in our lives. I would pick this time to quit smoking! Two months smoke free now! I can't eat like I use to either. I still have one two glasses of wine before bed to relax. Hey dont take all of my crutches! Overall I am hanging in there. With GOD anything and everything that's possible could become your reality!

Well my date is approaching and I need to be more serious. I am so stressed out with everything that is going on in my life. My next class is coming up on august 3rd and the 13th and than the surgery. This has to work for me.

I am so happy don't know what to do with myself. With everything I am going with my baby having leukemia,my family staying with me I am still being blessed by God. By the way I will find out if my daughter is in remission this week. I hate seeing her so moody,tired and crying. It makes me want to cry too. She will be fine I know it! I need to stop smoking before surgery. It's august 24. I am so ready to get out of this fat body. I know I don't feel good about myself. I can't stand taking pictures or seeing my reflection. I drink red wine at least 4-5 glasses a night before bed. I am so stressed out it's the only comfort I get.. I know it's sad . I keep asking GOD to help me get rid of these filthy habits and prepare me for the new me. My GOD tells me my daughter will be leukemia free and I will lose 110 pounds. I will find a wonderful man and a great father for my baby. We will have everything that's good in life. I will finish publishing my poetry book. I will record my album. We as a family will see the world and the world will look back us and smile.