Inlimbo
Today is August 3, 2008
My story? My story is probably the same as yours and everyone else who is reading this. I've always had a "weight problem" and like most of you, have been UP and DOWN with it my entire life. I just came to terms that "this is who I am" and "it (weight) will always be an issue for me." So I ignored my weight most of my entire life ....and dealt with my weight when it became necessary. You know, the weddings, vacations, reunions were all "the" reasons for "must lose weight!" Never mind the annual off-the-charts blood work numbers, the hypertension, back pain...the warnings my doc gave me! So...same story for most of you? I thought so.
"My story" actually began on July 16, 1987 although I did not realize it was "my story" until it's twentieth anniversary last year. A lot can happened to one during a 20 year span. Me personally, by July, '87 I had been married for 5 years. I had a daughter who in July, '87 was 1yr and 1mo old. I had a son in July, 1988. I divorced my abusive husband finally in Oct, 1989. Oh...another reason to lose weight...D-I-V-O-R-C-E! I lost A LOT of weight. Ultimately, as you guessed, all of my weight, plus some, was regained.
In 1998, I found my life-love. I had lost some more weight...was in a size 14 and "look'n good". He and I have been married now for 7 years. He has a daughter, so you can say I now have three children. He loves me just "the way I am"...don't you just hate that though?....the phrase, "Honey, I love you just the way you are....
" Anyway, I know he loves me but does he love looking at this NOW body w/a BMI of 45 who was recently diagnosed with Sleep Apnea and has to sleep with a CPAP mask strapped to her face every night (which by the way, he has yet to see me w/it on! )
So earlier, I mentioned "my story" began on July 16, 1987. I've had a year to dwell on this "milestone" 21st Anniversary. The milestone? I have out-lived my father by 17 days. He died on July 16, 1987 of a massive heart attack. He was morbidly obese, I assume by today's clinical definition. I am the same age today as my father was when he died. I think of all the things he's missed. He's not seen how beautiful and incredibly funny his only granddaughter (my daughter) has grown to, or the two beautiful great-grandsons she gave him. He has not ever seen his only grandson (my son) or know how smart he is and how much he looks like him. He's not met my now husband who makes me feel loved and makes me laugh like he used to. He has not met his step-granddaughter and know how kind and sweet she is.
I guess I made it to the "age 43 milestone!" But my reality is...I may not have a long life if I do not act and do something NOW. So my story that began 21 years ago continues today....I have decided to have RNY. I do not have a date yet....I should be close to getting a date though. I will keep you posted!
