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So, can't even know where to start.  I'm on my own, feeling better than I have since high school.  I'm enjoying every moment of every day and taking every advantage I can to spoil my kiddo!  A year ago, I never would have dreamed that this would be my life!!  I'm doing whatever makes ME happy for once in my life!!!  I am so much wiser than I was when I was 18, but I have the energy and self esteem that I used to!  Thanks to everyone for their encouragement and support.  I have moved onto a new chapter of my life and there's no looking back now.  God bless~  Misty

Ok, so I'm pretty settled in my new lifestyle.  And happy?  Am I truly happy without my ex-best friend (food) not hubby ha ha.  I can't believe I'm saying this, but yes.  I have learned to do without food as a comfort!  I no longer lust after snacks in my cabinets (partly 'cause they aren't there anymore) or dream about going to my favorite restaurants, or and this is the funniest one...secretly eat as much of the 'good' food at pitch-ins as I could.  I would sneak around trying to eat as much as I could without people knowing, I loved to eat it so much, I just didn't want everyone knowing how much I ate.  It's kind of humurous now, there was a pitch in at work over labor day and I remembered how I used to eat.  Totally addicted.  But, I have a few AH HA moments to share. 

1.  Went to the store to get a new swim suit 'cause the girls don't fit in my old one.  Picked out a size 24 because it looked so small, then I tried a 20, ok, so I'll try an 18, I even took in a 16, just to see.  OK~ I fit the 16! 

2. Noah (my kiddo) asks for water now instead of apple juice.  Thank you Lord, that is why I did this!

3.  I rode the elephant at the state fair this year.  Noah was too small without me and you had better believe I wasn't getting my big a$$ up there 60lbs ago!

4.  I went down the water slide at the pool!

5.  I get asked out everywhere from the grocery store to the gas station, It's a total ego boost!!!  Plus, my wedding rings don't fit anymore, soooo...oopsie!! 

That's it for now, I'm sure there will be plenty more where that came from!  DH and I are doing ok, counseling is a bit blah.  I don't do what she says I should, I still bring up the past and I'm still really pissed, so that's that.  He's been really great though, doing all I've asked and more, I'm just kinda over it.  I love him very much, I always have.  Just afraid of getting burned again, I guess.  Plus just still really hurt.  Well, good luck to everyone I hope you're doing great!!  ~Misty

Wow, it was a bad day.  I've been feeling kinda down on myself, borderline depressed?  I don't know, I've been real emotional and cry alot.  On top of that, my relationship with DH finally boiled over today.  He moved out.  Took everything that was his.  There is not a single thing in the house that belongs to him.  This is so strange.  I feel like this is what I wanted, I am so angry.  But, at the same time, I long for the happiness we once had.  I keep telling myself that this is how it has to be.  No excuses for his behavior.  When I told him I could not move on, my wounds are not healing, he told me I was the biggest B**** he had ever met, and that really hurt my feelings.  He did not even say goodbye to our son.  He told me to tell Noah he was dead when he asks where's daddy.  I can't figure out what has gotten into him.  The past few months, he doesn't even seem like the same person.  I'm so sad.  I can't believe this has finally happened.  I thought I was ready, but you can't prepare for this.  The finality of today just lingeres in our home.  Plus I have to get my mom to watch Noah at night when I go back to work, ughh.  I have got to start making choices that are positive for myself and my son.  God willing,the pain will be short as it is so dreadful I physically hurt.  Please pray for me.  Misty

OK, day four, no weight loss.  I cut out the carbs, bulked up on protein and I hardly eat anything!  What is going on?  I used to eat so many calories.  How can I intake such a small amount and not lose a single pound!  I have a flu bug from my kiddo.  So, back to bed.  I'm really over lying down all the time.   But, I think I'll be ok to go back to work 7/1.  I will be on a weight restriction until 7/25.  I work on an ICU, so there isn't a whole lot of 'light' duty. But, we are connected to a step down unit and that's probably where they'll send me.  Well....ta ta for now