indynurse
My Story... hmmm.. I am 42 yrs old with a BMI of over 50. I've been overweight since i was a teenager. Ive battled losing weight for least 30 yrs or so. The last 9 yrs or so have been the worse on me in all aspects of my life ; relationship with my husband, my health, my job. Its been horrible living in this body and I so pray that I can have this surgery and have a chance to change my life before this weight kills me. I tried to have this surgery 4 years ago but my insurance denied me, they didnt care i had 6 letters from specialists who said i will die without it. but finally we found out they are covering bariatric surgery as long as their guidelines are met. I think I meet them all except for the documentation of 6 months of physician directed weight loss. That part worries me . I've tried all kinds of diets, weight watchers, slim fasts, atkins, liquid diet ( which was under the direction of a doctor but as far as me having documentation of it I dont have ). I havent been able to work since Nov. 2007. and I've been in such depression ever since. Of course it didnt help that I was severely iron deficient , my ferritin level was extremely low , think it was 5. I hate myself so much and im so tired of feeling subhuman . I've felt subhuman my whole life but so much worse when I cant even work. My life is taking my daughter to school back n forth n staying in my home day in and day out. I go room to room in my home daily and life is passing by me outside the door. I feel miserable and in pain every day. I cant remember a day where I could say I feel good. I no longer can stand more than 10min without my back feeling like its goin to snap in pieces, I worry about the next time I have to go down some stairs that my knees are going to give out from the weight of my body stressing my knees. I hate that I have to go to a parking lot and see if I can find a close spot before I can think about going into a store briefly or visit a loved one in a hospital which I dread even more now that I cant work. I used to be the nurse taking care of sick , debilitated people and now I am one of them. I want to scream some days and not stop. I almost screamed out loud in a plus size clothing store. I've taught myself for years when looking in the mirror not to let my eyes go below my neck and i went into that store, to buy some pants. I went into the dressing room, took my clothes off n grabbed the new pants to put them on and i turned around n right in front of me, a full length mirror and I saw for the first time in a veryy long time what I look like from the neck down in a mirror , I put my hand over my mouth and willed myself from not falling apart n screaming the place down. I am so ready to have this surgery , I will do whatever is required of me .
Please God , please let me be approved for surgery
