hvncent1973

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OK, so maybe things aren't the way they seemed. Maybe my friend touched a sensitive core yesterday and I reacted defensively. I don't have a lot of true friends left and this one certainly never gave me reason to believe she didn't support me. Our conversation has been weighing heavily on my mind since it went down yesterday and that doesn't happen unless I feel uneasy about my own actions. All I'm saying is, I could have been unfair in my assessment of her actions/words. They certainly got me to thinking. There are areas of improvement that I need to deal with but all in all, I think I'm doing pretty damn good. I am extremely happy with the results I've been getting.  However with that said, I still indulge in sweet things a lot more than I should. So now that I find my friends words more inspirational than harmful, I think I will focus on my sweet tooth and see the benefits I will reap (maybe instead of losing 2 pounds per week, it will 2.5 or even 3). I remember her saying yesterday, "the last thing you want to do is gain your weight back, because you know someone is just waiting for that to happen", isn't that sad, but unfortunately very true. There are always going to be people in the world that would rather see you fail than succeed. And what I have to say for people like that is...do something with your life and stop living in misery...channel your own happiness and get on with living your life to the fullest(code for stop hating) !

Since when does losing 98.5 pounds in 9 months become negative! I had a girlfriend of mine ask me how much weight I had lost to date and after telling her 98.5, she went on to say, "I beat you to 100" (that didn't bother me because that's her personality). She had the surgery a month after I did. Then she went on to say, "I bet you're eating out all the time, you need to stop that" and on and on. I couldn't believe it! When does judging me for how much I weigh end. I wanted to say, why are you being negative about me losing weight, I didn't realize that you and I were in competition, but because I was stunned I was also speechless. It should be "hoorah" to us both for being brave enough to go through this surgery and for losing this weight that we couldn't lose on our own. She should have congratulated me just like I congratuated her. But, I would have been labeled a Bitch if I were to say, "If I threw up for months after having the surgery and used alcohol instead of eating I would have lost 100 pounds by now too", but instead I held my tongue, but in reality I was hurt. This is such a positive time in my life but I still get hit with those stupid ass statements from the ones I think have my back. Going through the trials of this surgery is hard enough without having those close to you not back you up. I have consistently lost 2 pounds a week and I feel pretty damn good, I exercise daily between 30 minutes to 2 hours and I have never done that before in my whole life. So my feelings about those that want to waste their breathe with negative comments "KEEP IT TO YOURSELF". All I know is my mom must have done something right in raising me because I would never try and bring someone down for any reason!

OMG! I have lost 98 pounds in less than 9 months. It doesn't get any better than that! There are times when I get concerned on whether I have hit a plateau and God just continues to bless me and I continue to lose weight. Being surrounded by people on OH that experience this daily is easy to explain that surreal feeling. But for those that have not had WLS and don't have this experience, there are no words that can describe how GREAT this feeling is! It is a high that I hope to experience over and over until I reach a healthy weight that will compliment who I am on the inside...

A couple of weeks ago I had a stress test. For those who have never had one of these before, you are strapped to a monitor that records your blood pressure, heartbeats and other things. You are placed on a treadmill that goes faster and inclines gradually every 3 minutes. The goal is to have your heart reach certain beats per minutes (for me it was 160 BPM), then a dye is injected into your system and the Dr's are able to see where if anywhere there are any problems with your heart. When I had this test about 2 years ago, I wasn't able to stay on the treadmill for more than 3 minutes and my breathing was out of control. This time around I was able to stay on the treadmill for 10 minutes. I was so geeked about this! Then last week I went to a kick boxing class at Lifestyles for Ladies and I had a ball. It felt great keeping up with a crowd that was mostly comprised of women that were half my size. I can safely guess that they were surprised that the "big girl" was working her ass off and not passed out after a couple of minutes. Don't get me wrong, I was sweating like I was at a 4th of July Picnic in Alabama with no shade, but my breathing was controlled and I could have continued on without a problem (that wasn't even true for some of the other women). Then yesterday, Mason (my baby Yorkie) and I went walking in the park and I wanted to see how far I could jog...I was pleasantly surprised to see that I could jog quite a distance and still be able to control my breathing and not have a hard time catching my breath. I continue to walk daily and I'm now thinking about joining Lifestyles (especially since they have a "no contract "special going on until the end of the month - you pay 15.99 a month and you can stop going after giving a month's notice if you want). I feel amazing and am nearing my goal I set but now I may have to re-evaluate that goal, but I'll have to see... Anyway good luck to everyone, I pray that their journey is at least as great as mine has been.

It has been 7 months since my surgery and I feel GREAT! Yesterday, I went for my checkup and my blood work was as it should be. They had this new scale that measures your body fat and I was told that I had lost 47% of the excess fat that I carry around - 93.5 pounds gone. I looked at my surgeon as he gave me this news and wondered if he knows what he's done for me. I kept thinking that he's performed this surgery numerous times and I thought maybe he's so used to delivering this type of information to his patients that he couldn't possibly comprehend what a blessing this whole process has been.  Not only has God blessed me with this surgery but he's blessed me with being surrounded by supportive people. I've been told that I look good, but when I look in the mirror I feel like 93 pounds lost should look different...I can't help but feel like, if losing this much still has me overweight, what the hell did I truly look like before (of course I couldn't feel totally good about myself; the devil had to make an appearance)? But anyway none of the negativity outweighs how wonderfully blessed I feel---I would change nothing about this journey so far. In fact there are two people I know that will be having surgery in August and I just want to send as much positive vibes and blessings their way as I can. God bless you Nichole and Tracy, hold on tight because this is going to be the most exhilarating ride of your life.

Not too much going on right now except that I'm down 86.5 pounds!!! Does it ever get old being happy about losing weight? Weight that you have struggled most of your life to lose and within months I'm staring at losing 100 pounds in the face. Words can't describe how excited I am!

The most interesting thing happened to me the other day...I got two phone numbers in less than 20 minutes from one another. For someone with a low self-esteem like me, this was a confidence booster like no other. I've never had options in my life like this when it came to men or dating. I even met a guy at school that I was very attractive to and it seemed like we had clicked with one another but in the end it didn't work out. Even in the short period of time that we spent with each other he made me feel attractive and sexy. I HAVE NEVER FELT SEXY IN ALL MY LIFE! So to hear someone refer to me that way was crazy awesome. We have decided to remain "just friends" but because of the circumstance of it all, I'm glad that we will continue to be friends. I still think he's HOT but what can I do but move on. That situation still leaves me very single and to be honest I'm ready to be claimed by a man that's going to make me happy and who I can make happy. I'm still holding out for "my boo". Anyway, this surgery has given me a life where I can be flirtatious and fun. I can be happy in my own skin and not be afraid to let everyone else know that I'm happy. I am truly happy and I can only imagine that my happiness is going to increase tenfold as this weight continues to come off and the way I view myself becomes more positive. Now that I've had a taste of what it feels like to have a MAN show interest in me and make me feel like a real WOMAN, than the boys I've been dealing with for the better part of my life is a thing of my past. I know that I have always settled when it came to men but I don’t want to anymore. I know that I deserve so much more and I feel like where I’m at in my life now, I can demand more.

I’m having the time of my life! I have never been happier with myself as I am right now. Today, I weighed myself and I am down 70 pounds. I have never in my life been able to lose 10 pounds on my own so excuse me for being in awe of this whole process. As my weight has gone down, my confidence has gone up. This past weekend, I went to Cincinnati and went to a club called Rhino's with my friend Danielle and instead of finding a safe secure area and just chilling for the duration of the night...I was out on the dance floor having a ball. Had it not been for the wedges I was sporting I would have danced even more.

I have been getting compliments all the time on my weight loss. The other day, I went in Ashley Stewart's and the girls that work there that hadn't seen me in a long time complimented me on my weight loss. It feels amazing! I'm down 4 dress sizes and am wearing a size that I haven't worn since I was in high school. Others have said they think I'm pretty and for a girl with damaged confidence this has been an amazing confidence booster. Some say that I have been an inspiration to them and that they are taking control in any way they can with their own struggles with their weight.

My family has always been and continues to be by my side. They are my biggest cheerleaders and I am so grateful for them. Friends on the other hand have slowly disappeared. But not all of them, my best friend who initially was not in favor of me having the surgery are now cheering me on. She even gave me some clothes from her closets that were too small for her and I in turn gave her my clothes that have gotten too big for me. Another of my friends is getting the surgery herself and now I can be her cheerleader. The thing about losing people who are supposed to be your friends is you try and be supportive of them in whatever they do but when that support is not returned when you need them...guess what, they probably weren't the friends you thought they were and you still have to live and not let that negativity drag you down no matter what. That is the path that I have decided to take and you know what, GOD blessed me with new friends that are supportive and that too is great!

I have been looking through the transformations of others on OH and I hope that I have the success that you'll have. This experience is just too surreal to explain unless you're going through the exact same thing. So I pray for continued success for us all and for those hoping to get the surgery to be successful because it will be life changing for you. 

 What can I say? I am so happy with the results of my surgery. It has been 2 months since my procedure and I am down 51.5 pounds! Only people going through this can understand how wonderful this feels. It is truly unbelievable... I feel so blessed. Little things like polishing my toes, sitting indian style and even running without feeling like my heart will explode are just a few of the positive differences I've noticed. I feel GREAT and I wish every person struggling to lose weight but can't, could have this incredible feeling. I pray for continued success with this and I'm also praying for my friend who is struggling to get WLS.

 

WOW, someone I thought was my friend made fun of one of my pictures today. She made fun of my graduation picture in front of ...NO LESS A SKINNY BYT@#. I'm contemplating REVENGE because I have some before pictures of her that would rock her world. Tell me what you think... I'm I blowing this out of proportion or should I post her before pics of her everywhere?