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I spent a very health-full weekend at Shanti Retreat on Wolfe Island near Kingston, Ontario. This was another 'victory' for me.  I am fortunate to have a 'chair yoga' group in my community so I had begun to realize the benefits of gentle yoga for helping with balance and the beginnings of movement of long-defunct muscles.  I signed up for a mat yoga class a few months back, and even though I have difficulty getting up and down to the mat, and problems with poses that use the knees, there are still many things I can do.  So, I decided I wanted a more 'instructive' yoga session.  Shanti is in a peaceful location.  The food is vegetarian and healthy, and I did 4 yoga sessions of about 1.5 hours each, plus meditation.  I survived and thrived. I really want to try to begin a daily yoga practice in my life...there, I set a new goal :-)

About five years ago when we moved into this house we put in a nice tub downstairs...a deep soaker.  And I have never been able to get into it to enjoy it...until yesterday.  Not only did I get in, I got OUT.  It's almost as hard as getting out of a kayak, but I feel like I was able to soak off about a pound of old skin.  Gosh it is good to be able to enjoy a nice bath.  One of the many little pleasures of getting rid of cumbersome fat.

Today, August 13, I got in a kayak. This was not a graceful act, and when I exited, I ended up in the water. But, hey, I did it...and I even paddled around the bay for 10 minutes.  This would NOT have been possible 4 months ago.  Getting in a kayak or canoe, and being on the water, has been my 'vision' for the past year as I focused on why I was doing this.  I need a few more lessons, and I need stronger arms, but it's a beginning, and I am pretty darn happy about this :-)

Almost August and progress is coming along.  Last week I had my two month follow up with the nurse specialist at the Civic and she told me my expectations for faster fitness are not realistic given my age.  At the upper end of the age range it will take me longer to recover from the surgery, and given my 20 years of arthritis - and now no anti-inflammatory drugs at all - it is natural that I will feel pain and creakiness for some time.  Over the past month I had quite a few experiences where I 'lost my cookies'...all of them I think related to eating too fast.  I find it really hard to slow down to this pace, but when I really really dawdle over food, things work fine.  So I just need to learn this lesson completely.  My appetite for a wide variety of well seasoned food is diminishing too.  Last night I was determined to make a curry and Jamie made fresh naan on the BBQ.  Over the course of an hour I was able to eat one chicken thigh, about 3 T of the sauce (tomato, onion and potato), and one half of a naan.  Not so long ago this would have been one of my favourite foods, plus there would have been rice and another veg or two.  But now, my eyes are SLOWLY learning that they are much bigger than my stomach. 

I set a date with myself for September to do a cull of my closet....clearly some things will be moving to the Sally Ann.  And last friday I bought my first new clothing item.  I needed a black dress for a funeral, and lo and behold, I found one that I squeaked in to at Jones New York outlet for 75% off...and it will fit for a long time.  So nice to be able to buy sale items.

Finally today I saw movement on the scale.  I felt like I was firming up a bit, but seeing no movement on the scale for 3 weeks can be a bit discouraging.  I am faithfully entering my food and activities in a journal and counting protein, but it is clearly time to count calories too...I suspect I am eating too much. The good news is that adding 2T of Bran Buds to my breakfast has really helped with bowels. Now if only I could get my hips to stop aching so I would be more motivated to walk and do other exercise.  But all in all, I feel that I am learning to live well with my new leaner stomach :-)  I hope everyone else out there is doing well too!

Well it is June 10, 16 days out from surgery. My old bowel problems and adhesions meant I didn't pop out of hospital as fast as those around me...who seemed to be recovering at remarkable speed.  I had to stay in 8 days as we waited for my bowel to begin to function, after much protest.  Dr. Yelle and Dr. Smith (headed to Nfld.), and the nursing team at the Civic Campus, took fantastic care of me, as did my hubbie.  I am so grateful for this quality of care and the circle of support.  In the end, due to the complications, Dr. Yelle chose to do a vertical sleeve gastroectomy VSG, and I think this will be 'just fine' for me.  I am still not 'processing' stuff all that smoothly, but I am sure the right mix of food and elimination will sort itself out.  I didn't start fluids until I was home, and I have progressed to shakes with protein powder and a bit of veggie or fruit added, everything from banana, to mango, to strawberries, to sweet potato, and even a white potato with green onion to make a sort of vichysoisse :-)

I haven't had the oompf for walking which is disappointing...mostly because my back aches a lot (constipation), my legs are swollen (no idea why but have appt with nurse on Wed), and I feel deeply tired (figure this is the result of 4 hours of surgery and almost 59 years of age).

Anyhow, overall I feel very lucky to have had the chance to have the surgery, and optimistic that it will be the tool I need to control portions, lose weight, and regain some mobility!

OK, so this weekend was a tad more challenging...because I was in 'high risk' situations where I was exposed to people eating picnics and healthy things that made me crave to eat food with texture.  Really, it's not like I am gonna 'cheat' in the final stretch.  Last week I got excited because I discovered Crystal Light, only to find out from friend Crystal, that it has calories.  Oops!  Anyhow, only a couple more work days, then the 'travel' day, and then d-day.  Somehow getting down to just one last box of Optifast makes it even more real...cupboard is running dry :-)

My 'little' goal is to make it to the June meeting.  Attending the May meeting was a real boost for me.

All the best to everyone else who is heading in for surgery in the next couple of weeks!

Got through all the pre-op steps today in Ottawa; arrived at 9, got out of there about noon - 3 hours is what was predicted.  I am also participating in a study which means they get to take some DNA and some fat and bone scrapings while they are operating. Always interested in supporting more research about causal factors for obesity.

Hello everyone.  This morning's biggest problem is trying to figure out how to use this site.  Now that I figured out just how much one has to compress photos, I realize why everyone, including me, looks a LOT worse than we do in real life.  These grainy, out of focus pix remind me of mug shots from the police :-)  And I haven't figured out how to make comments to the group, nor who/how to 'friend' people because I don't know your names yet!  All in good time.

Anyhow, last nite I attended my first group meeting in Kingston...and what a good thing that was.  It seems like a lot of you are lot more familiar with lingo and stages in the process than am I, so sometimes I was pretty confused, but I got excellent answers to my questions and felt like this will be a great network of support.  I particularly appreciated the woman who showed me the 'scars' about 5 mos. post surgery (nice to have practical information - thank you!), the balance of 'good' stories and 'challenging' ones - reality check, and most of all, the laughter about the realities of obesity...i.e. not fitting in those damn restaurant booths.  And to my great surprise, I met someone who is having surgery the same day as me, with the same surgeon.  Now that is cool. And thank you Muriel and Lois for reassuring me that out there in the future, I WILL be able to eat fresh Ontario veggies again, like asparagus, corn on the cob, etc, in moderation!

So, I am just a little over two weeks from my surgery date.  This is something I have considered, and stepped back from, for over 4 years.  But now I am ready, and very happy that my surgeon is someone who has operated on me in past, with great success...and he knows exactly what he is in for because he keeps such meticulous records.  He tells me there is a 50:50 chance that he will have to do a 'sleeve' instead of the full gastric bypass, because of previous adhesions.  And either way I am happy, because I know he will make the choice based on my best health outcome. 

Last fall my husband and I read an important book called Wheat Belly, which I recommend to everyone.  It will give you something to think about re: how the food industry has introduced wheat into more and more food products since the 1950's, and how, due to the modification of wheat, it has become a problem food for many of us to digest, and most of all, has qualities that are 'addictive'.  I have always known at some level that the whole bread family is what I love most, and the more I eat it, the more I want.  So now that I understand that this addiction was actually 'created' to some extent by food scientists, I feel like knowing this makes it easier to pass it by.  The more you can do the shopping on the outside perimeter of the grocery store (where fresh and chilled foods are), the more you can avoid the empty and addictive calories. 

So now I am hoping that the surgery will help me to work on modifying my 58 years of bad habits (eating too fast, eating too much) in a way that will allow me to have more mobility some day.  I dream of getting on a bicycle or into a kayak or canoe before I am 60.  Here's hoping!