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Here I sit again. Weight- 159 this AM. I spoke to a wonderful and close WLS friend who had the same thoughts I was having....I am going to join WW for some accountability- Thanks Shelly!!  I think I need it and crave it somewhat. I am almost three years out. Wow- hard for me to realize that amount of time has passed. My life has truly changed...most for the good, but there has been some not so good. I now have osteoarthritis- yea I probably had it way back when as well, just now it is more noticeable. Kind of painful and limits my exercise. I am going for a low impact type of walk now. Hello Leslie Sanson!!! :) I truly wanted to run- like the kind I used to dream about where you never get tired and you feel that euphoric high I have only read/dramed of. Yea, not going to happen. I watched an A and E show last night- Heavy. Wow, talk about bringing it all back home. I used to get winded and out of breath walking. I used to "eat" my emotions. How many of us have "fallen off the wagon"? Hats off tot hose people on there. I paln on watching all the episodes, and being truly motivated by these people. so, as soon as I have the $$$$, look out WW here I come!!

Ok, lets try to keep the downward spiral going!!!! Whoop Whoop!

I was horrible yesterday!! Forgot we had a unit meeting and I PIGGED out!! Got on the scale, and thank goodness I was still under 160...barely. I weigh 159. Yep, got to get this rear in gear. Wish me luck. I have planned my meals out today. Oatmeal for breakfast, sandwhich for lunch (1 slice of bread only) and sweet and sour chicken for dinner. You can do this Denae!! Yes, I am my own best cheerleader....and sabotager! Today, though, I am a cheerleader! 

Yep, once a week, Monday with its balck cloud rolls in. Ok, I weighed...back at 159. Crap! But, I did not eat as well on the weekend as I did during the week. I think it is official...I have lost "my window" when weight loss is soooo easy. I am now like any other normal female who struggles to keep the weight off, or at the very minimum, in check. So, I think to myself, no time for breakfast, so I will try the new oatmeal at McDonalds. Warning- I saw how they prepare it. They rip open the packet, pour hot water and a scoop of dried fruit. Wow- for $2.15, I got HIJACKED!! I could have done that myself (for lots cheaper), and chosen a brand with fewer sugars/carbs/calories! Lesson learned. I ate it, but tried not to eat all those gosh darm raisins and stuff. 57, 57 carbs!! That is almost 4 carb servings. Really...I would have preferred to eat a piece of chocolate cake than that if I am going to get that many carbs! So, here I sit on this dreary Monday contemplating my life and weight again. My pants are still tight (duh) and I need to do something. Last night I went to Wal-Mart and bought a mini trampoline. Should be fun to work out on. My nazi personal trainer from November showed me a few cardio things to do on it. I like jogging on it (mind you, with a very supportive bra) and using weights. That will be what I do tonight. Supper tonite is lemon chicken. Getting in the groove and revved up for a wonderful week. Glad I can vent here. I already feel better.

Not having the greatest day in the world today. Stepped on scale and good news is I don't weigh 160. Bad news is I still weigh 158...no change. Boo hoo. Oh well, onto another day.

Today I weighed 158. No loss. Oh well, you win some and you lose some. Get it...lose some? I crack myself up. I am not deterred though. Yesterday was a good day. Only thing I would have done different was more water and walk. I didn't do well on those two things, hence the weight stayed the same I think. I am sitting here this AM reflecting...eating my protein oatmeal. I am still committed. I am still here. I even have a partner in crime who is helping me- my sis. We are eating low carb together. Lunch will be a foldie over sandwhich of ham and cheese, and dinner will be chicken in foil packets. Numm!!! Check in tomorrow.

Yesterday was a great day. Stayed on track all day and dropped two pounds. The pouch still works!! Also managed to get in all supplements and walk two miles. Weight today- 158. Yay me! Made an old recipe I found -- baked egg custard. Reminds me of flan. Nom!!! That way I can have dessert and not feel deprived. But, I also still go to my old fave- mock cheesecake- or at least that is what it is to me (cottage cheese and strawberries sweetened with splenda). Amazing, I know how to do this, I just have to make it happen. Yesterday I was thinking...I can't believe I had a $30,000  surgery and I am backtracking. I needed this eye opener- in the worst way. Call it an intervention. I got all my old fav recipes out of the recipe box and planned this whole weeks menu. I am ready to make the change. Size 8 Levi jeans hanging on my wall- here I come...again. They are there to motivate me. They greet me every AM and they are the last thing thing I see before I close my eyes. Cant believe I don't dream about em! I did it once, and I will do it again.

Weight today is 160 still (BMI is 30.2- obese for my height wahhh). Doing the low carb and 30 minutes of exercise. Going to work on water, water, water, and increasing exercise by the week. Today is a great day to be me!!!! Positive mind and attitude is going to work for me!

Well, it is 01/01/11 and time to revisit his year. So thankful I had my rny. It has opened a whole new world to me. This was my first year in "maintenance". I have learned that yes, I can eat sugar and bread, and yes, I can actually gain weight. My new years resolutions come with a bittersweet experience. last night, for the first time, I had real ice cream. An hour or so later, I had major stomach pain. worse than anything I have ever experienced. I even called my doctor. Felt totally stupid, and got a butt chewing from him. I totally deserved it. Anyhow, it was horrible reaction to milk, and had trapped gas and bloating. Never again. The hardest lessons are the ones we remember the most. And, I will never forget that I promise! My new years resolutions are to cut back no diet cokes. I had 0 yesterday and one this AM. Went to the store and didn't  buy any junk food or my usual case of diet coke. Bought fresh fruit and veggies and lots of protein. I am ready. No junk food in house. Next resolution is to exercise at least 4 times per week and to lose 15 pounds. All of these are so DO-ABLE. I will be checking in her for accountability and posting weight. So, Happy New Year to me and you (if you are reading this)!

Needless to say, I started off with good intentions (yea, yea I know the saying...the road to hell is paved with good intentions ). I then ran into a roadblock at work and had to work late, skipping dinner. Thus, I weight he exact same as I did yesterday.

Accountability check: yes, I had a pkg of grandma cookies. Paid for them dearly as I got sick. 9PM at night, on way home from skipping lunch, andbeing illon cookies, I ate a few bites of my child's dinner- a meximelt. what in the world is wrong with me????? All the food looked unappetizing- gross to be exact, but yet I ate it. I think I ate out of stress....I am a social worker and ended up doing a  removal. Dealt with hostile parents, locating a foster home, dealing with my child and the stress of having to find someone to watch her. I need to channel my stress into better eating habits/areas.